How to Write Online Dating Messages That Get Responses?


In the modern world of dating, writing effective messages on online dating sites is essential to make a good first impression on someone and to start a conversation. If you have messaged people before and not received a response, don’t be discouraged – cute men and women on dating sites get many messages a day, and if you do not spark their interest with a good opening line, you may not get a response.

The key to getting is responses – and the most difficult part of online dating – is having an awesome opener. Here we will discuss the types of opening lines that are most likely to garner a response, including clever questions, considerate reactions, and thoughtful compliments.

Spark their interest with a funny question

Did YOU know?

1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club

2) 38% of singles are using online dating

3) One in six marriages now begin online

When going through messages, a short and funny line is likely to catch someone’s attention the quickest. Some people may not be interested in having a deep conversation right from the start, so this is a great way to break the ice. In your message, give your interest a choice between two or three mundane objects or things – for example, you can say, “Pancakes or waffles?”, “Coffee or tea?”, or something like, “At the airport: magazines, books, or music?” Responding to this question is easy and fun – it does not require too much thought, and it prompts the other person to ask something similar in return. After this exchange, you can get around to introduce yourself formally and starting a more in-depth conversation.

When using this sort of line, be careful not to make your question too uncomfortable or sexual. People are unlikely to respond to something political in nature and definitely will not respond to something insensitive. In addition, writing something sexual will throw people off, even if they are looking for something casual. Saying something explicit or vulgar is much more likely to turn people away than it will interest them. It is always better to have a conversation before making any forward advances.

Be thoughtful

Another great opener can come from simply looking at their profile and finding something that you can comment on or ask them about. For example, if they have several pictures of them hiking, you can ask, “Where’s the most exciting place you’ve ever hiked?” If their profile says they have a wonderful puppy named Max, say something like, “How old is Max? He looks adorable!” When you show that you have a genuine interest in who they are and what they love, people will be more likely to respond. After all, everyone likes talking about the things they love – why not encourage them to do so?

If you and the person you want to message have any similar interests, you can also mention this in your opener. Consider saying something like, “Hey, it looks like both of us are really into Wes Anderson movies! I’d love to meet you to talk about it. Would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime?” An honest and genuine message like this can make someone feel like you really took the time to look at their profile and that you are actually interested in who they are. This is much more likely to get a response, especially if you have similar interests.

Tell them what you think

If you’ve looked through someone’s profile and think they are interesting, tell them! If you are amazed by their dedication to their family, inspired by their ambition, or in awe of their goals, let them know. Everyone loves to hear that other people find them fascinating and showing them that you have looked at their profile to find out who they are, tells them that you care.

However, be careful to avoid making judgments based purely on physical characteristics. Surveys have found that women are less likely to respond to a message if it only compliments her physical appearance than if it compliments personality traits. It is easy to see if someone is pretty based on photos – taking the time to figure out the things someone loves and who they show a deeper commitment, which is more likely to garner you a response.

Next time you are about to message someone on an online dating site, consider these three openers: ask them a clever question, show interest in what interests them, and compliment them on who they really are. Most importantly, do not be afraid to be genuine and tell people what you really want to say. Even if it seems intimidating, have confidence in yourself – you never know what could come out of a funny question or an honest compliment. After you learned how to write great messages, try to use your new learned skills at to get more phone numbers and dates! Find Singles Near You for FREE