Do you have an amazing boyfriend or husband that you really love but he is just not that good in bed?
It is not that rare to have a great relationship but not be compatible in a bedroom.
However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t improve your bedroom life if you are willing to be a little more open and patient with your guy.
Every man is different and needs a different approach and you can’t always compare your current boyfriend to your ex.
Instead of blaming him for his poor performance a more mature and productive way to deal with it is first to determine what exactly you don’t like and what might be the reason why your guy is not good.
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What Makes a Man Bad in Bed?
- He completely ignores kissing
- He has no idea what he is doing
- Being too rough
- Being too shy or insecure
- Never tries anything except for the missionary position
- He can’t last for more than a few minutes
- He can’t get hard
- Poor hygiene
- Being completely silent
- After he finishes, he never checks whether you are done or not
- Never going down on you
- He never asks if you are satisfied
Now let’s take a look at the most common reasons why some guys are not good at bed and what you can do about it.
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Top 5 Reasons Why Your Guy is Bad In Bed
1. Luck of Experience
If the guy doesn’t have much experience in the bedroom because he didn’t date before or is actually a virgin, the best way to improve his performance is by telling him what you like.
Telling your boyfriend that he sucks in a bedroom or comparing him to the other guys you slept with is not the best way to deal with this problem. This will only ruin his confidence and he may even start avoiding sleeping with you in the future.
Instead, try to help him out by telling him what you like and praising him when you see that he is getting better.
Many younger men grew up watching adult movies and learning from them. However, in many cases, reality and scenes in adult movies are very different.
Women in those videos may look like they are enjoying the things the male actor is doing to them while in reality, they are just faking it. In general, most of those adult videos are not focused on making a woman satisfied.
Obviously, when the guy tries to use this “knowledge” with his new girlfriend she will likely be disappointed.
That’s why communication is important so that he knows what you like and what turns you on instead of relying on videos he watches online.
Many women feel comfortable sharing their intimate experiences and tips with their female friends but unfortunately, most guys don’t do that with their buddies and that’s why they have to learn everything on their own.
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2. He Has Anxiety
Just like women some men have anxiety when it comes to sleeping with someone. It can be anything from performance anxiety to being afraid that you will judge him for the way he looks without his clothes on.
Anxiety is usually the worst when you just start dating and with time should decrease or completely go away.
Praising him when he does something you enjoy and being patient is the best way to lower his anxiety. Taking things slowly will help your guy to relax and be more comfortable in a bedroom.
Also, try to avoid making a guy stressed by mentioning how experienced your previous partners were or expecting him to be perfect every time you sleep together.
If he is not able to perform for some reason today, tell him that it is okay and you can do it next time instead.
3. He Has an Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is not as rare as you may think and unfortunately, it can create a lot of problems in a relationship.
Usually, older men are more prone to erectile dysfunction but it can happen at any age especially if the guy is depressed or under a lot of stress.
Sometimes it can be caused by anxiety and will go away with time while in other cases medical intervention might be required.
Often lifestyle changes can decrease or even eliminate erectile dysfunction however if nothing works it might be time to see a medical professional.
Many guys are very hesitant about seeing a doctor so it is important to be supportive and reassure him that there is nothing to worry about and it is just a small setback that you will overcome with some help from medical professionals.
4. Low Libido
Not everyone has the same libido and for some doing it a few times per week is ideal while others only need to have intercourse a couple of times per month.
Obviously, if you belong to the first category and your guy belongs to the second, you will likely experience some issues in your intimate life especially if he doesn’t satisfy you during those rare instances when you sleep together.
First of all, communication is very important because it is possible that he doesn’t realize that you want to do it more often especially if you never initiate it yourself.
Secondly, lifestyle changes like losing weight, eating healthier, and being active can increase your guy’s desire to sleep with you more often.
Lastly, you can increase his desire to sleep with you by acting more flirty, cuddling, and dressing more seductively especially when you are alone at home.
This means wearing more revealing and tighter clothing or surprising him by wearing new lingerie. If you are not sure about the color go with red.
Another good idea is to try playing dirty games that will turn you both on like for example putting cream on yourself and asking your guy to lick it with his eyes closed, playing truth or dare, couples twister, or even using some adult toys to spice things up.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of a good massage. Give your guy a slow sensual massage until he begs you to sleep with him.
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5. He is Lazy and Selfish
Some guys are naturally lazy and selfish when it comes to sleeping with women and this might be the reason why you feel like your boyfriend or husband only cares about himself in a bedroom and never leaves you satisfied.
Most guys become more selfish and lazy with time as they become more comfortable with their partners. This type of behavior is common in long-term relationships and marriages.
The best way to deal with a guy who is too lazy is through communication. If you have never mentioned how you feel, he might just assume that you are happy and will not do anything to change things up.
If you have tried to tell him how you feel or what you like but he keeps treating you like his personal toy then it might be time to decide if you are willing to stay with him if his behavior never changes.
Read next: 5 Things That Make a Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman
Should You Break Up With Your Boyfriend If He is Bad in Bed?
Even though being incompatible in the bedroom can create a lot of problems in a long-term relationship it is always a good idea to give your boyfriend a chance to change his behavior by following the tips that we discussed today.
In many relationships, this can be enough to fix the problems in the bedroom.
However, if you tried everything and you are still miserable in a bedroom to the point where you consider cheating on your boyfriend it is definitely a time to break things off.
Be mature about it and don’t blame him for his poor performance in the bedroom before breaking up with him. Instead, tell him that you are not compatible and you don’t feel a connection anymore and it is time to take a break.
Don’t stay with a guy just because you are afraid that you will never meet anyone else. He will feel it and this will only make you both more miserable.
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