Do you suspect that the family of a guy you are dating might not be as fond of you as you’d hoped? In particular, his mother?
If so, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there!
There was this amazing guy I was dating, let’s call him Jake. We were so compatible, everything was going great until I started to notice some peculiar things about the way his mom interacted with me.
At first, I thought she was just being protective of her son. But soon, her cold attitude and passive-aggressive comments made me suspect that she just doesn’t like me.
I wish I could say that it didn’t affect me, but it did. It made me anxious and uncomfortable around Jake’s family.
I was scared that his mom’s dislike for me might ruin our relationship. What if he had to choose between his mom and me? What if he chose her?
It was a constant fear that cast a shadow over our otherwise perfect relationship. To make matters worse, when I tried to bring this up with Jake, he brushed it off saying that’s just the way she is.
If you’re in a similar situation and wondering if your suspicions are right, here are common signs that your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t like you:
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Signs His Mom Doesn’t Like You
1. She gives you backhanded compliments
Compliments are supposed to make one feel good, right? But when his mom tosses you a compliment with a twist of criticism or disguised insult, it leaves you feeling baffled.
If her praises always come with subtle digs or condescending undertones, it’s a sign she’s not really happy that her son is dating you.
This could be a way for her to express her disapproval or dissatisfaction without appearing overtly hostile.
2. She’s overly critical of you
Nobody is perfect, and we all have our flaws but if his mom seems to focus more on your flaws than your good qualities, it means that she may not like you.
She may give you negative comments about your choices, your lifestyle, your job, or even your appearance.
Her constant criticism may be an attempt to undermine your confidence or paint you in an adverse light to her son – this sort of behavior points towards dislike and lack of acceptance.
3. She avoids eye contact with you
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. If his mom consistently avoids making eye contact with you during conversations, it could be a sign of her discomfort or disinterest.
She may be avoiding a direct connection with you because she doesn’t approve of you dating her son.
4. She interrupts you
If his mom consistently cuts you off when you’re speaking, it may indicate a lack of respect or interest in what you have to say.
Interruptions are also used to assert dominance in the conversation and subtly indicate that what she has to say is more important than listening to you.
5. She dismisses your opinions
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and if his mom belittles yours or simply ignores them, it’s a clear sign of disrespect and dislike.
Be it about something trivial like your preference for coffee over tea or something significant like your stance on marriage and kids, if she consistently brushes off your opinions, it’s a clear indication that she may not value or respect you.
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6. She never invites you to family events
Family events are where bonds are formed and relationships are strengthened. If you’re noticeably left out from family gatherings, it may be a sign that she doesn’t want to include you in their family dynamic.
The absence of an invitation shows her unwillingness to accept and recognize your relationship with her son.
7. She compares you to his exes
If his mom often brings up his ex-girlfriends in conversation and makes comparisons between them and you, it could be her way of showing that she preferred his previous partners over you.
This is damaging behavior as it not only undermines your relationship but also creates unnecessary tension and pressure.
8. She is not interested in getting to know you
People ask questions about things (or people) they’re interested in.
If she doesn’t ask about your life, your interests, your background, or your dreams for the future, it might mean she’s not interested in building a relationship with you.
9. She undermines your relationship with her son
If she makes comments that could create doubts about your relationship in her son’s mind, it’s a red flag that she may not like you.
These comments could be about how he could do better, how he has changed since he started dating you, or how certain aspects of his life aren’t going as well because of your influence.
10. She doesn’t respect your boundaries
Everyone has their comfort zones and lines that they do not wish others to cross.
If his mom consistently oversteps these boundaries despite being made aware of them, it’s a blatant sign of disrespect and could be her way of testing your patience or tolerance level.
11. She talks about other potential partners for her son
This is one of the clearest signs that his mom doesn’t like you.
If she talks about other women who would be ‘perfect’ for him or ‘much better’ than you, it’s clear she doesn’t see you as the right person for her son.
This behavior not only undermines your relationship but also shows her lack of respect for you.
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12. She’s indifferent toward your achievements
When we achieve something significant, we expect our loved ones to share our joy and celebrate our accomplishments with us.
If his mom consistently fails to show enthusiasm or acknowledge your achievements, big or small, whether personal or professional, it suggests a lack of respect.
13. She never defends you in arguments
In any relationship, disagreements, and arguments are inevitable.
But if she always takes her son’s side regardless of who’s right or wrong, never acknowledging your point of view or defending your opinions, it shows bias against you.
14. She guilt trips her son for spending time with you
If she consistently makes him feel guilty for spending time with you instead of doing something else, this manipulative tactic is used to drive a wedge between the two of you and potentially end the relationship.
15. She badmouths you to other family members or friends
If other family members or even friends of the family seem distant or cold towards you without any particular reason, it might be because she’s spreading negative rumors about you behind your back.
16. She blames you for changes in her son’s behavior
Changes are inevitable when two people become part of each other’s lives; their habits might change slightly based on each other’s influence.
However, if she holds you responsible for every change in her son from trivial habits like food preferences to significant ones like career choices trying to portray these changes negatively, it’s likely because she disapproves of your influence on him.
17. She’s passive-aggressive toward you
Passive-aggressiveness is a subtle yet destructive form of hostility where resentment is expressed indirectly rather than openly addressed like giving silent treatment instead of voicing upset feelings or making veiled hostile remarks instead of directly stating their issue with you.
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18. She doesn’t show warmth toward you
It’s natural for people to show warmth and affection towards those they care about and like especially when it comes to someone dating their child!
If she consistently maintains a cold demeanor towards you and fails to show any sort of affection it can indicate a lack of acceptance.
19. She ignores your efforts
When we do something nice for others, we hope for recognition or at least appreciation for our efforts!
If she always fails to recognize when you do something nice for the family from helping out with chores during visits to planning surprises/events for them this lack of acknowledgment shows a lack of appreciation and respect.
20. She’s dismissive of your career
A person’s career is an integral part of their identity and self-worth.
If she discredits what you do for a living, belittles your job role or career achievements, or fails to show any interest in your professional life, it’s a clear indication that she is not interested in getting to know you.
21. She never makes you feel comfortable at their home
Home is where we let our guards down and be our most authentic selves. As a hostess, it’s expected of her to make guests feel at home.
Not caring about your comfort when you’re at their place, could be her way of showing disapproval of your relationship with her son and her reluctance to accept you into their family space.
22. She makes negative remarks about your family or background
When you care about someone, you naturally extend that care to the people they care about.
If she consistently makes derogatory remarks about your family, your upbringing, or your background, it’s an intense form of disrespect for you and a clear sign of her negative feelings toward you.
23. She openly objects to the idea of her son marrying you
This is the most blatant sign that she does not approve of you as her son’s partner.
If she openly expresses her disapproval of the idea of her son settling down with you, it shows that she does not see you as a part of their future and does not like you.
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