If you ever used online dating, you probably met a couple of guys who were already in a relationship or even married.
Some of them are not happy with their current partner while others are just curious about the online dating scene.
While there are many other reasons why some men in relationships choose to use online dating, this behavior can hurt their partners.
However, we are not going to talk about the morality of this but instead will focus on what exactly drives men to continue using online dating when they are already seeing someone.
We will also take a look at how you can find out if your boyfriend or husband joined a dating site and what can you do about it.
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Why Do Guys Go on Dating Sites When in a Relationship?
1. They Miss the Excitement
When you’re dating someone new, everything is exciting and fresh.
You’re getting to know each other and there’s an element of mystery.
Over time, that excitement dies down and is replaced by comfort.
To feel this initial excitement again some men go on dating sites to chat and talk to other women.
2. They are Curious About Other Women
He may love you, but he probably still wonders what it would be like to date or even sleep with other women.
3. They are Not Getting Enough Attention
If your man feels neglected and unimportant because you stopped paying attention to him, he might be tempted to try online dating to see if he can get some of this attention from other women.
4. They are Not Getting Enough Intimacy
Some men have a stronger libido than their girlfriends or wives and if they’re not getting their desires satisfied at home, they will look elsewhere to get their needs met.
5. They are Bored of Their Intimate Life
Marriage and long-term relationships tend to kill the excitement.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with your bedroom life, it’s just that, well, it becomes routine after a while.
The same old position every night can make a guy want to find something new and exciting.
6. They Want to Feel Desired
Getting matches and messages from women on dating sites can make some men feel attractive and desirable especially if their significant never makes them feel this way.
It can be a big ego boost for men to know that other women find them attractive.
7. They are Insecure
When a man’s self-esteem is low, he seeks validation from others to feel better about himself.
And what better way to get validation than from random women on dating sites?
8. They’re Curious
Some men simply want to know what online dating is all about especially if they never got a chance to date around.
This is common for men who got married at a very young age.
9. They are Exploring Their Options
Some men are just never ready to settle down even if they are already seeing someone.
They’re always looking for the next best thing and dating sites provide the perfect platform for them to do so.
10. They Want to End Their Relationship
If the guy is not happy in a relationship and wants to end it, he might go on dating sites because he doesn’t care if he gets caught.
Some guys intentionally want to get caught so that their girlfriend would break up with them.
11. They Have a Fear of Missing Out
With all of the social media and dating sites out there, it’s easy for guys to see all these single beautiful women while they are “stuck” with the same girl.
FOMO (fear of missing out) can be a powerful motivator to get him to click on that “single and looking” profile to see what kind of women he can get.
12. They Want to Cheat Without Getting Caught
If the guy is in a committed relationship but wants to explore his options and have some fun on the side without his partner finding out, he might use online dating.
It is usually much easier to get away with cheating on your partner if you sleep with a random stranger you met online versus someone you know in your real-life life like for example your neighbor or coworker.
Read next: 29 Hot Date Ideas for Married Couples
13. Looking for Someone With the Same Kinks
After years of boring and predictable intimate life, some guys want to explore their kinky side and they often use online dating to find someone looking for the same things.
14. They Want to Date More Than One Woman
Some men think that seeing one woman at a time is not enough and may actually have a girlfriend but at the same time continue to meet other women behind her back.
This is common with men in long-distance relationships or someone who often has to travel for work.
15. They are Just Bored at Home
Some people in relationships join online dating sites just becasue they are bored at home while their partner is away at work.
Men like that usually use online dating apps like Tinder and Bumble to entertain themselves and in most cases are not looking to cheat on their partners.
16. Their Girlfriend or Wife Cheated on Them
If the guy has been cheated on, he may go on dating sites to seek revenge by sleeping with other women.
In some cases, his girlfriend might even give him a pass to make it fair becasue she was the one who cheated on him first.
17. They are in an Open Relationship
Open relationships are typically defined as relationships in which the parties are free to have other intimate and romantic partners.
Both men and women in an open relationship use online dating to meet other people looking for the same type of relationship.
18. They Forgot to Delete Their Dating Profile
Some guys simply forget to delete their dating profiles after meeting their girlfriend.
If not deleted, some dating sites will keep the profile visible which can make it appear as if the guy is still active even if in reality he is not.
19. Someone Else Is Using Their Photos
Lastly, there is always a chance that someone stole your boyfriend’s photos and is using them to create a dating profile either to send spam, make you doubt your man, or just for fun.
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10 Ways to Find What Dating Sites Your Partner is Using
Most men do a very poor job when it comes to hiding their online dating activity so it is not hard to find out if your man was using online dating to chat or even meet other women.
We will share with you a few easy ways to find out if your husband or boyfriend is being unfaithful to you.
However, before you start snooping around you need to have a good reason to be suspicious of your man or otherwise you might come across as a controlling and jealous girlfriend.
1. Look through your partner’s internet search history to see if they have visited any dating sites.
2. Check their email inboxes and look for any messages from dating sites. Don’t forget to check their spam and deleted folders.
3. Check your partner’s phone to see if he installed any dating apps.
4. Google your partner’s usernames and nicknames to see if it leads you to any dating profiles.
5. Look for credit card charges from dating sites. Some dating sites might charge under a different business name to keep the privacy of their clients so if you see any questionable charges just Google them and see where it leads you.
6. If you are seriously concerned that your husband is being unfaithful, hire a private investigator to look into his dating activity.
8. Use a reverse image search to see if your partner’s profile photos are being used on dating sites.
9. Try searching for your partner’s username on popular dating sites.
10. Look for ads from dating sites. If you suddenly notice a lot of ads for dating sites, it can be a sign that your man was doing some research about them.
What to Do If Your Boyfriend or Husband Has a Dating Profile?
When you find out your boyfriend or husband has a dating profile, it’s natural to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed.
However, before you confront him, take a deep breath and consider a few things.
It’s possible that his profile is inactive and he’s not actually using it to meet anyone.
If his dating profile is active, it’s possible that he’s not actually cheating on you and is only doing it because he is bored.
There are ways to handle this situation in a way that will minimize the amount of drama and hurt feelings.
The first thing you need to do is to calm down and assess the situation.
If his profile is inactive, there’s no need to worry but you can still mention it to him and ask him to delete it.
If his profile is active, try to figure out why he’s using it.
One sneaky way is to open a dating account yourself and message him to see what exactly he is up to.
No matter how you decide to approach this if your boyfriend has an active dating profile, you will need to have a serious conversation with him.
This might be the time to discuss any issues you are currently experiencing in your relationship and if there is anything you can do to fix it.
Here is a quick checklist that you can use when confronting your partner about his online dating activity.
1. Find out why he has a dating profile. Is he unhappy in the relationship? If there are underlying issues, address them head-on.
2. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings. If you’re angry, hurt, or disappointed, tell him how you feel.
3. If he explains his reasons and you are willing to forgive him, ask him to take the profile down. If he’s not willing to give up his dating profile, it may be time to move on.
4. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what’s going on. They may be able to offer their opinion on what you should do.
5. Know your worth. If he’s choosing to look for someone else online, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect you because there are many other awesome single guys you could be dating.
6. Seek advice from a relationship expert. If you want to save your relationship, they may be able to help.