Imagine getting a text message that leaves you questioning your worth, feeling inadequate, or doubting your memory. Sometimes, it is filled with excessive praise, other times, it is bursting with undignified demands and bragging. The text messages like these are often sent by narcissists.
But who is a narcissist, and what are the classic signs of narcissistic behaviors?
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are typically individuals with outlandishly high self-images.
They see themselves on a golden pedestal, above the rest, making them indulge in excessive self-importance.
However, beneath this glittery surface usually lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to even the slightest criticism.
Narcissists often wrestle with severe emotional turmoil that they disguise with their ostentatious personalities.
Their behaviour takes various forms from passive-aggressive sarcasm and pretentious flattery to outright arrogance and manipulation.
Critical components of their behavioral repertoire include exploiting others without guilt or shame, frequently demeaning or dismissing them, and showing little to no empathy.
Their interactions usually revolve around leveraging relationships to serve their interests rather than forming meaningful connections.
Unmasking narcissism isn’t always easy because they often disguise their behaviors to portray themselves as charming, charismatic figures with an engaging façade.
However, their communication style, especially text messages, can sometimes shed light on their narcissistic tendencies.
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Examples of Narcissist Text Messages and How You Can Reply Back
1. “Everyone’s calling me for advice because I’m the best. Lol.”
Bragging is a key trait among narcissists.
Reply: “It’s great that you’re able to help others, but remember we all have strengths in different areas.”
2. “Why didn’t you reply right away? Is something more important than me?”
The persistent need for immediate attention from others shows a narcissist’s fear of losing importance.
Reply: “We all have commitments, just as I respect yours, I expect you to respect mine.”
3. “You’re so lucky to be dating someone as amazing as me.”
Such shocking remarks reflect the narcissist’s inflated self-image.
Reply: “We are both fortunate to have each other.”
4. “I think you should start working out more.”
Subtle criticism about appearance/preferences/choices is another telltale sign. They often undermine the other person’s self-esteem to maintain their upper hand in the relationship.
Reply: “Well, I respect your opinion, but it’s important to accept others as they are.”
5. “Nobody else would have put up with you as long as I have.”
This belittling approach is a way to make you question your worth, leaving you feeling undeserving of better treatment.
Reply: “All relationships take effort and patience, not just ours.”
6. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
A classic non-apology where they don’t accept any fault, but instead, place blame on your feelings.
Reply: “What’s important is how we address and resolve the issue.”
7. “I wouldn’t have made that mistake.”
Narcissists expect perfection from others while exempting themselves from the same standards.
Reply: “Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes and learn from them.”
8. “I could have anyone I wanted.”
Reminding you of their perceived desirability to keep you feeling insecure.
Reply: “It’s not about having ‘anyone’, it’s about respecting the feelings and commitment of the person you are with.”
9. “I’ve done so much for you. You’re being ungrateful.”
They expect constant gratitude and recognition.
Reply: “I value your efforts, just as you should value mine.”
10. “You overreact. You’re too emotional.”
They minimize your feelings and gaslight your emotions.
Reply: “My feelings are important, as are yours. We must acknowledge and respect them.”
11. “I’m sure you’ll agree I’m exceptional.”
They seek assurance in their inflated self-image.
Reply: “We all have unique qualities that make us special.”
12. “Your friend was hitting on me.”
To provoke jealousy and keep you on edge.
Reply: “That sounds like something you should discuss with my friend instead of gossiping.”
13. “You don’t appreciate me enough.”
Aspirations of receiving constant praise and reassurance.
Reply: “I do appreciate you, showing love and appreciation should not be a competition.”
14. “If you cared about me, you’d do this.”
Manipulating you to get what they want from you.
Reply: “Caring for someone isn’t about proving it through specific actions demanded by them.”
15. “Why do you always make it about yourself?”
Despite often making situations about themselves, narcissists project this behavior onto others.
Reply: “If we both take turns to share and listen, our conversation can be more fruitful.”
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16. “Maybe if you worked harder, you’d be more successful.”
Downplaying your achievements to protect their ego.
Reply: “Success comes in many forms, not just the ones you define.”
17. “Impress me; remember who you’re talking to.”
Showing their sense of entitlement and superiority.
Reply: “We should seek to be true to ourselves first rather than striving to impress others.”
18. “If I offended you, then you need to grow up.”
Dismissing and belittling your feelings while absolving themselves from any blame.
Reply: “Our growth involves respecting others’ feelings, not dismissing them.”
19. “I’m not arguing; I’m explaining why I’m right.”
Refusing to acknowledge different viewpoints.
Reply: “A conversation involves understanding each other’s opinions, not just proving one right.”
20. “I deserve more than this.”
Constant dissatisfaction with what they have and desire for more admiration or material possessions.
Reply: “We all deserve the best, It’s necessary to express needs without neglecting others’ feelings.”
21. “It’s not bragging if it’s true.”
Justifying their excessive pride and arrogance.
Reply: “Being proud of one’s achievements is good, but humility makes it more admirable.”
22. “Do you know how lucky you are to be with me?”
Again, leveraging their inflated self-image to make you feel less valuable.
Reply: “Luck works both ways in any relationship.”
23. “You’re not thinking clearly; good thing I am.”
Constantly questioning your judgment to assert control.
Reply: “Implying that someone can’t think simply because they have a different opinion is not fair. Our perspectives are equally valid.”
24. “Your success is all thanks to me.”
Assigning themselves at the center of your victories.
Reply: “It’s vital to acknowledge individual achievements even while in a relationship.”
25. “Why can’t you be more like me?”
Comparing you to themselves to belittle you.
Reply: “Imitating someone isn’t the best way to grow, we improve by learning from each other’s strengths.”
26. “You’re lucky I put up with your drama.”
Gaslighting is designed to make you feel constantly indebted to them.
Reply: “To call someone’s emotions or concerns ‘drama’ is dismissive.”
27. “Don’t embarrass me in front of others!”
Their image in public is crucial as they fear losing status or respect.
Reply: “Raising concerns or disagreements shouldn’t be seen as an embarrassment.”
28. “I’m doing this for your own good.”
Justifying their controlling or hurtful behavior.
Reply: “Deciding what’s good for me is my responsibility.”
29. “I’ve had better than you.”
A fear-instilling tactic to make you compete for their affection.
Reply: “Comparing partners isn’t healthy or respectful behavior.”
30. “You need help; my friends think so, too.”
Turning others against you via manipulation and lies.
Reply: “My mental health or personal growth is not something you should be discussing with your friends.”
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31. “Trust me, I know what’s best for us.”
Controlling decision-making in a relationship, believing only they can be correct.
Reply: “Decision-making should be a mutual process in any relationship.”
32. “Did I ever mention being on TV before?”
Name-dropping or flaunting past experiences to impress and assert superiority.
Reply: “That sounds like a wonderful experience indeed!”
33. “Stop dragging me down.”
Accusing the victim of holding them back by not adhering to the narcissist’s plan or vision.
Reply: “If there are issues, shifting blame isn’t the answer, let’s work together on it.”
34. “My ex still wants me back.”
Deliberate provocation to keep the power balance shifted towards them in the relationship.
Reply: “That seems like an issue between you two, perhaps it would be better if you resolved it.”
35. “It’s your fault if this relationship fails.”
Shifting blame for any relationship issues on you.
Reply: “The success of a relationship depends on both partners’ efforts.”
36. “You just disagree because you can’t understand my ideas.”
Making their thoughts seem superior and too complex for others.
Reply: “Difference of opinion doesn’t equate to lack of understanding.”
37. “I’m leaving if you keep arguing with me.”
Threatening abandonment during conflicts or disagreements.
Reply: “If there are issues, we should work them out together instead of threatening to leave.”
38. “All my past partners miss being with me.”
Creating illusions of desirability.
Reply: “Everyone moves on from their past relationships in their own time and in their own way.”
39. “Don’t push me away; you’ll regret it!”
Turning the tables by making themselves the victim.
Reply: “Healthy relationships aren’t about potential regrets or threats.”
40. “When will you realize I am the best thing in your life?”
Putting themselves on a pedestal.
Reply: “Every aspect of my life contributes in its unique way, including our relationship.”
41. “You’re wrong, listen to what I’m saying…”
Dismissal of opinions that contradict theirs.
Reply: “Our conversation should be about understanding each other and not about who is wrong or right.”
42. “I find it hard to believe that…”
Questioning the authenticity of your feelings or actions.
Reply: “Your disbelief doesn’t mean I am wrong.”
43. “You would be nothing without me.”
Belief in absolute control and influence over your potential.
Reply: “Our worth is not dependent on each other.”
44. “The sooner you realize you’re at fault, the better.”
To ensure you feel submissive and dependent, they blame you for everything.
Reply: “Disagreements in the relationship are an opportunity for us to understand each other better.”
45. “I can’t believe you’re challenging my decisions again.”
Using dominance and gaslighting to manipulate and control you.
Reply: “Both of us need to have input in our decisions.”
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46. “Realize how insignificant you’d be without my help”
Trying to undermine your self-esteem and confidence.
Reply: “My worth and accomplishments are not defined by anyone else but me.”
47. “You should apologize for misunderstanding me.”
Playing the victim to escape blame or responsibility.
Reply: “Our understandings may differ sometimes, and that’s okay.”
48. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do that.”
Guilting and manipulating your actions to fit their narrative.
Reply: “Our love should allow us to be ourselves without fear of repercussion.”
49. “I only said it because I care about you.”
Using the guise of care to control or manipulate your behavior.
Reply: “We need to balance care with respect for boundaries.”
50. “You need to stop getting on my nerves.”
Victim-blaming you for their reactions or bad moods.
Reply: “Our feelings are our own responsibility to manage.”
51. “You have no idea how good I am for you.”
Constantly trying to assert their importance in your life.
Reply: “The quality of our relationship is determined by how we treat and respect each other.”
52. “You should take my advice because I am usually right.”
Showing an inability to admit being wrong.
Reply: “Each of our perspectives is equally important in making decisions.”
53. “It’s obvious I’m the successful one here.”
Comparison tactics designed to make you feel inferior.
Reply: “Success is subjective and different for each person.”
54. “Are you accusing me? You’re always creating problems.”
Accusing you to avoid accountability.
Reply: “Accusations aren’t always negative; they can lead to conversations that solve issues.”
55. “I was just joking. Why are you so sensitive?”
Covering up insults or derogatory comments as humor.
Reply: “My feelings should be respected.”
56. “I won’t apologize because I did nothing wrong.”
Refusing to apologize and belittling your feelings.
Reply: “Even if you don’t think you did something wrong, my feelings still need to be respected.”
57. “You’re being dramatic. It’s not a big deal.”
Dismiss your feelings and belittle your experiences
Reply: “What might seem minor to you could be very important to me.”
58. “Remember that time I saved your job?”
Bringing up past instances where they helped you to make you feel indebted.
Reply: “This doesn’t justify your disrespectful behavior.”
59. “Everyone thinks I’m right, why don’t you?”
Invoking opinions of others (which may not even be true) to validate their standpoints.
Reply: “We can have differing opinions and still respect each other.”
60. “I am not angry, you’re always misinterpreting me.”
Attempting to invalidate your judgment and understanding.
Reply: “How you express yourself influences how the message is received.”
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61. “I can’t believe you think I am wrong!”
Taking disagreement as a personal attack rather than a different opinion.
Reply: “We all have our perspectives based on our experiences.”
62. “You’re too sensitive, relax!”
Discrediting your feelings as an overreaction or hypersensitivity.
Reply: “My feelings are valid, you must respect that.”
63. “You always disappoint me.”
Bringing down your self-esteem and creating doubt in your abilities.
Reply: “I may not always meet your expectations, but that doesn’t mean I am disappointing.”
64. “I made this as clear as possible, why can’t you understand?”
Blaming their failure to communicate on your understanding capabilities.
Reply: “Effective communication requires a two-way effort.”
65. “You do nothing for us.”
Undermining all your actions and efforts.
Reply: “My efforts might look different than yours, but that doesn’t mean they’re non-existent.”
66. “Do not ruin my good mood.”
Threats aimed at silencing your feelings/problems.
Reply: “We can discuss our problems without them ruining anything.”
67. “I am better, remember that!”
Asserting their imaginary superiority,
Reply: “We each have different qualities that make us unique in our own way.”
68. “Thanks to me, your life is so much better now.”
Emphasizing their perceived savior role in your life.
Reply: “We both contribute positively to each other’s lives.”
69. ”Whatever happened is in the past, why do you cling to it?”
Ignorance towards past mistakes, attempting to avoid accountability.
Reply: “Past events have impacts and teachable moments that help us grow.”
70. “You never acknowledge all the good I’ve done for us.”
Focusing on their good deeds while ignoring any negative behavior.
Reply: “This doesn’t justify your behavior.”
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