13 Big Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man or Woman

Dating a divorced guy or woman can be tricky especially if they are recently divorced.

It is likely that they are still not fully over their ex and could still be harboring feelings of bitterness, anger, or resentment.

This usually means they are not ready to fully commit to you.

That’s why if you’re dating someone who is recently divorced, you need to be prepared to be patient and understanding.

Give them time to work through their emotions but at the same time make sure your partner is not taking advantage of you.

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For example, if they are constantly complaining about their ex or using you to work through their issues, that’s not healthy.

It’s also important to make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to your relationship goals.

If you’re looking for something serious and your recently divorced partner isn’t ready for that yet, it’s important to have an honest conversation about it.

The last thing you want is to end up in a rebound relationship that isn’t going anywhere.

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Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man or Woman

1. They are Not Over Their Ex

This could manifest itself in several ways, such as them still being angry at their ex, constantly talking about them, or trying to do things to “get back at them”.

If your new partner is still stuck on his or her ex, it’s a sign that they are not ready to move on and it’s probably not worth your time to pursue a relationship with them.

2. They are Using You as a Rebound

Be wary of someone who’s recently divorced and immediately jumps into a new relationship.

They may be trying to fill the void left by their spouse or even as a way to get back at their ex.

Whatever the reason, if you think you might be someone’s rebound, it’s important to have a conversation with your partner about it.

Make sure you’re on the same page about what you’re looking for because rebound relationships rarely work out in the long run.

3. They are Moving Too Fast

There’s no set time frame for how long it should take to move on from a divorce and start dating again.

Some people might need a year, others might only need one month, it really varies from person to person.

However, if you just met someone and they’re rushing into things, it can be a red flag.

If they’re trying to push you into meeting their kids or moving in together before you’ve even got a chance to get to know them, that’s a warning sign.

It might be that they’re trying to recreate the happy family life they had before, but it’s more likely that they’re desperately grasping at anything that might make them feel better and take their mind off their pain.

Either way, it’s not a good sign, and you should proceed with caution…

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4. They are Still Bitter About Their Divorce

If your date is venting about their divorce on the first, second, or even third date, beware!

Sure, it’s normal to talk about past relationships with a new partner but if they can’t seem to stop themselves from going on (and on) about how horrible their ex was, pay attention!

This person is clearly not over the hurt and pain of their divorce and they will likely bring that baggage with them.

5. They are Needy and Clingy

Sometimes people who have gone through a divorce can become quite needy.

They might have gone through a period where they felt completely alone and felt like no one had their back, so now they’re overcompensating by being clingy.

If your new partner is always needing reassurance that you love them or is constantly asking for your attention and approval, it might be a sign that they’re still carrying some emotional baggage from their previous relationship.

6. They are Jealous and Controlling

If your new partner feels like he “lost” his last relationship, he’s going to do everything he can to make sure he doesn’t “lose” this one as well.

That might show up in a number of ways, from him constantly wanting to know where you are and who you’re with to him being overly possessive and jealous.

If you find yourself constantly having to reassure him or defend your actions, it might be a sign that it is time for you to move on.

7. Multiple Divorces

If your new partner has been divorced more than once or twice, take that as a red flag.

Even if they seem to have learned from their mistakes and are now in a good place, the fact that they have been through two (or more) divorces definitely raises some questions.

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8. They Were Cheating on Their Spouse

If he was cheating on his spouse during his marriage, what’s to stop him from doing the same to you? Nothing, unfortunately.

It’s not just that he has a proven track record of being unfaithful; it’s that he has shown that he’s willing to completely disregard his vows and commitments when it suits him.

9. The Divorce is Not Finalized Yet

If your partner is still fighting with their ex over things like child visitation, child support, or the division of assets, it’s probably not the best time for them to be starting a new relationship.

They are going to have a lot on their plate and will be preoccupied with other things.

It would be unfair to expect them to be able to give you the attention that you deserve while they are going through all of that.

10. They are Financially Unstable

If you’re dating a divorced man, one red flag that you might not be able to see but you definitely should be aware of is his financial situation.

In particular, you should find out if he is still paying alimony and/or child support. If he is, that’s not necessarily a dealbreaker but you should know about it upfront so that you can be prepared for what that might mean for your relationship.

11. They are Emotionally Unavailable

A lot of times, people who are going through a divorce can be emotionally unavailable.

They might be closed off because they’ve been hurt before, or they might be having a hard time trusting people again.

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable, you might feel like you’re always the one doing the work in the relationship and you’re not getting anything back.

12. They Have Addictions

If your new partner has addictions, that’s definitely a red flag because, in many cases, addictions are one of the main reasons why marriages end in divorce in the first place.

Even if addiction wasn’t a factor in his previous marriage, the fact that he’s now divorced means that he’s likely going through a lot of stress and pain, which can sometimes lead to additional substance abuse.

If your partner is addicted to anything, it’s important to get him help and, if necessary, reevaluate your relationship goals.

13. They are Living With Their Ex

Some divorced couples remain friends and even business partners after their divorce—but it can be a difficult situation to navigate.

If you’re thinking about dating a divorced man or woman who is still living with their ex, there are a few things you should consider first.

For one, it’s important to find out why they are still living together. If it’s simply because they can’t afford to live apart, that’s one thing but if it’s because they’re hoping to get back together, or if there’s any other ulterior motive, it’s best to steer clear.

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