So you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and things are going great.
You’re spending a lot of time together, he’s introducing you to his friends or even family, and you’re pretty sure things are headed in the right direction.
But as soon as you try to talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend he pulls away and tells you something like “I am not ready yet“, “Let’s take things slow” or “I need more time“.
So, why would he keep you around if he doesn’t want a relationship with you?
Well, there are actually a lot of reasons why guys might continue spending time with you even if they are not planning to be your boyfriend.
Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?
1. He is Afraid of Being Alone
Some men will keep you around, even if they are not interested in a relationship just because they enjoy your company and don’t want to be alone.
This is common among guys that don’t have too many friends or lack social skills.
2. He is Comfortable Around You
He knows what to expect when he is with you. He doesn’t have to worry about putting on a show or trying to be someone he’s not.
He can just be himself, and you are basically his friend and not a lover.
People, in general, like to be around someone who makes them feel good and that’s the reason why he keeps you around.
3. He is Scared of Commitment
If the guy was hurt in the past by his ex, he might be hesitant to commit again.
He might prefer to take things slow and keep everything casual to avoid any drama.
Show him that you are not like his ex and he has nothing to worry about if he decides to date you.
It might also be a good idea to start as friends before taking things to the next level.
4. He Only Likes to Sleep With You
Some men might keep a girl around because they find her attractive and enjoy sleeping with her but are not interested in getting any more serious than that.
If you are always available and allow the guy to get intimate with you whenever he wants, you are basically his friend with benefits.
There is no reason for him to date you becasue he is already getting everything he wants from you.
If you are not interested in this physical type of relationship, stop sleeping with a guy until he agrees to be exclusive with you.
5. He is Using You
There are men who will use women for their own personal gain.
These types of guys don’t want a relationship with you, but they will use you for money, connections, or to get closer to someone else.
If you are always paying for the guy, helping him with his work, or doing anything else for him without getting anything back in return it might be the reason why he keeps you around.
6. He is Not Ready for a Relationship
There are many reasons why a guy might not be ready for a relationship.
Maybe he is focusing on his career or school, wants to have more fun before settling down, or is just not mature enough.
No matter what the reason, it is usually not a good idea to wait for him becasue by the time he is ready he might meet someone else.
7. He is Not Over His Ex
If the guy is still in love with his ex-girlfriend or is trying to get over her, he might take some time before jumping into another relationship.
You have to be careful dating a guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend becasue he might be looking for a rebound so that he can move on instead of an actual relationship.
8. He is Not Attracted to You
You may be a great person, but if he is not physically attracted to you it is unlikely that he will date you.
He might still like you as a friend and might spend time with you but he is not looking for anything more than that.
9. He Doesn’t Want to Hurt Your Feelings
Some guys might keep you around even if they are not interested in dating you to avoid hurting your feelings.
They may try to hint that they are not interested but it is very easy to miss those signals when you have a crush on someone.
10. He is Not Sure What He Wants
Some men may not be sure what they want and may keep you around as a backup option until they figure it out.
They may like you and want to spend time with you but are not ready for any type of commitment either becasue they are afraid to lose their freedoms or are not sure if you are the one.
11. He is Not Single
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but it is possible that your crush is actually already seeing someone else and that’s why he is not interested in dating you.
If you don’t know much about the guy and only hang out with him at work or school this can be a reason.
12. He Prefers Men
There is always a chance that your crush is actually not interested in women and that’s why he doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.
He may still like you as a friend but will avoid getting intimate with you.
This can be especially frustrating if the guy is keeping his orientation a secret.
13. He is a Player
He keeps you around because you are a challenge for him and he likes the attention he gets but he is not interested in any type of commitment.
Players will usually act hot and cold towards a woman so if you notice this type of behavior this can be a sign that a guy is a player.
You will also likely see him flirting with a lot of other girls besides you.
14. He Doesn’t Want You to Date Other Men
If the guy is not sure what he wants to do with you, he may try to keep you around to prevent you from seeing other men until he makes up his mind.
This can be quite frustrating especially if the guy acts like your boyfriend but doesn’t want to commit to you.
Read more: 17 Biggest Turn Offs For Guys
Now that you have a better idea of why the guy you are seeing doesn’t want to date you, let’s take a look at what should you do next.
What to Do If He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?
There are a few things you can do if the guy you’re interested in doesn’t want a relationship.
You can give him more time to figure out what he wants or you can just move on and start focusing on other guys.
It is okay to take things slow and allow the guy to move at a pace that is comfortable for him but you also don’t want to be his backup option.
Lastly, instead of burning bridges, you can always just stay as friends.
Continue reading: What to Do If He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?