Is It Wrong to Date Someone 20 Years Younger? (Pros and Cons)

Is it weird or wrong to date someone 10 or 20 years younger or is it all in our heads?

The simple answer is no, it’s not wrong to date someone much younger as long as you are both of legal age.

Age gaps are actually pretty common, especially for older couples.

As you get older, fewer and fewer people will care that your boyfriend or girlfriend is younger than you.

No one will be shocked if they find out that you are 70 and your wife is 50.

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If however you are 40 and she is 20, you might get quite a different reaction but even, in this case, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your relationship as long as you are both happy.

You may also find that different cultures have different views and rules when it comes to age gaps.

In some cultures, it’s perfectly normal to date someone 20 years younger while in others it might be seen as taboo.

Ultimately, it all comes down to what works for you and your partner. If you’re in a happy relationship, then that’s all that matters.

However, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t any challenges with dating someone much younger, especially if one of you is still in your twenties.

So before falling in love with someone 20 years younger it is a good idea to take a look at all the pros and cons.

Don’t miss: 15 Things That Attract A Younger Woman To An Older Man

Pros and Cons of Dating Someone 20 Years Younger

Advantages of Dating Someone Much Younger

It is More Fun

Dating someone 20 years younger is often a lot of fun. They are energetic and active and can bring a new spark into your mundane life.

You may even start to feel younger and more alive yourself just by having a younger boyfriend or girlfriend.

Fewer Expectations

Younger people are less likely to want marriage and kids right away. This can be great news if you aren’t ready or don’t want to settle down yet.

It gives you time to focus on other aspects of the relationship without pressure or stress about where it might all eventually lead.

They Have Less Baggage

When we are younger, we don’t have the same responsibilities or baggage that comes with age such as children from a previous relationship, exes, or health worries.

They are More Open-minded

One of the best things about dating someone 20 years younger is that they are more open-minded than older folks.

They will be more willing to try new things with you, whether it’s a new restaurant, food, or hobby.

They are More Active

Need someone to go rock climbing with? How about hitting the gym before going out for drinks?

If you are looking for someone who can keep up with your active lifestyle, then dating someone younger might be the right choice for you.

They are More Enthusiastic About Life

A twenty-something has a lot more energy and enthusiasm for life than someone twice her age.

If you’re looking for an adventurous partner, dating a younger woman is the way to go.

She still gets excited about new things and experiences instead of rolling her eyes at everything.

You Will Feel Younger

No matter how old you get, part of you will still feel like an eternal teenager – so why not date someone who reminds you of those carefree days?

Don’t miss: 11 Things to Know When Dating a Younger Man in Your 40s

Disadvantages of Dating Someone Much Younger

People Will Make Assumptions

If there is a significant age gap between you two, people will assume that your girlfriend is only dating you because of money – especially if she’s still in her early twenties.

You May Not Have Much in Common

If you’re at very different stages in your life, it can be difficult to find things to bond over.

She might still be figuring out her career while you are probably thinking of retirement.

She might be interested in going out and partying all night long while you might prefer to stay home and relax.

It’s not impossible to overcome these differences, but it will take some effort and patience from both sides.

Awkward Situations

You’ll have to deal with the awkwardness that comes from people making jokes and assumptions about your relationship.

Even if you don’t care what other people think your partner might and this can create some tension and arguments.

Friends and Family Might Not Approve

Even if you’re comfortable with the age difference, your friends and family might not.

This can put a strain on your relationship and make it difficult to enjoy time together with the people you know.


Your younger partner may feel insecure about their place in your life because of the age difference between you two.

They may worry that they are nothing more than a fling and that you will eventually get tired of them and will find someone your own age.

You may have your own worries about your younger partner losing interest in you and falling in love with someone much younger and attractive.

All these fears and doubts can create tension and arguments if not addressed on time.

Power Imbalance

An older person dating someone much younger comes with its share of power dynamics that could potentially turn into control issues later down the line.

If one person has significantly more life experience, it can be easy for them to fall into a “parent” role within the relationship.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s something that should be discussed in order to avoid any potential conflicts down the road.

Financial Issues

An older more financially secure partner might find themselves paying all the bills or even financially supporting their younger partner.

This can put a strain on your financial situation or even create resentment towards your younger partner.

Read next: What Attracts an Older Man to a Younger Woman?

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