So, you’ve met someone online. They seem to have everything you’ve been looking for in a partner.
An intoxicating allure that makes you feel special. Every conversation feels like something out of a romance novel.
The charm, the smooth talk, the sweet nothings, everything seems picture-perfect. You feel seen, heard, and valued.
Maybe you even think this could be ‘the one’.
But, amid this whirlwind romance, there’s a nagging sensation at the back of your mind.
Something just doesn’t feel right. Could it be your nerves acting up? Is it the fear of falling too hard, too fast?
Or is it something more sinister – could you be chatting with a romance scammer?
The idea may sound ludicrous at first. Who would go to such lengths? But remember, the world is full of people who exploit vulnerability and seek profit over empathy.
Scammers are skilled at manipulating emotions and have a seemingly perfect persona used to sweep you off your feet right before they sweep your account clean.
So how can you tell if you’re falling for a real person or a scam?
How To Outsmart a Romance Scammer
Examples of Romance Scammer Phrases
1. “I fell in love with you at first sight”: Scammers often use phrases like this to make you believe they have real feelings for you.
2. “You’re my soul mate”: Expressing deep affection early in the relationship is a common tactic used by scammers to win your trust.
3. “I’ve never felt this way before”: This is used to make you feel special and unique and, therefore more likely to fall for their scam.
4. “You’re the only one who understands me”: Scammers use phrases like this to isolate you.
5. “I need your help”: This phrase is often the precursor to asking for money, gifts, or personal information.
6. “Could you do me a favor?”: A subtle way scammers start asking for your help to pave the path for bigger requests later.
7. “I promise I’ll pay you back”: Scammers may promise repayment to make their request for money seem temporary.
8. “I’m in a difficult situation”: By sharing their supposed hardships, scammers inspire sympathy to manipulate your emotions.
9. “I have a business opportunity for us”: This phrase could be used to add a sense of legitimacy to their request for money.
10. “I can’t wait to be with you, but…”: Any phrase followed by a ‘but’ might be a way to lead into a tale designed to elicit sympathy or financial help.
11. “I’m working overseas”: This gives a plausible reason for significant time differences and limitations in communication.
12. “I’m serving in the military”: Scammers use this excuse to explain why they can’t meet you in person.
13. “My camera doesn’t work”: An excuse often used for not being able to video call, preventing you from confirming their identity.
14. “My child is sick”: A way to elicit sympathy and potentially request financial help.
15. “I’m about to inherit a large sum of money”: This line is often used as bait; they will ask for a small financial help now in return for a large sum later.
16. “I can’t access my bank account”: This gives them a believable reason to ask for financial help.
17. “I have a lucrative business but need an investment”: This appeals to your financial interest and can be used for large-scale scams.
18. “I’ve been robbed or attacked”: A scenario that creates urgency and appeals to your sympathy.
19. “I’ll visit you soon”: Scammers say this to give hope of an in-person meeting that never happens.
20. “You’re my only hope”: This phrase is designed to make you feel responsible for their well-being.
21. “I am a widow/widower”: This aims to gain your sympathy by exploiting your compassionate side.
22. “I dreamt about us last night”: Scammers use phrases like this to establish emotional intimacy.
23. “I will be deported if I don’t get financial support”: This phrase creates urgency and prompts immediate monetary assistance.
24. “I am stuck at customs”: A common phrase used to justify requesting money to clear their goods or themselves from customs.
25. “Your love is what keeps me going”: Manipulative phrases like this make you feel guilty for not helping out.
Don’t miss: 11 Guys to Avoid When Dating Online
26. “I lost my job recently”: A trick to get you to offer financial support out of empathy.
27. “The internet here is bad”: An excuse used to justify poor quality photos, videos, or frequent disconnections during chats.
28. “I’m an engineer on an oil rig”: This type of high-profile job makes the scammer seem more attractive while explaining why they can’t meet or why they might need money.
29. “I was cheated on in my previous relationship”: This sob story could be used to earn your sympathy and trust.
30. “My wife/husband passed away tragically”: A narrative like this serves to gain your sympathy and make you feel obligated to help.
31. “I don’t trust the banks”: Scammers use this phrase to explain why they need to use unconventional methods for money transactions.
32. “You are my queen/king”: Over-the-top flattery is a common strategy to make you feel special.
33. “My hotel manager is treating me badly because I can’t pay the bills”: An example of a crisis scenario created to ask for financial help.
34. “I’m having trouble with my agent”: A false predicament created to give a believable reason to ask for money.
35. “No one has ever treated me the way you do”: This phrase is designed to make you feel unique and exceptional.
36. “My visa or plane ticket has been denied”: A common excuse for needing immediate financial assistance.
37. “I am not like other men/women”: This vague statement could be used to defend any unusual requests or behavior.
38. “I am involved in charity work”: Scammers use this line to seem selfless and caring, making you trust them more.
39. “I will delete my dating profile since I found you”: Scammers claim this to make you feel special and intensify the relationship quickly.
40. “Our stars are aligned”: Statements like this are designed to make the relationship feel destined or fated.
41. “Can you send the money via…”: Direct requests for certain types of payment can indicate a scam, especially if they ask for untraceable methods like wire transfers, cryptocurrency, or gift cards.
42. “I don’t want anyone else but you”: A manipulative phrase intended to make you feel special and loved.
43. “I was hoping you could loan me some money”: Direct requests for a loan are a big red flag.
44. “The doctor won’t proceed with the treatment until we pay”: Specific scenarios designed to create urgency and prompt immediate financial help.
45. “I’ve been praying for someone like you”: Spiritual language can be used to build trust and make the relationship feel destined.
46. “I am working on a top-secret project”: Vague but impressive-sounding projects can make the scammer seem more legitimate while explaining their need for secrecy or money.
47. “My internet connection will soon be disconnected”: By saying this, scammers try to justify why they might suddenly disappear (often after receiving money).
48. “Your voice was so sweet, it melted my heart”: Flattering comments can make you feel more connected to them.
49. “I am from a royal family”: Impressive claims like this can make the scammer seem more attractive, but they can also be used as a reason for needing money (to access their inheritance, for example).
50. “My lawyer says I have to pay fees to access my funds”: This is another invented scenario designed to justify asking for financial help.
Don’t miss: Why Do Guys on Dating Apps Want to Meet Up So Soon?
How Long Does it Take a Scammer to Ask for Money?
Some scammers might play the long game, others may rush in for a quick score. However, there are patterns to their ploys.
In many cases, scammers take their time. They create an elaborate web of trust and affection, sometimes over weeks or even months.
They make sure their bait is so enticing that their potential victims are deeply emotionally invested. Once they sense that the victim is committed, they spring their trap.
You might find them spinning tales of sudden emergencies – a sick relative, a stolen wallet, or a stranded situation.
They insist that they wouldn’t have asked if they had any other choice. In some cases, they might even ‘return’ the favor with an extravagant gift, which later turns out to be a fraud.
Another common trick is to make plans to visit you but claims they’ve suddenly found themselves short on travel funds.
They’ll reassure you it’s just a loan and that they’ll repay you as soon as they get back on their feet.
The key takeaway here is not just about the timing but the entire setup leading to the money question.
Keep in mind that most people don’t rush into professions of love and neither do they ask for financial help from someone they barely know.
Don’t miss: 10 Red Flags Before The First Date
Questions to Ask a Romance Scammer
Being aware and prepared can make all the difference in keeping your heart and your finances safe.
So let’s take a look at some questions you can ask your online crush to figure out if you’re dealing with a real person or a scammer.
These questions can disrupt the scammer’s narrative and might just save you from an emotional and financial fiasco.
- What’s your full name?
- Where exactly do you live? How long have you lived there?
- Can we video call?
- Can you share some photos from your daily life?
- What is your job?
- Can you connect on LinkedIn?
- Tell me more about your family.
- Do you have any close local friends?
- What do you do in your free time?
- Where did you go to school?
- Describe your usual weekday.
- What is your favorite local restaurant?
- What’s your favorite place in your town/city?
- Can we meet in person?
- Have you ever been married?
- Do you have any children?
- What was the last vacation you took? Do you have any photos?
- What’s the most challenging part of your job?
- What was your first job like?
- What’s your favorite local radio station?
- Where do you usually grocery shop?
- What’s the name of your street and how does it look?
- Have you participated in any community events?
- What’s the story behind your email address or username?
- What’s your usual morning routine?
- What’s your go-to local coffee shop or bakery, and why?
- Can you share a picture of your workspace?
- What current project are you working on at your job?
- Can you describe your drive to work?
- Can you share a picture with your pet (if they said they have one)?
- What local sports team do you support and why?
- What’s the view like from your window?
- What’s the name of your boss at work?
- Can we exchange social media profiles?
- Can you describe the interior of your house?
- Who was your first crush and how did it end?
- What was your favorite subject in college and why?
- What’s your typical lunch on a workday?
- Can we have a video call right now?
Read next: 13 Ways to Tell If Someone is Real or Not on a Dating Site
