Do you suspect that your husband or wife is having an emotional affair at work?
Or maybe you feel guilty about your own emotional cheating?
Unfortunately, emotional affairs are quite common and some people don’t even realize that their behavior is unfair to their partners.
It often starts as an innocent friendship with a coworker that eventually develops into something more intimate.
Even though emotional affairs don’t usually involve physical contact, they can still be very damaging for your relationship or marriage.
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When someone is having an emotional affair, they may find themselves thinking about the other person more than their wife or husband.
They may also start to compare their partner to their coworker.
These thoughts can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction about their current relationship and eventually can lead to a physical affair.
Another challenge with emotional cheating is at it is often hard to detect until it is too late.
We will take a look at the most common signs of emotional cheating at work and what you can do about it.
Signs of Emotional Affairs at Work
1. You Share Your Intimate Details
When you have emotional affair with someone, you feel comfortable sharing a lot of intimate details about your personal life with them.
This can be anything from texting them when you have a fight with your husband to discussing your lack of intimacy with your wife.
2. You Spend a Lot of Time Together
You usually have lunch or coffee breaks together and after work, you often go for drinks or dinners.
Maybe they even give you rides home or to work. You may also stay late at work just to spend more time together.
It is okay to hang out with your coworkers but if you never invite anyone else to join the two of you, it might be a sign of an emotional affair.
3. You are Physically Attracted to Them
Most people are physically attracted to their affair partners and often try to dress nicer to impress them and get their attention.
In some cases, you may even find yourself daydreaming about being physical with them.
4. You Enjoy Flirting With Them
When you have emotional affair with someone, you will likely flirt with them on the regular basis.
You may even find yourself making inappropriate innuendos or jokes, touching them frequently, or complimenting their appearance.
5. You Think About Them a Lot
You may find yourself thinking about your affair partner, even when you are not at work.
When you are involved in an emotional affair it is common to daydream and fantasize about what could happen between the two of you.
6. You Make Time for Them
You always make time for this person, even if it means changing your plans.
You may change your work schedule to see them more often or even cancel plans with friends or family to spend more time with your affair partner.
7. You Miss Them
When you are having an emotional affair with your coworker, you will find yourself missing them on a weekend or during your holidays.
8. You Constantly Talk About Them
You can’t help but talk about this person to your friends and family.
You may also find yourself defending your affair partner if someone says something negative about them.
9. You Fantasize About the Future With Them
You may imagine getting married or having kids or picture yourself going on vacation together.
10. You Keep Secrets From Your Partner
Most people hide their emotional affairs from their husbands and wives and that’s one of the reasons why it can be so damaging to a healthy marriage.
They also often lie about spending time with their affair partners or say that it is just their friend and nothing more.
11. You Feel Guilty
Often the line between friendship and emotional affairs gets blurred and it is not easy to tell if you are doing something wrong.
However, if you feel guilty about the time you spend with your coworker or the things you talk about with them then you are definitely crossing a line.
12. You Feel Jealous
You feel jealous when this person talks or spends time with someone else at work.
You might feel threatened by their relationships with others or be afraid that they will leave you for someone else.
13. You Text Them Late at Night
When you are not at work, you continue to text or talk to your coworker.
You might even stay up late texting them when you should be asleep with your husband or wife.
14. You Invite Them Over
You might invite your affair partner over to your house when your spouse or significant other is not around.
15. You Send Them Dirty Texts Or Photos
When your emotional affair is getting too far you might even find yourself sending your coworker your intimate photos or dirty texts.
16. You Admit That You Love Them
You have told your coworker that you love them, or you have strong feelings for them.
Texting Examples of Emotional Cheating
Most people get caught cheating by their partners because of the types of texts they send.
Here are a few examples of texts people send to their emotional affair partners at work.
- I miss you so much
- I’m so bored without you
- I’m feeling so lonely
- You’re the only one that understands me
- I can’t stop thinking about you
- I’m so excited to see you soon
- I don’t know what I would do without you
- There’s no one like you
- Seeing your name pop up on my phone makes my day so much better
- You always know what to say to make me feel better
- I can’t wait to hear your voice again
- I’m having a tough day, I wish you were here with me
What to Do If Your Spouse Is Having An Emotional Affair at Work?
Finding out that your husband or wife is having an emotional affair at work can be devastating.
You may feel betrayed, jealous, and angry.
However, it doesn’t always mean that your relationship is ruined and there are ways to deal with this situation.
Remember that emotional affairs don’t involve actual physical cheating so they are easier to fix.
1. Talk About It
If you suspect that your partner is having an emotional affair at work the first step is to talk with them about it.
There is always the possibility that you have mistaken a regular friendship for an emotional affair or your partner doesn’t even see that there is a problem.
At this stage, it is important to be calm and to avoid blaming your partner until you find out what exactly is going on.
If your partner’s relationship with a coworker makes you uneasy, tell them how it makes you feel.
It might be difficult, but it is necessary if you want to get on the same page.
Discuss what led to this emotional affair, how you feel about it, and what can be done to salvage your marriage or relationship.
2. Set Boundaries
Once you’ve talked about the emotional affair, it’s time to set some boundaries.
This will help to rebuild trust in the relationship and prevent further damage.
For example, you might agree not to have any communication with the person your partner had an emotional affair with.
Whatever boundary you set, make sure you both are comfortable with it and willing to stick to it.
3. Seek Therapy
If talking things out among yourselves doesn’t seem to work, then seeking help from a therapist might be a good idea.
A therapist can help identify any underlying issues in the relationship that might have led to the emotional affair and provide guidance on how to deal with them.
He or she can also help facilitate communication between both parties so that they can better understand each other’s feelings and needs.
4. Give Each Other Space
If the emotional affair has caused a lot of tension and arguments, then it might be helpful to spend some time apart.
This doesn’t mean you should break up or get a divorce.
It just means you need some time apart to clear your head and figure out what you want for the future of your relationship.
5. Work on Rebuilding Trust
Once the boundaries have been set and you had some time to think things through, it’s time to start rebuilding trust in your relationship.
This will take time and patience. Both of you will need to make an effort to be more transparent with each other and keep your promises.
Over time, as your partner shows that they can be trusted again, the relationship will slowly start to heal.
6. Take It One Day at a Time
The process of dealing with an emotional affair is not going to be easy or quick.
It’s going to take time and effort from both of you.
There will be good days and bad days.
The important thing is not to give up on each other and keep working at it until you reach a point where you can forgive and move on from what happened.