Kissing girls generally has three tiers of difficulty, from easiest to hardest: kissing a girl, kissing a girl without getting punched, and getting a girl to kiss you. In a society that so gleefully pushes gender roles onto us from birth, it’s typically expected for the man to kiss the woman, thus making it hard for the more nervous among us to know what signals to send to tell our significant others that we would prefer them to initiate the smooching.
If you are a man or woman curious about how to get your girlfriend to kiss you first, here are some helpful tips to get you on the right track.
#1. Be sure you have a shot to begin with
Did YOU know?
1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club
2) 38% of singles are using online dating
3) One in six marriages now begin online
This should go without saying, but just to be clear: make sure that the girl in question would want to kiss you to begin with. Make sure she’s your girlfriend, or at least someone you met on a date, which went so well you genuinely believe you have a shot. If you don’t feel like you would get away with kissing her, the reverse will probably have the same outcome.
#2. Do something fun
Take your girlfriend out to lunch, or a movie, or even the beach. Or better yet, take her somewhere that she’s been really excited about going to, like a particular movie, or an amusement park etc. Show your girlfriend a fantastic time, and she’s bound to reward you with a kiss on the cheek or lips at some point. If both of you get nervous easily when kissing in public where lots of people can see you, go somewhere where you can have fun but also get away from prying eyes easily.
#3. Give her a gift
Get her something nice out of the blue. A piece of media she’s been wanting, her favorite dessert, or if you want to play it classic, a bouquet of flowers. Never underestimate the power of an unexpected gift.
#4. Always be prepared
Brush your teeth regularly, floss, and use breath mints if need be. Kisses can be quite the unexpected gesture of compassion, so always be sure your girlfriend won’t catch you with terrible breath.
#5. Send signals
A common trope is that women are far more effective with and receptive to physical cues than men. Whether this is true in the broad strokes, it’s worth a try at the very least. Send some signals to your girlfriend: putting your arm around her shoulders or waist, if she’s leaning in toward you for whatever reason, look at her eyes then down at her lips, or just pay her compliments you know she’ll love. Or maybe you two have been together long enough to have your own in-jokes and ticks that could suffice. There is a myriad of different ways to say “I’d like a kiss from you please.”
#6. Recognize signals before sending them
Read her body language; is she in the mood for intimacy right now? If you send a signal, tease her in any way, and she returns in kind, then keep it up until she kisses you. If there’s any indication, however, that she simply isn’t in the mood right now, then abort and back off. Nothing will turn off your girlfriend faster than advancing when it won’t be appreciated.
#7. Add variety
Don’t kiss the same way in the same place twice. Don’t reserve kissing her for in private, even if openly showing affection is a bit hard for you. Keeping it too private can potentially send the message that you’re embarrassed to show that you care for her. Also, kiss her everywhere you go at least once, making each one more significant, which will in turn plant the idea that kissing you anywhere is also good. Finally, don’t just kiss the same way all the time, as that will get boring very fast. Kiss her in varying degrees of intensity depending on the situation, and switch regularly between the lips and cheek. This is playing the long game, letting her know that each kiss will be special, and that unexpected kisses and other shows of affection are welcomed and encouraged.