Why Do I Attract Guys With Mommy Issues? 17 Reasons

Have you ever wondered why you always seem to attract men with mommy issues?

It can be incredibly frustrating when you start dating a new guy, and soon after, you realize that he has unresolved mommy issues.

This can lead to a multitude of problems in the relationship, as these men tend to be emotionally unavailable or overly dependent.

They might seek validation and approval from their partners, much like they would with their mothers.

It’s exhausting to constantly deal with your partner’s emotional baggage, especially when it stems from his childhood.

You might feel like you’re not only his partner but also his therapist, trying to help him work through these issues while maintaining your emotional well-being.

If this sounds all too familiar, then it’s time to understand why you attract men with mommy issues and learn how to break this pattern.

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Signs of Mommy Issues in a Man

He constantly compares you to his mother

This could be in terms of looks, behavior, or even cooking skills. It’s a clear sign that he has his mom on a pedestal and expects you to live up to her standards.

For example, he might say things like “My mom always made the best lasagna. Can you try making it like her?” or “You know, my mom never raised her voice at me.”

He seeks constant approval

Men with mommy issues might look for validation from their partners for every decision they make, big or small.

They often require reassurance that they’re doing the right thing. For instance, he might ask you if he should wear a certain shirt or if his choice of words in an email is appropriate.

He’s overly dependent

These men often rely on their partners for emotional support, companionship, and even financial assistance.

They may struggle with independence and have a hard time standing on their own two feet.

For example, he might expect you to handle all the bills, make all the decisions, or constantly be at his side for emotional support.

He has difficulty setting boundaries

A man with mommy issues may struggle to set appropriate boundaries with his mother, allowing her to have too much influence over his life and relationship.

For instance, she might call him multiple times a day, dictate his schedule, or criticize his relationship.

He is passive-aggressive

He might not be able to express his feelings directly and resort to passive-aggressive behavior as a way to communicate his emotions.

For example, he might give you silent treatment or make snide remarks instead of addressing issues head-on.

He struggles with commitment

Men with mommy issues may also have a hard time committing to a relationship, fearing that they’ll be trapped or controlled.

For instance, he may avoid discussing the future or balk at the idea of moving in together.

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He has poor communication skills

Men with mommy issues may struggle to openly and honestly express their thoughts and feelings, making it difficult for you to truly understand and connect with them.

He might shut down when you try to discuss important issues or only share superficial thoughts and feelings.

He’s overly controlling

Some men with mommy issues may become overly controlling in their relationships, trying to maintain the sense of security that they lacked in their childhood.

For example, he might dictate what you wear, who you spend time with, or how you spend your free time.

He is emotionally needy

These men may require constant emotional support and reassurance from their partners, putting a strain on the relationship.

He might need you to constantly tell him how much you love him or reassure him that you’ll never leave.

He has low self-esteem

Men with mommy issues often struggle with self-esteem, feeling like they will never be good enough for anyone, including you.

He might constantly put himself down or seek validation from you to boost his ego.

He resents his mother

A man with mommy issues might harbor resentment towards his mother, which could make him project this anger onto other women in his life, including his partner.

For instance, he may blame you for problems in the relationship that are actually rooted in his unresolved issues with his mom.

He struggles to separate from his mother

This man may still be dependent on his mother emotionally, financially, or both, making it difficult for him to form a healthy relationship with his partner.

For example, he might still live with her or expect her to handle all of his finances and decision-making.

He has a hard time with intimacy

Men who have unresolved mommy issues often struggle with emotional and physical intimacy, making it difficult for them to connect with their partners.

He might avoid physical touch or have difficulty opening up about his feelings.

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Why You Attract Guys With Mommy Issues and How to Avoid It?

1. You’re nurturing by nature

Your caring personality might naturally attract men who are looking for a mother figure to comfort and support them.

To avoid this, make sure you maintain a balance between being nurturing and encouraging independence in your partner.

2. You’re a good listener

Men with mommy issues might gravitate toward you because they feel heard and understood when they’re with you.

While being a good listener is a positive trait, be mindful of not getting too emotionally involved in their issues.

3. You have a strong maternal instinct

These men might be drawn to your protective and nurturing demeanor, seeking the safety and security they crave.

Make sure to establish boundaries and encourage your partner to find that sense of security within themselves.

4. You’re empathetic

Your ability to empathize with others may make you more attractive to men with mommy issues.

While empathy is a valuable trait, ensure that it doesn’t lead to codependency or enable unhealthy behaviors in your partner.

5. You’re a problem solver

Men with mommy issues may be drawn to your ability to help them solve their problems. While it’s great to be supportive, make sure you’re not taking on the responsibility of fixing their issues for them.

6. You have a history of dysfunctional relationships

If you have a pattern of engaging in dysfunctional relationships, you may be unconsciously drawn to men with unresolved emotional baggage, including mommy issues.

7. You struggle with setting boundaries

If you have difficulty setting healthy boundaries in relationships, you may inadvertently attract men who also struggle with this issue, such as those with mommy issues.

8. Your unresolved emotional baggage

If you have unresolved emotional baggage from your childhood or past relationships, you may be more likely to attract partners who share similar unresolved issues.

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9. You’re codependent

Codependent individuals often attract partners who struggle with emotional issues, as both parties feed off each other’s need for validation and support.

10. You have a high tolerance for unhealthy behaviors

If you’re willing to put up with unhealthy behaviors from a partner, you may be more likely to attract men with emotional issues.

11. You tend to “rescue” people

If you have a habit of getting into relationships with people who need “saving,” you may be more likely to attract men with mommy issues who are seeking a savior.

12. You have low self-esteem

If you struggle with self-esteem, you may be more likely to attract partners who also have low self-esteem and unresolved emotional baggage.

13. You’re a people pleaser

If you’re constantly trying to please others at the expense of your own needs and desires, you may be more likely to attract emotionally needy men with mommy issues.

14. You lack assertiveness

If you struggle with assertiveness, you may be more likely to attract men who take advantage of your passive nature and use it to further their own emotional needs.

15. You ignore red flags

If you have a habit of ignoring red flags in relationships, you may be more likely to overlook the signs of mommy issues in the men you date.

16. You fear abandonment

If you have a fear of abandonment, you may be more likely to attract emotionally needy men who also fear being abandoned.

17. You’re not clear about what you want

If you’re unsure of what you want in a relationship, you may be more likely to attract men with mommy issues. It’s essential to be clear about your expectations to find someone compatible.

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