It can be both shocking and painful when the person you love and trust the most calls you fat or chubby.
You try to laugh it off, but deep down, something stirs uncomfortably. You’ve always had a complex relationship with your body and his words have hit where it hurts the most.
Suddenly, you find yourself questioning everything – his love for you, your self-worth, and your body image.
Why would he say something like that? Does he no longer find you attractive? Are you not good enough for him?
His comment about your weight may have been unintentional from his side, but it has left an indelible mark on you.
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It’s tough to shake off such comments and not let them affect your self-esteem.
So what do you do when your boyfriend calls you fat? How do you handle such a situation?
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What To Do When Your Boyfriend (or Crush) Calls You Fat or Chubby?
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? When someone says something hurtful, our first instinct is often to brush it off, to hide our hurt behind a brave face.
But let me tell you, it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re hurting. It’s completely normal to feel anger, hurt, or shock.
Let yourself sit with these feelings for a while. Tell yourself, “I am allowed to feel upset. It was a hurtful comment.”
2. Take a Moment to Calm Down
I know it might be tempting to react right away and let your emotions guide your actions but trust me, taking a moment to reflect can make all the difference.
Consider his intentions behind calling you fat. Was it intended as a joke or was there more to it?
Ask yourself, “Was he being careless with his words or was there a hidden intent?”
3. Talk to Him
After you’ve taken some time to process your thoughts and emotions, find a quiet moment to sit down with your boyfriend and share your feelings.
Tell him, “I felt hurt when you called me fat,” to avoid sounding confrontational and to ensure your feelings are heard and understood.
4. Ask Him Why He Said It
This might be hard. But remember, understanding is the first step toward resolution. By asking him why he said it, you’re not just seeking an explanation, but also giving him a chance to reflect on his actions.
This could be the wake-up call he needs to realize that his words were hurtful and inappropriate. You might say something like, “Can you help me understand what made you say that?”
5. Stand Up for Yourself
This one is crucial. Respect should be the cornerstone of any relationship. No one has the right to belittle or shame you, not even your boyfriend or your crush.
Stand your ground and let him know loud and clear that body shaming is unacceptable. Tell him firmly yet respectfully, “I won’t accept being body-shamed.”
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6. Evaluate Your Relationship
If body shaming becomes a recurring issue despite addressing it, it’s time for some serious reflection on your relationship.
A relationship should uplift you and bring out the best in you. It should provide comfort and support during hard times, not add to your burdens.
If you find that your self-esteem is taking a hit because of your boyfriend’s remarks about your appearance, then it may be time to question whether this relationship is truly beneficial to you.
7. Educate Him
If he shows remorse and is willing to learn from his mistake, use this as an opportunity to educate him about body shaming and its harmful effects.
Many people don’t fully grasp the impact of their words until someone points it out.
If he’s open to learning, explain to him why body shaming is never okay.
8. Question His Motives
If he continues making hurtful comments despite discussing them with him, you need to question his motives. Is he trying to belittle you, control you?
Constantly hurtful behavior isn’t just impolite; it’s a red flag for emotional abuse.
It’s important not just for the health of your relationship but also for your own well-being that you recognize these signs early on.
9. Know When to Walk Away
Lastly, remember that there’s no shame in walking away from a relationship that consistently causes you pain or distress.
You deserve someone who respects and loves you unconditionally for who you are.
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Examples of How to Respond When Your Boyfriend Calls You Fat
- “I feel hurt when you say things like that.”
- “Can you explain why you said that?”
- “Do you realize how your words impact me?”
- “I don’t appreciate being body-shamed.”
- “I’m comfortable with my body, I wish you would be too.”
- “My worth isn’t determined by my weight.”
- “If you have concerns about my health, there are better ways to show it.”
- “I’m not okay with such comments; please don’t make them again.”
- “I deserve respect and your comment felt disrespectful.
- “What made you feel it was okay to say that?”
- “My body is my business, not yours.”
- “Is this how you show love and care?”
- “I deserve to be loved for who I am, not judged for how I look.”
- “Your comment was hurtful, whether you meant it or not.”
- “Your lack of sensitivity is concerning.”
- “You should learn to appreciate people for who they are, not how they look.”
- “Such comments can lead to self-esteem issues; please think before you speak.”
- “It’s important to respect each other’s bodies and feelings.”
- “I’m more than just my physical appearance.”
- “We need to have a serious talk about this.”
- “Did you consider how I’d feel before saying that?”
- “Let’s discuss this when you’re ready to apologize.”
- “I believe love is about accepting each other as we are.”
- “I don’t find your comment funny or amusing.”
- “I love myself and my body, and I expect the same from you.”
- “If you truly care about me, you wouldn’t say such things.”
- “It’s not okay to body shame anyone, especially your girlfriend.”
- “If you can’t respect me, we need to talk about our relationship.”
- “I expect my boyfriend to be my biggest supporter, not my critic.”
- “Saying things like that can seriously harm our relationship.”
- “If you have an issue, let’s discuss it properly without resorting to hurtful comments.”
- “Insulting me is not going to solve anything.”
- “It’s not right to make someone feel bad about their body, especially someone you love.”
- “That was a hurtful thing to say, and I expect an apology.”
- “I won’t tolerate being talked to in a disrespectful way.”
- “Body shaming is harmful, do you understand that?”
- “It’s disappointing that you would say something like that to me.”
- “My body size does not define my worth or attractiveness.”
- “Your words are a reflection of your mentality, not my body.”
- “Your words were out of line; I expect better from you.”
Read next: 79 Text Messages to Tell Him He Hurt You
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