Dating in your 50s can be a bit of a challenge especially if you have been out of the dating game for a while.
That’s why many divorced or widowed singles in their 50s and 60s have a tough time moving on and starting dating again.
There is still plenty of fish in the sea, but you might have to wade through a few more frogs before you find your prince or princess.
Another thing to keep in mind is that your divorce might have left you with some baggage.
You might be a little shy about getting into another relationship, and that’s perfectly understandable.
Just take things slow and don’t rush into anything.
However, at the same time don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
How Long Should You Wait to Date After Divorce?
There are a few things to keep in mind when making the decision to start dating after divorce.
First, it’s important to make sure that you’re truly ready to date. If you’re not over your ex or if you’re still feeling angry, hurt, or bitter about the divorce, you’re not ready.
It is important to take time to heal and to work on yourself during this time. You may want to consider therapy to help you deal with the emotions you are feeling.
Second, you need to be honest with yourself about why you want to date. If you’re looking for a rebound or you’re just trying to fill the void left by your ex, you’re not ready to date.
You need to be sure that you’re looking for a new relationship because you want one, not because you’re trying to replace your old one.
Finally, you need to be patient. Don’t rush into dating just because you’re feeling lonely or because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do.
Take your time and make sure that you’re really ready before you start dating again.
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Tips for Dating in Your 50s After Divorce
1. Get Out There and Meet People
If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, it can be hard to know where to start.
The good news is that there are more ways than ever to meet someone.
With the advances in technology, there are now dating apps and websites that cater to every type of relationship.
Whether you’re looking for a casual relationship or a serious one, there’s sure to be something out there that fits your needs.
2. Keep an Open Mind
You’re no longer in your 20s or 30s, so the dating pool has definitely changed. The rules have also changed.
With online dating, there are more opportunities to meet people outside of your social circle. You can also be more specific about what you’re looking for in a partner.
3. Don’t Compare Your Date to Your Ex
A lot of times when we start dating again after divorce, we tend to compare our dates to our ex. Which is a huge mistake.
Our ex is in the past for a reason and no matter how great they were, they’re not coming back.
Even if you did find someone like that, chances are they would end up being just as big of a disappointment as your ex was.
So, it’s time to start fresh with someone new. Keep an open mind and give your date a chance.
4. Don’t Rush Into Things
Just because you’re dating in your 50s after a divorce, doesn’t mean that you should lower your standards.
If anything, this is the time to really take a good hard look at what you want in a partner.
What values do they need to have? What interests do you need to share? What kind of lifestyle do you want to lead?
This is your time to be picky and choosy because you’ve already been through enough in your life. You don’t need to waste your time with someone who isn’t going to make you happy.
Now it’s time to take things slow and enjoy the process. Get to know the person you’re dating.
Don’t rush into sleeping with them. Let things develop naturally and most importantly, don’t pressure them into anything they’re not ready for.
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5. Don’t Play Games
Your 50s is not a time to play mind games if you are looking for a serious relationship.
No more playing it cool. No more “I’m busy” when you’re really not. It’s time for honesty and being real.
You want to attract someone that’s looking for the same thing as you are and the only way to do that is by being upfront about what you want and who you are.
If you’re not interested in someone, let them know. Don’t lead them on.
6. Know What You Want
What do you want out of a relationship? What are your deal breakers? What is your must-haves?
Decide how often you want to go on dates and whether you want to date one person at a time or multiple people.
Also, try to figure out if you want to date casually or if you are looking for a long-term relationship.
Be clear about your intentions from the start.
7. Don’t Focus on Your Ex
When you’re divorced, it’s natural to want to vent about all the things that went wrong in your marriage.
However, when you’re on a date, the last thing your date wants to hear is how terrible your ex was.
If you can’t help but bring up your ex, then maybe you’re not ready to start dating again.
8. Have Realistic Expectations
The truth is, finding love again isn’t easy.
No matter your age, the process of getting back out there and meeting new people is filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and sometimes even heartbreaks.
The best way to approach dating in your 50s is to keep your expectations realistic.
If you’re looking for the same butterflies you felt when you first met your ex, you’re likely going to be disappointed.
Instead, focus on finding someone who makes you happy and is compatible with you.
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9. Take Care of Yourself
This is the time in your life when you really need to focus on yourself.
Your wants, your needs, your goals, and your happiness. If you don’t have your own life sorted out, how can you expect to find someone to share it with?
Get yourself into a routine that makes you feel good. Exercise, eat healthy, find a hobby, read books, and do whatever makes you happy. When you love yourself, it’s easier to let someone else love you.
It is also important to take care of your physical appearance.
This doesn’t mean you have to look like a movie star but you should make an effort to look nice when you go out on a date.
After being married for a long time, it’s easy to let yourself go but if you want to attract someone new, you need to make some effort.
Get a new hairstyle, buy some new clothes, and hit the gym.
10. Don’t Dwell on Your Age
One of the first things you have to get over is the fact that you’re not in your 20s or 30s anymore.
Dating in your 50s has its advantages and disadvantages.
Now you’re more mature and you know what you want and don’t want in a relationship. You also probably have a better handle on your finances and can take care of yourself.
The disadvantage is that you’re not as youthful as you used to be. You may not have the same energy level, you might be a little out of shape and you may have some wrinkles. All of which can make you feel insecure and less attractive.
However, you need to realize that everyone has some physical imperfections and the right person will love you for who you are on the inside, not the outside.
Age is just a number and it doesn’t define who you are as a person or how attractive you are.
11. Be Willing to Try New Things
Dating in your 50s is a whole different animal from dating in your 20s.
When you were younger, you were probably more open to trying new things but as you get older, you tend to get stuck in your ways.
You know what you like and you stick to it, but if you want to find love again, you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things.
If you’ve always wanted to try online dating but were too afraid to give it a shot, now is the time.
Or, if you’ve always wanted to take a cooking class but never had the time, sign up for one.
Be open to new experiences and you never know who you might meet.
12. Be Willing to Compromise
In any relationship, whether it’s friendship or romantic, both parties have to be willing to compromise. That means making an effort to see things from the other person’s perspective and giving up some control.
In a relationship, you can’t always have things your way. You have to learn to be flexible and adapt to different situations.
It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary if you want the relationship to work.
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