So you’re going about your day, minding your own business when out of nowhere a text that sounds something like this appears – “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?“.
Perhaps it’s from your ex who changed his mind or an absolute stranger who thinks he is a modern-day Casanova.
Or maybe it’s one of your friends who just won’t take a hint.
These unwanted advances can range from mildly annoying to downright creepy.
So how can you reply without losing your cool or your dignity?
Dealing with people sending unwanted flirty texts can be tricky and there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being aggressive.
However, sometimes it’s essential to assert your boundaries and let the person on the other end know that their advances are not welcome.
And what is a better way to do that than with some humor to disarm your unwanted admirers?
So let’s take a look at some common flirty pickup lines and savage messages you can use to reply.
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Savage Replies to Unwanted Flirty Texts
1. Text: “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
Reply: “I’m not a magician, but if you’re looking for disappearing acts, my interest in this conversation is a great example.”
2. Text: “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
Reply: “You can call me ‘Out of Your League'”
3. Text: “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
Reply: “If you were a vegetable, I’d probably forget to water you.”
4. Text: “Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”
Reply: “You might want to find a new dream because this one might turn into a nightmare.”
5. Text: “Is your dad a boxer? Because dang, you’re a knockout!”
Reply: “Is your dad a comedian? Because your jokes aren’t landing.”
6. Text: “Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
Reply: “More like dial-up, because you’re really slow at picking up hints.”
7. Text: “Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”
Reply: “Sure, but I doubt Santa will deliver that.”
8. Text: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Reply: “No, but this conversation is starting to cause some pain.”
9. Text: “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
Reply: “And if you were a fruit, you’d be a boreberry.”
10. Text: “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.”
Reply: “No map needed – it’s pretty easy to find your way out of shallow waters.”
11. Text: “You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got fine written all over you.”
Reply: “You must be expired milk because everything about this conversation stinks.”
12. Text: “Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m lovin’ it!”
Reply: “And your pick-up lines must be from the dollar store – cheap and ineffective.”
13. Text: “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
Reply: “Are you a mirror? Because every time I look at this conversation, I cringe.”
14. Text: “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
Reply: “And like a snowflake, your chances of sticking around are melting away.”
15. Text: “If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”
Reply: “If desperation was time, this conversation would never end.”
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16. Text: “Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”
Reply: “They’d rather be social distancing, thanks.”
17. Text: “You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
Reply: “You must be exhausted from trying so hard and getting nowhere.”
18. Text: “If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy”
Reply: “Too bad your pick-up lines are more like black holes”
19. Text: “Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase your past and write our future.”
Reply: “Do you have an eraser? Because I’d like to forget this conversation.”
20. Text: “You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life.”
Reply: “You’re like a broken pencil – pointless.”
21. Text: “You must be a magician because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
Reply: “I must be an escape artist because I’m about to vanish from this conversation.”
22. Text: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”
Reply: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put F and U together.”
23. Text: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Reply: “No, but my eyes are hurting from reading this.”
24. Text: “Is your last name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
Reply: “I’m more like Bing – something nobody wants or uses.”
25. Text: “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
Reply: “You’ll melt away soon enough, then.”
26. Text: “Are we at the airport? Because my heart is taking off.”
Reply: “I hope it’s going on a one-way trip.”
27. Text: “Are you a time traveler? Because I can’t imagine my future without you in it.”
Reply: “Time to travel back to when this conversation never started.”
28. Text: “Are you a beaver? Because daaaaam”
Reply: “Are you a mosquito? Because you’re so annoying”
29. Text: “If we were on an island together, I’d never want to be rescued.”
Reply: “If we were on an island together, I’d swim for my life.”
30. Text: “You make me feel like I’m walking on sunshine.”
Reply: “You make me feel like I’m walking through a swamp.”
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31. Text: “Your eyes are like the ocean, and I’m lost at sea.”
Reply: “You might want to invest in a life raft then.”
32. Text: “Do you have Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
Reply: “Connection error. Please try again never.”
33. Text: “Your hand looks heavy – can I hold it for you?”
Reply: “I think my hand can manage just fine without you.”
34. Text: “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
Reply: “It’s probably global warming and like this conversation, it’s a real problem.”
35. Text: “Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest.”
Reply: “I charge high-interest rates, and you can’t afford me.”
36. Text: “On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”
Reply: “North Korea.”
37. Text: “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
Reply: “You must be a dinosaur because your pickup lines are ancient.”
38. Text: “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.”
Reply: “Your destination is the friend zone at best.”
39. Text: “Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a strong connection.”
Reply: “Looks like it’s time to disconnect.”
40. Text: “I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”
Reply: “I’m not an editor, but I can definitely crop you out.”
41. Text: “Is your body made of water? Because it’s making me thirsty.”
Reply: “Quench your thirst elsewhere because this well is off-limits.”
42. Text: “Are we at the airport? Because my heart is taking off.”
Reply: “This is a no-fly zone, so better ground that heart.”
43. Text: “I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.”
Reply: “That forecast sounds disappointing. Time to find a new weatherman.”
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