23 Ways to Fake Drunk Text Your Crush

Do you want to text your crush but find yourself clutching your phone, heart pounding, fingers paralyzed? Maybe you’ve even drafted a dozen messages only to delete them all without sending them.

Oh, the struggle! We’ve all been there. It’s like wanting to jump off the high cliff. You want to make a move, but you’re scared of the outcome.

One solution is to send him or her a fake drunk text so that if things go south you can blame it on too many drinks.

A faux-tipsy message might just be the key to breaking the ice without fully putting yourself on the line.

But now, you’re stuck in a new dilemma: what do you even say in your fake drunk text?

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Don’t miss: 100 Examples of How to Text Your Crush Without Being Boring

How to Fake Drunk Text Your Crush?

1. The Random Compliment

  • “Heyyy, you know what? You have the best eyebrows. Like, seriously. Why didn’t I notice before?”
  • “Your hair always looks so… I dunno, movie-star-ish?”
  • “Is it weird to say you have nice hands? Oops.”

2. Old Song Reference

  • “Dude, is it just me or does ‘Wonderwall’ totally make you think of…you?”
  • “Every time I hear ‘Sweet Caroline’, I kinda think of you. Dunno why!”
  • “‘I Will Always Love You’… Wait, did I just sing that out loud?”

3. The Misplaced Emoji

  • “Had fun last time we hung out πŸ˜‚πŸ† Wait, wrong emoji. Oops!”
  • “Can’t wait to see your πŸ† Uh, wrong emoji. My bad!”
  • “You’re a gem 🌭 Wait, not a hotdog. I meant πŸ’Ž!”

4. The Random Thought

  • “Do penguins have knees? Also, miss you.”
  • “If I were a fruit, I’d be a pineapple. What about you?”
  • “Ever wonder why ducks don’t get cold feet? You probably don’t. Anyway…”

5. The β€œDid I Say That?”

  • “I think you’re cute. Wait, did I just text that? Oops!”
  • “I always smile when I see you. Did I just admit that?”
  • “You’re kinda hot. Did I think that or text it? Oops.”

6. Direct but Distracted

  • “I kinda like you. Ooh, look at a squirrel in this picture!”
  • “I’ve been thinking…you’re kind of…oh hey, just remembered about our test on Monday”
  • “Every time I see you, I’m like…wait, did I leave the oven on?”
  • “Can’t get you out of my mind, but also…is that ice cream?”

7. Odd Compliment

  • “You’re like a potato, in a good way.”
  • “You remind me of a well-baked cookie. Warm and sweet.”
  • “You’re the marshmallow in my hot chocolate.”
  • “If life was a sandwich, you’d be the fancy mayo.”

Don’t miss: 150 Freaky & Flirty Questions to Ask Your Crush

8. Confused Compliment

  • “You smell nice. Wait, have I ever smelled you? Idk.”
  • “You’re like sunshine on a cloudy day. Or was it rainy? Hmm…”
  • “Your laugh is infectious. Or was it contagious? Either way, it’s good!”

9. The “Oops, Wrong Person”

  • “You looked cute today… Oh, wait, wrong chat!”
  • “Your new haircut is fire. My bad, wrong person!”
  • “Thanks for the advice earlier. Oops, thought you were my therapist!”
  • “Remember our secret handshake? Wrong chat, but we should have one!”
  • “You owe me $5. Wait, the wrong person, but if you’re feeling generous…”

10. The Foodie Flirt

  • “You and pizza. My two faves. In no particular order.”
  • “You and fries. Perfectly salty and sweet.”
  • “If you were a dessert, you’d be a cheesecake. Rich and delightful.”
  • “You’re the cherry on top of my sundae.”
  • “If relationships were food, I’d pair us like wine and cheese.”
  • “You and spaghetti. I’d never fork-get you.”

11. The Double Take

  • “Why are you so awesome? Wait, did I ask that already?”
  • “Have I told you how cool you are? Wait, I did? Oops!”
  • “Did I mention you have great taste in music? Or was it movies?”
  • “I think you’re brilliant. Deja vu, have I said that before?”

12. The Geeky Flirt

  • “If we were in a game, I’d definitely pick you as my player two.”
  • “If life was an RPG, I’d want you in my party.”

13. Twisted Lyrics

  • “Shine bright like you, not a diamond. Rihanna got it wrong.”
  • “Like a bridge over troubled water…you’re kinda neat.”
  • “You got that James Dean daydream look in your…wait, wrong song?”
  • “You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off your…hat.”

Don’t miss: 50 Best Ways To Tell Someone You Like Them Without Saying It

14. The Dreamy Text

  • “Had a dream about you. You were…wearing nothing…”
  • “Dreamt of you. We were flying on a magic carpet. Aladdin style.”
  • “Had this dream where you and I were partners on a game show. We won, by the way!”
  • “You were in my dream last night, teaching me to salsa. Got moves?”
  • “Dreamt of you. We were in space, probably because you’re out of this world.”

15. Late Night Wonder

  • “Hey, are you awake? Wanted to say…hey. Yup, just hey.”
  • “It’s late, and I’m thinking of…did we have homework?”
  • “Night owl? Or just another insomniac like me?”
  • “Hey, late-night snack buddy! Whatcha craving?”

16. The Throwback

  • “Remember that time in 3rd grade? Me neither. Just making conversation.”
  • “Remember that time we tried to bake and set off the smoke alarm?”
  • “Throwback to when you tried to teach me that dance move. Still a disaster.”
  • “Hey, remember our failed camping trip? Good times.”
  • “Remember when you spilled juice all over in 5th grade? “

17. GIF

  • Send a quirky gif with “Reminded me of you…in the best way.”
  • Send a dancing baby GIF with “This is my mood when I think of you.”
  • Send a facepalm GIF with “Me, every time I try to be smooth.”
  • Send a heart-eyes cat GIF with “When I see your messages pop up.”
  • Send a fireworks GIF with “Every time you walk into a room.”

18. Unexpected Compliment

  • “Your voice is like melted chocolate. Smooth and… chocolaty?”
  • “Your sneezes are kinda cute. Is that weird?”
  • “Your posture is impressive. Like, ballroom dancer level.”

19. The Overthinker

  • “Was gonna send a cool text, but I overthought it. So, hi.”
  • “Wanted to send a meme, but spent an hour choosing. So…how’s your day?”
  • “Drafted this text five times. Sixth time’s the charm?”
  • “Thought of a joke to tell you. Then overanalyzed if it was funny. It’s gone now.”

20. Emoji Overload

  • “You’re amazing πŸ˜πŸŽ‰πŸ’ƒπŸš€πŸ•”
  • “Feeling grateful for you πŸ™πŸŒŸπŸ₯°πŸŒˆπŸŽˆ”
  • “Your jokes always crack me up πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€ͺ🀑🎭”
  • “Always a blast with you πŸ’₯πŸš€πŸ’ƒπŸ•ΊπŸŽ‰”

21. The Sudden Exit

  • “Wanted to say something. Got shy. Bye!”
  • “Had this whole text planned out. Chickened out. Ttyl!”
  • “Had a question, but…oh look, a distraction! Cya.”

22. Nostalgia Hit

  • “Miss our old-school Mario Kart battles.”
  • “Missing our epic karaoke nights.”
  • “Craving those summer beach days with you.”
  • “Wish we could rewind to that epic road trip.”
  • “Wishing for more nights like that one under the stars.”

23. Straightforward

  • “I think you’re cool. Too tipsy to lie. But also, not drunk. Complicated, I know.”
  • “Being upfront here. I enjoy our chats. Drunk or sober.”
  • “Might be the wine talking, or just me, but you’re awesome.”
  • “Honestly, I think we vibe well. Tipsy or not.”

Read next: 150 Sassy and Flirty Texts to Send to Your Crush

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