In many societies, it is becoming more common and even acceptable to date more than one person at the same time.
Online dating made it easy to meet a virtually unlimited number of attractive singles and that’s one of the reasons why people are taking longer to settle down.
This feeling that grass is greener on the other side and that there is always someone better just a click away often makes it hard for singles to make a decision to commit to one person.
However, dating multiple people at the same time might not be as easy or even fun as many people think.
Some people enjoy having more than one “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” while others can’t handle these kinds of relationships.
So let’s take a look at why some singles go out on dates with multiple people and what are the problems that they encounter.
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Why Some Men and Women are Dating Multiple People at Once?
1. They Didn’t Find the Right Person Yet
While searching for their perfect match, many singles go out on dates with multiple people at the same time.
They might have a date with one match in the morning, another date with someone else in the afternoon, and then one more date with another person in the evening.
They might continue seeing all those people for months until they feel that it is time to choose and settle down with one of them.
For some people, this type of behavior might sound completely inappropriate while others see it as the quickest way to find the right partner.
2. They Like the Excitement of Dating Multiple People
Dating one single person can get boring pretty fast, especially in today’s world of instant gratification where everyone wants everything right away.
That’s why some men and women are seeing more than one person at once. This way if they get tired of someone they can call someone else.
These are usually the people who have several friends with benefits (FWB).
3. They are Trying to Get Over Their Ex
If the guy or girl is still in love with their ex they might be hesitant to get into another committed relationship right away to avoid getting hurt again.
Instead, they may choose to date around to forget about their ex and hopefully meet someone they can fall in love with again.
4. They are Not Sure What They Want
Some people are just not sure what they want in their life.
They are not sure if settling down with one person is something they will enjoy and that’s why they date multiple people in hopes that at some point they will get that feeling that will tell them what to do next.
5. They are Afraid of Commitment
The feeling of being tied up to one single person and not being able to see anyone else scares some people from dating only one partner at a time.
It is also possible that they were previously in a committed relationship but had a very controlling and overly jealous partner and now are afraid to end up in the same situation.
6. They Have a Fear Of Missing Out
Dating only one single guy or girl means that you will potentially miss out on many other people that might be more attractive or even a better match for you.
This is especially common for people in long-term relationships that met when they were still very young.
Unfortunately, the fear of missing out can also be the reason why people cheat on their long-term partners.
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7. They are Following Bad Role Models
If you take look at the movies or social media, you will find a lot of “role models” that project the idea that dating multiple people is more fun than settling down with one single partner.
All this online social peer pressure can make some people believe that seeing multiple people at once will somehow make them feel happier and they end up breaking up with their partner only to realize later that it was not worth it.
8. They are in Love With More Than One Person
It is not uncommon to “fall in love” with more than one person at the same time especially if you just met them and attraction is still purely physical.
If you end up falling for two people at once, it can be hard to make a decision on whom you should date exclusively.
9. They are Too Busy
Some people are very busy and can’t commit to seeing just one person.
Having two “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” might work better for their busy lifestyle especially if they have to travel a lot for work and don’t stay in one location for a long time.
10. They Don’t Believe in Monogamy
If you look around the internet on forums like Reddit, you will find people that just don’t believe in monogamy and never want to settle down with only one partner.
Disadvantages of Dating Multiple People at Once
1. Feelings Can Get Hurt
In most cases, dating or sleeping with multiple guys or girls almost never works in the long term.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try usually at some point someone will catch feelings and will get hurt after realizing that you will not dump your other partners for them.
2. It Can Be Confusing, Exhausting, and Messy
It is not always easy to keep track of all the places you visited and conversations you had with all the people you are seeing. The same goes with trying to remember who you are going out with and when.
You will also need to make sure that the people you are seeing don’t run into each other because it can create a lot of jealousy and drama especially if you were not transparent about dating other people.
3. It Can Be Expensive
If you are paying for your dates, seeing multiple people can get pretty expensive.
Even if you are only paying for yourself dating more than one person at a time means that you will be going out more and spending more money.
4. You Will Get Judged
It doesn’t matter if you are a guy or girl if you are dating multiple people at the same time you will be judged by other people.
This can potentially limit your dating opportunities with some of those people in the future because you might be labeled as a player.
In addition, this can also negatively affect your relationship with your friends and family who might not understand your lifestyle.
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Etiquette for Multiple Casual Dating
1. Don’t Lie About Seeing Other People
There is no need to tell your date the first time you meet them that you are seeing other people.
However, as you start sleeping together and do normal couple things it might be the time to have a conversation so that everyone is on the same page.
You don’t want them to assume that you are exclusive while you date other people behind their back.
2. When Going Out Only Focus on One Person
Avoid chatting or talking on the phone with other people you are seeing while you are on a date with someone.
Not only it is very disrespectful but there is also a high chance that your date will dump you if they find out.
That’s why establishing clear boundaries is very important when dating multiple people at once.
3. Don’t Lead Anyone On
If someone you are dating is starting to catch feelings and wants to be more exclusive don’t lead them on by lying that you are not seeing anyone else or promising to dump your other “partners” while you are not planning to do so.
4. Don’t Hide That You are Sleeping With Multiple People
When people start to sleep with each other, that’s when strong feelings start to develop and people get hurt if they are not being totally transparent with each other.
To make it work every one of your partners needs to know that you are sleeping with other people. That’s how FWB relationships work.
5. Use Protection
This one is pretty obvious. If you enjoy taking a risk by sleeping with multiple people, use protection to protect your other partners that might not be aware that you are not using protection with anyone.
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What to Do If Your Crush is Dating Other People?
If you don’t want the guy or girl you are dating to see other people, you need to have a talk about being exclusive.
Start it by asking if your partner is seeing anyone else. The next step is to tell your crush that you like them and you want to stop dating other people.
If they agree, perfect. If they are not ready to stop seeing everyone else, tell them that it is fine but you will need to have this conversation soon again when they are ready.
However, as we discussed today some people enjoy dating more than one person at once and will not be willing to stop doing that just to be with you.
In a case like this, you will need to make up your own mind and decide if you want to stay or find someone else who might be more interested in a seriously committed relationship.
Don’t let the fear that you will not be able to find anyone else stop you from leaving the relationship arrangement that doesn’t work for you.
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