You’ve finally found the love of your life, your partner in crime, your soulmate. You’ve been together for some time now, and everything seems to be going great.
You have your ups and downs, but overall, you’re both in a loving and committed relationship.
That is, until one day when your past suddenly rears its ugly head.
Perhaps through an old friend, a social media post, or just an unfortunate slip of the tongue, your boyfriend discovers your past – the one aspect of your life you hoped he would never find out about.
As he learns more about your previous relationships, he becomes increasingly disappointed or even disgusted.
It could be due to a variety of factors: the number of men you’ve slept with, how early you became intimately active, or the number of exes you’ve accumulated over the years.
Regardless of the reason, this revelation leaves both of you feeling hurt, betrayed, and confused.
At this point, you are probably wondering why is he so repulsed by your past.
Does he feel threatened, insecure, or thinks that any guy can get you to sleep with him?
These thoughts seem to circle endlessly in your head as you struggle with the reality that your partner is deeply disturbed by your past.
If this situation sounds all too familiar to you or someone you know, you’re in the right place.
In this post, we’ll take a look at some steps to help you navigate these treacherous waters and guide you toward rebuilding trust and understanding in your relationship.
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What to Do If My Boyfriend is Disgusted by My Past?
1. Stay calm
Take a deep breath and stay calm when discussing your past with your boyfriend.
It’s natural to feel hurt or upset by his reaction, but it’s important to maintain composure so you can communicate clearly and effectively.
By staying level-headed, you’ll have a better chance of resolving the issue and finding a way to move forward.
“I understand that you might be feeling upset or confused right now, but let’s discuss this so we can work through it together.”
2. Understand his feelings
Make sure that you listen to what your boyfriend has to say about his feelings toward your past.
It’s important to show him that you are taking his emotions seriously and that you respect his perspective.
“I know this might be difficult for you, but please let me know your concerns, so we can address them together.”
3. Talk about it
Remember to be sincere when explaining your past decisions, but also make sure to listen to what he has to say.
Through open communication, you both can gain a better understanding of each other’s perspective and find common ground.
“Let’s have an open conversation about my past. I want you to feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, and I’m here to listen and explain what really happened.”
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4. Give background information
When discussing your past, it’s helpful to provide some context about the choices you made.
This can help your boyfriend empathize with you and see things from your point of view, which might make it easier for him to come to terms with your past and reduce any negative feelings he may have about it.
“I think it’s important for you to know what led me to make those choices in my past, so we can better understand each other.”
5. Show how you’ve changed
People change over time, and it’s important to let your boyfriend know how much you’ve grown since that time.
Share with him the lessons that you have learned from those experiences, and explain how they have shaped the person you are today.
By showing that your past doesn’t define who you are now, he may be more willing to accept it and move on.
“I hope you can see how much I’ve evolved since those days, and my past experiences have only made me a stronger person.”
6. Reassure him about your relationship
It’s possible that your boyfriend might feel insecure or worried about your commitment due to your past.
Take the time to let him know how much he means to you and that you’re fully devoted to him.
“My previous experiences have taught me what’s truly important in a relationship, and I’m genuinely devoted to building a loving and lasting future with you.”
7. Address his insecurities
Your boyfriend might have some insecurities that are being triggered by your past.
Encourage him to share these feelings with you, and work together to find ways to reassure him and make him feel more secure.
“Let’s work through any concerns you might be feeling right now. Please share them with me, so we can address them together.”
8. Consider professional help
If talking about this issue becomes too overwhelming or difficult for either of you, it might be helpful to seek guidance from a relationship counselor.
A professional can offer support and advice on how to navigate these challenging conversations and provide an objective perspective for moving forward.
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9. Encourage empathy
Ask your boyfriend to try and put himself in your shoes, so he can better understand the reasons behind your past decisions.
By creating a sense of empathy, he may be more open to accepting your past experiences and become more supportive instead of blaming you.
“Please try to put yourself in my shoes, and understand why I made those decisions in my past.”
10. Give him time
Remember that despite all your efforts, your boyfriend may still need time to process everything and accept your past.
Give your boyfriend the space and time he needs to come to terms with your past, while also working together towards finding a resolution.
“I understand that you may need some time to process everything. Take the time you need, and let’s continue working on this together.”
11. Be kind to yourself
It’s important to remember that everyone has a past, and it’s through our experiences that we learn and grow.
Don’t let your boyfriend’s initial reaction make you doubt your self-worth or feel ashamed of your past.
12. Evaluate the situation
If, despite your best efforts, your boyfriend still struggles with accepting your past, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly working for you.
You deserve a partner who loves and accepts you for who you are – including your past experiences and mistakes.
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