30 Red Flags to Watch Out for When Dating in Your 50s

When you reach your 50s, you may start to feel a bit anxious about dating especially if it is been a while since the last time you were on a date.

After all, you’re not as young as you used to be, and the dating scene may seem more intimidating than it did when you were in your 20s and 30s.

The good news is that there are plenty of other single people in their 50s who are looking for love as well so you are not alone.

The bad news is that while looking for love you may run into some individuals who will try to take advantage of you, and today we will discuss the best ways to avoid those people.

Now that you are older and wiser you are probably not looking for games, drama, or someone who will waste your time—you want a partner who is honest, reliable, and compatible with you.

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To help you find your perfect match we will take a look at the main red flags that you will notice when you meet someone who only wants to scam, take advantage or make your life miserable.

This way you will know when it is time to say no and move on instead of wasting your time on someone who isn’t worth it.

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Top Red Flags to Keep in Mind When Dating Someone New in Your 50s

1. Last-minute Cancellations

If somebody consistently cancels on you at the last minute, it is usually a sign that they are not really interested in being with you.

It could also mean that they are already seeing someone else and you are their second choice.

2. Unwillingness to Compromise

Compromise is essential in any healthy relationship, and if your partner is unwilling to do so at the early stages of your relationship, it’s a big red flag.

3. Controlling Behavior

Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a controlling partner especially when you are in your 50s.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly trying to control or manipulate you, it’s time to dump them and move on.

4. Excessive Jealousy

While a little bit of jealousy can be normal, too much jealousy is definitely a red flag.

If your partner is constantly jealous of you or accuses you of things you didn’t do, it’s not healthy.

5. They are Always on Their Phone

It’s one thing to text or answer a phone call from a friend in an emergency but if your date is on their phone the whole time, it’s a sign that they’re not really interested in you.

6. They Always Talk About Their Ex

If they are constantly talking about their ex then this is definitely a red flag, you don’t want to date somebody who is still hung up on their past relationships.

It’s usually a waste of time to pursue someone who is not emotionally available.

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7. Unhealthy Lifestyle Choices

These include drinking, substance abuse, gambling, and other sketchy behaviors.

If your partner is engaging in any of these activities to excess, it could create a lot of problems in your relationship.

8. They Can’t Hold Down a Job

If someone in their 50s can’t hold down a job, it’s usually a red flag.

It means they might be lazy, unreliable, and not good with money.

You don’t want to date someone who is always unemployed and wants you to support them.

9. They Put Your Down

We all have our flaws and it’s important to be able to accept each other’s imperfections.

If someone you just started seeing is constantly pointing out your faults, it’s a sign of disrespect and it will only get worse over time.

10. Lack of Physical Affection

It is important to feel loved and wanted by your partner.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend never wants to hug, kiss, or even hold your hand in public, it’s a sign they are probably not physically attracted to you.

11. They Avoid Personal Questions

If your partner refuses to answer any personal questions about themselves, it may be a sign they’re hiding something from you.

12. Disrespectful Behavior

This can include interrupting, talking over you, or flirting with other people right in front of you.  

It can also be more subtle, such as not listening when you speak, or not being interested in your opinions.

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13. They are Vague About Their Job

In the early stages of dating, it is common for people to be a little vague about their job.

Nobody wants to bore their date with the ins and outs of their day-to-day work life.

However, if your potential boyfriend or girlfriend is being deliberately vague about what they do for a living, then it could be a sign that they are not proud of their job or are hiding something.

14. They Never Talk About the Future

Couples in a healthy relationship should be able to discuss their future together.

If your partner never talks about the future, this could be a sign that they are not looking for anything serious with you.

If you are looking for something long-term, then it might be time to ask your partner about their intentions to make sure you are both on the same page.

15. They Avoid Questions About Their Family

It could be that they are estranged from their family, or it could be that they have some dark secrets in their past that they don’t want to share.

It is also possible that they are still married…either way, it’s a red flag, and you should proceed with caution.

16. They Never Offer to Pay

If your date never offers to pay, then they are probably just using you either to get free food, drinks, or other things.

Be extra careful if they are asking you for money right after your first or second date.  

If you find yourself in this situation, then it’s best to cut ties and move on unless you want to date a golddigger.

17. They Never Invite You to Their Place

If you’ve been dating for a while and they never invite you to their place, it is usually not a good sign.

It could be that they still live with their ex or … wife.

18. They Tell People That You are Just Friends

If you have been dating somebody for a while and they introduce you to their friends as a friend, this is a sign that they don’t see you as a romantic partner or are ashamed of you.

It might be time to discuss with them where the relationship is going and what are their intentions.

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19. They Ask You for Money

If they are asking you for money only after seeing you a few times, it is a huge red flag.

There are many scammers out there who try to take advantage of people looking for love.

So if your Tinder or Bumble match is asking you for money it’s best to walk away especially if you never met them in person.

20. They Don’t Want to Meet in Person

You’ve been chatting with them for a while and they’re great but whenever you ask them out they always have an excuse.

Maybe they even sent you intimate pictures or videos of themselves to keep you interested…

It doesn’t matter what excuses they give you for not being able to meet you in person, you should be wary of anyone who only wants to talk to you online because it is highly likely that they are not who they claim to be.

21. They are Only Interested in Sleeping With You

There’s nothing wrong with casual dating, as long as you are both on the same page.

If however, you are looking for a serious relationship and your partner only texts you when they are in the mood for some dirty fun, it can be a problem.

22. They are Still Married

If they are separated, that’s one thing but if they are still technically married, that’s a red flag.

23. They Have a Lot of Debt

If they are constantly talking about their debt or how they can’t seem to get ahead, it’s a red flag.

You don’t want to settle down with someone in their 50s who doesn’t know how to handle their finances.

24. They Never Introduce You to Their Friends or Family

If someone is serious about you, they will want to introduce you to their friends and family.

If they never do, it is probably because they are not planning to stay with you for a long term.

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25. They are Still Living With Their Ex

If someone is still living with their ex, it’s a major red flag.

It means they haven’t moved on and they are still emotionally attached to their ex, and it will be very difficult for you to compete with that.

26. They Have Never Been in a Long-term Relationship

If someone in their 50s never had a long-term relationship, it is usually a sign that they have commitment issues and are only looking for casual dating.

27. They’re Secretive About Their Past

If your date seems uncomfortable or unwilling to talk about their past, it could be a sign that they’re hiding something.

Maybe they’ve been married multiple times and don’t want to talk about it or maybe they have some skeletons in their closet that they don’t want to share with you.

In any healthy relationship, honesty is key, so if your partner isn’t being open with you, it’s probably best to move on.

28. They Only Talk About Themselves

If your date only likes to talk about themselves and is not interested in anything you have to say, it could be a sign that they’re narcissistic or self-centered.

29. They Still Play Mind Games

Games are for teenagers, not adults in their 50s.

If your date is still playing mind games like acting hot and cold or playing hard to get, it’s time to find someone more mature.

30. They are Insecure and Needy

Insecurity and neediness are major red flags, especially for someone in their 50s.

Read next: 20 Best Dating Profile Examples for Seniors

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