By the time you hit 30, you’ve likely already accomplished a lot of your major life’s goals: established a successful career, bought your own place, traveled around, and probably made a few long-lasting friendships.
You also probably dated around a bit in your twenties and by now have a pretty good idea of what you want (and don’t want) in a guy.
So why do many women in their thirties find themselves struggling with finding a long-term partner?
One of the main reasons is that many of us are simply too busy to date.
We’re juggling demanding careers, active social lives, and maybe even a few side hustles.
While we’re happy with our accomplishments, all this success can come at the expense of our personal lives.
It’s easy to let your love life take a backseat when you’re focused on other things.
But even if you do have time to date, it’s not always easy to meet someone special.
Sure, you can go to bars or clubs, or you can swipe left and right on Tinder but if you’re looking for something more serious, it can take time.
And when you do find someone, it’s not always smooth sailing. Relationships take work, and sometimes they don’t work out despite your best efforts.
So it’s no wonder, then, that so many women feel discouraged when it comes to dating in their thirties.
But here’s the thing: dating in your thirties doesn’t have to be a nightmare.
With a little effort and the right attitude, you can find the man of your dreams and finally start enjoying the happy, fulfilling relationship you deserve as long as you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone and take a few risks.
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Tips for Dating in Your 30s As a Woman
1. Get Clear on What You Want
The first step to finding the right man is to know what you’re looking for.
What qualities are non-negotiable and which ones are more flexible?
What kind of relationship are you looking for: something casual or more long-term?
Once you have a good understanding of your must-haves and deal breakers, it will be much easier to weed out the wrong type of guys and zero in on the right ones.
2. Don’t be Afraid to Put Yourself Out There
One of the biggest mistakes women make when dating in their thirties is waiting for men to approach them.
In your 30s, it’s perfectly acceptable (and even encouraged!) for you to make the first move.
If you want to find someone special, you need to take matters into your own hands.
Go to singles events, join online dating apps, or say yes to that blind date your best friend keeps trying to set you up on.
The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone who ticks all your boxes.
3. Don’t Take Rejections Personally
If you’re putting yourself out there and meeting new people, you’re bound to experience some rejections along the way.
It’s important not to take it personally and to remember that just because one guy doesn’t want to date you, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
Keep your chin up and keep going until you find someone who wants the same things as you do.
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4. Be Open to New Experiences
Your thirties are a great time to try new things and expand your horizons.
If you’ve always wanted to learn how to ballroom dance or play tennis, now is the time to do it.
Not only will you meet new people, but you might just find yourself a man who shares your interests.
5. Don’t Focus on Finding the “Perfect” Guy
One of the hardest things about dating in your thirties is that you often have more specific requirements for a partner than you did in your twenties.
However, it’s important not to get too caught up in finding someone who meets all of your criteria.
If you spend all your time looking for someone who’s tall, handsome, and successful, you might miss out on meeting an amazing guy who doesn’t quite fit that description but is perfect for you in every other way.
6. Get Rid of Your Fears
Maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt again or you’re worried that you won’t find anyone at all.
It’s important to get rid of these negative thoughts if you want to have a successful dating experience. Replace your fears with positive affirmations and tell yourself that you are worthy of finding love.
When you have a positive mindset, you’ll be much more likely to attract the right man into your life.
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7. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to your friends who are in relationships or married with kids.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different and there is no “right” time to find love.
Instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, focus on your own happiness and what you want for your future.
8. Be Patient
If you want to find lasting love in your thirties, it’s important to be patient.
Don’t get discouraged if your first few dates don’t go as planned or if you don’t find instant chemistry with someone.
It can take time to find the right guy, so don’t give up too easily.
9. Don’t Settle Right Away
One of the biggest dangers of dating in your thirties is settling for someone who doesn’t really meet your needs just because you’re afraid you won’t find anyone better.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your relationship.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve just because you’re afraid of being single.
10. Get Rid of Your Preconceptions
If you’re having trouble finding love in your thirties, it might be because you’re holding onto some outdated ideas about dating.
Maybe you think that all the good men are taken, or that dating in your thirties is somehow different (and harder) than it was in your twenties.
But the truth is that there are still plenty of great guys out there, and the dating game doesn’t have to be so complicated.
Just let go of your preconceptions, open your mind and heart, and you may just find that special someone a lot sooner than you think.
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11. Make It Easy for Men to Approach You
If you want to attract the right man, you need to make it easy for him to approach you.
Stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile when you meet someone new.
These small actions will signal to others that you are friendly and approachable, which will make them more likely to want to get to know you.
12. Be Willing to Compromise
When you’re dating in your thirties, it’s important to be open to compromise.
You might have a list of must-haves and deal breakers, but it’s important to remember that you’re not going to find someone who ticks every single box.
Be willing to compromise on some of your “requirements” and you’ll be more likely to find someone who you can really connect with.
13. Be Open to Different Types of Men
One of the great things about dating in your 30s is that you’re no longer limited to only dating guys your own age.
You now have the opportunity to date older men, younger guys, or men who are somewhere in between.
So don’t rule anyone out just because they’re not exactly your usual type.
14. Don’t Talk About Having Kids on the First Date
There is nothing more attractive than a woman who is confident and has her life together.
One way to exude confidence is to know what you want and not settle for anything less.
That being said, don’t bring up the topic of having kids on the first date.
It’s not only premature but can also be a major turn-off for some men.
If he knows right off the bat that you’re looking to settle down and have a family as soon as possible, he may start to feel pressured and might back off.
15. Don’t Play Games
If you want a serious relationship, then you need to ditch the games.
No more playing hard to get or stringing him along just for fun. Be upfront about what you want and be honest with your feelings.
This doesn’t mean that you need to share your life story on the first date, but don’t hide your true intentions.
16. Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
When it comes to dating in your 30s, it’s important not to take things too seriously. Remember, this is supposed to be fun!
So if a date doesn’t go well, or you don’t feel a spark, don’t get too upset. Just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.
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