Have you been single for far too long? Is it digging into your psyche the fact that it’s been months or years since you’ve made a connection with a girl? We’ve all experienced these lulls with relationships where it seems like we’ll never find another girlfriend. However, don’t let a lack of prospects get your hopes down. There is surely a girl out there for you just as surely as the sun rises every day.
It’s hard to stay upbeat and positive after searching for long periods of time for that special someone and depression can be a difficult condition to break loose from; however, there are ways to increase your chances of breaking free from this melancholic state and finding a companion who will bring happiness back into your life. Here is a list of four things to consider when coping with depressed thoughts about not being able to find the right girl for you.
- Talk About It With Your Friends and Family
People may scoff at the idea of openly discussing their insecurities with others, but keeping negative thoughts bottled up inside can become increasingly dangerous. It’s okay to express your sadness, and, in fact, it is healthy to express that sadness with words. We all need help dealing with these issues whether we want to admit it or not. The ones that try to cope with these matters internally, without the aid of friends and family, are those that often times revert to harmful activities, such as drugs and alcohol, to suppress their feelings of depression.
In saying this it is not meant that you should bring up how you can’t find a girlfriend at every family function, office happy hour, or get together with friends. Find a person or two, whether they be a family member, friend, or maybe even pastor at your church, who you trust and feel comfortable discussing personal issues with and use their lending ears as an outlet. You’ll be surprised how good it will feel to unload some of your personal burdens with those who love you.
- Go Out with Friends to Increase Your Chances of Meeting That Special Girl
The worst thing you can do if you’re depressed about being single is hole yourself up in your house and shut out the rest of the world. Sitting on a couch watching TV and listening to music will not bring that lucky lady into your life, and worst off, it is likely that the things you watch and the music you listen to will only deepen your depression. Every show and song will remind you of an ex-girlfriend or they’ll depict relationships that you wish you had. Either way, you need to get out of the house and search for fun activities to do with friends. These activities may or may not bring a woman into your life, but, by engaging in social activities, you’ll have less (or no time, hopefully) to dwell on why you can’t find a girlfriend.
- Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
It is easy to continue doing the things we feel comfortable doing because we feel comfortable doing them; fear or intimidation are not an issue. However, sometimes it is good to step out of our comfort zones and try something new. For example, maybe when you go out you never dance. You stand by and watch all the people enjoying themselves on the dance floor and you never had the courage to display your limited skills out of fear that you’d look ridiculous. Dance! Who cares if you look like a fish out of the water. This exercise is not about being good at something you have never been good at before, this exercise is about liberating yourself from fear.
Another example of stepping outside of your comfort zone is joining a dating website. It is one of the easiest ways to dive into the pool of thousands of available women. Yes, it might not feel natural to write the first message to the girl on a dating website but after a while, you will get used to it. The same goes for the first dates and asking girls out might feel intimidating but after you do it a few times you will start to feel more confident. Eharmony is a great place to start if you are ready to try online dating – Registration
You’ll notice when you learn to loosen up and are willing to try new things, your whole demeanor will change and women will sense that. They will wonder who is this guy who throws caution to the wind and enjoys having a good time. They will be attracted to that youthful, yet mysterious spirit that you are portraying to the world. Women are not looking for the same old same old. They want someone who will take them on an interesting journey. Show them that you are that guy!
- Take a Look in the Mirror
This last consideration is possibly the most important. It is crucial to understand that no woman wants to be with someone who will bring them down, whether spiritually, intellectually, or emotionally. So, take a look at yourself and ask this question: Would I want to date myself? If the answer is no, then you have to make some changes.
You must be self-critical of yourself. That isn’t to say that you need to hate yourself for your faults and misgivings, but you do need to be honest with why girls are not finding you attractive. Maybe you’re sending out a negative emotional vibe because you’re feeling depressed about being single for so long. People can be very sensitive to others feelings, and if a woman thinks you are emotionally unstable, it is unlikely she will want to engage in a relationship. Love who you are, and you can only do this by doing things that make you love yourself. When you do these things and learn to love yourself, you’ll see that you’ll have no shortage of prospects waiting to date you.
Conclusion: What to Do If You Are Depressed Because You Can’t Find a Girlfriend?
If you find yourself getting depressed because you’ve been searching for a girlfriend for a while and haven’t been able to make that special connection, remember that you are your own best advertisement. Love yourself and love the things you do; put joy into everything you engage in. Don’t hesitate to lean on friends and family in times of need, and step out of your comfort zone and explore who you are deep inside. Women will gravitate to those who are confident in themselves and who will take them on a memorable journey in life.