11 Signs Your Partner Is Fantasizing About Someone Else

It is not a secret that most men and women fantasize about other people while in a relationship.

This is pretty common even in happy relationships and marriages.

Many men and women can be in love with their partners but still find other people attractive.

Most of these fantasies are harmless and only become a problem if your partner acts on them.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality and only when this line is crossed fantasizing about someone else becomes an issue.

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Even though most people don’t want to believe that their partner is fantasizing about someone else, it is pretty common and healthy.

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Why Your Partner Fantasizes About Other People?

Is your wife or husband thinking about other people because they don’t find you attractive anymore?


Fantasizing about someone else is not different from watching adult videos.

Most people do it because they are bored and are looking for some type of excitement to take their minds off things.

When it comes to fantasies, most people fantasize about someone who is different from their partner.

For example, younger men often fantasize about older women or women of different races.

Younger women on the other hand often fantasize about older men or sleeping with more than one guy at a time.

This is especially common in long-term relationships or marriages where with time everything becomes boring and predictable.

Even if you are the most attractive woman or guy in the world, your partner still likely fantasizes about someone else because this is part of our human nature to desire things that we don’t have and wonder what-if.

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Signs He or She Is Fantasizing About Someone Else While Dating You

As we already discussed in this article, in most cases having a fantasy about someone else is normal.

However, in some cases, the fantasies can become unhealthy if they start to interfere with your relationship.

If you are happy with your partner, there is no need to worry about them fantasizing about someone else.

However, if you start having relationship problems it might be worth keeping the signs below in mind.

1. Your Partner Tells You About His or Her Fantasies

One way to find out if your partner is fantasizing about someone else is to ask them.

They may admit that every once in a while they fantasize about other people.

Don’t be surprised if they admit to doing it even while making love to you.

2. They Seem Distracted When You’re Together

If your partner often seems distracted when you’re together, they may be fantasizing about someone else instead of focusing on what you are saying.

If your partner starts to behave colder or emotionally detached when you are together it might be a sign of bigger issues that need to be addressed.

3. You Catch Them

If you notice your partner checking out other people, this is a pretty clear sign that they are fantasizing about someone else.

The same goes for catching your partner watching adult videos with other men or women.

4. They are Being Critical of Your Appearance

If suddenly your partner becomes critical of your looks and weight, this could be a sign that they have someone else on their mind.

They may have a fantasy of how their ideal woman or man should look and that’s why they want you to make some changes to your appearance to look that way.

For example, they may tell you that you should start working out or change your outfits.

5. They Have Changed Their Appearance

Your partner may start to take better care of their appearance because they want to appear more attractive to other people they fantasize about.

As long as they are not crossing a line and cheating on you there is nothing wrong with your partner trying to look more attractive.

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6. They Want More Privacy

Another sign that your partner is fantasizing about someone else is if they complain about not having enough privacy.

For example, they may complain if you go into their room unannounced while they are sitting on their laptop.

However, it is likely that they are just spending more time watching adult videos and not actually cheating by chatting with someone else.

7. They are Spending More Time Alone Than Usual

If your partner is suddenly spending a lot more time alone, it is natural to wonder why.

Most people fantasize about someone else when they are alone.

8. They are Different in a Bedroom

If your partner acts more aggressively or suddenly wants to try new things in the bedroom, it is possible that his fantasies about someone else are making him feel more frisky.

9. They Have New Hobbies

Getting a new hobby may also be a sign that your partner is fantasizing about someone else especially if this new hobby involves interacting with a lot of new people.

10. They’re Suddenly Working Out More

Similarly to changing their appearance, working out more can be a sign that your partner is trying to look better to be more attractive to someone else.

11. They are More Secretive Than Usual

If your partner is suddenly keeping more secrets from you or hiding what they are doing during the day it can be another sign that they fantasize about someone else.

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What to Do If Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fantasizes About Other People?

Even though fantasizing about other people is usually harmless, it can be upsetting to find out that your partner is thinking about other men or women while with you.

There are even people that consider it to be emotional cheating.

However, in most cases, this often has to do with their own insecurities or trauma caused by previous relationships.

First, before judging your partner you need to take a hard look at yourself.

Did you ever walked by an attractive guy or girl and thought they are hot or wondered what would it feel to sleep with them while being in a relationship with someone?

If you did, it means you are guilty of fantasizing about other people as well!

One way to deal with your partner’s fantasies is to introduce more excitement into your relationship so that your partner doesn’t get bored as much.

Some examples are role-playing, trying new positions, and dirty talk.

Read next: 34 Examples of Things a Woman Can Do to Spice Up The Bedroom

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