Both Tinder and online dating as a whole can be both fun and riddled with confliction. It is easy to open Tinder account and wait for guys to message you. However at some point comes a time where you feel like you have to dive in rather than just wiggle your toes in the water, but how? In this article, we will discuss how to start a conversation with a guy you fancy.
Be Sure to Thoroughly Inspect his Profile:
Better safe than sorry, you have heard the saying before. In this case, it is okay to snoop. Before starting off your conversation be sure that you are truly interested in the Tinder user. Check his photos for any sudden clues to a suspicion. By just a few photos and a quick read of their bio, you can get a head start on obtaining a firm grasp on who they really are.
Present the guy with a Topic that Interests you both:
This is where viewing their profile comes in handy, for you get an insight on the things they enjoy or even some things that they may dislike. It is obvious that you were attracted to something from their profile, so use that to your advantage. As an example, while swiping through profiles you find this charming guy who likes hiking and it turns out you are also an avid lover of the hobby. That is when you start off the conversation with a simple greeting and then you bring up your similar interests.
“Hello, I was reading your profile and found that you enjoyed hiking. What are the ideal locations to hike where you’re from?”
Don’t Rush it:
Everyone hates feeling rushed into things. It can cause a problem in the long run and to save yours and their sanity, move nice and slow in the beginning. You can still like who you are speaking to, but if it is your first time talking to him do not bring up things like marrying them or furthering into a relationship especially during the first conversation. Start with small talk and then maybe after finding out more about him you can talk about much deeper things.
The Beginning Could be the End:
So, you have messaged this guy telling him in thorough detail what you like. He has even viewed your profile many times just as you have viewed his, so you know that you both know a little about one another. There is really no excuse for you to type a throughout greeting as a starter message and receive a simple “lol” as a response. I know there is a thought that he might be busy, but if that’s so then maybe that should raise a red flag.
You want to converse with someone who actually has time for you. Think about it, if you receive a “lol” hours later after you have sent your message, imagine what actually dating him may be like.
Wait for the Right Timing:
After you have found your match, do not shoot him a message right away. Some dating app users enjoy to see their interests make the first move, so if you have encountered a guy like this, why not have some fun in the process. Of course, it is not unheard of that people message their match immediately but if you would like to build some suspense wait a little while. He’ll continue to check out your profile until you finally shoot them a message.
That being said, do not wait too long to start a conversation. A few hours to a day is not an inane idea, but know the risks of waiting too long could set you up for a disadvantage. No one wants to feel like they are waiting forever. Even if you do not know the right words to say a simple “hello” would grab his attention solely because he has been waiting on your message.
Start with Lighthearted Topics:
It happens, you both have many things in common except for that ONE thing. This tip is actually a complex one, for everyone has a different passion. Steer clear of problematic texts and talk about lighthearted subjects. You could ask if they like music and take off from there.
Set Personal Goals before you send:
You do not necessarily have to tell him why you are messaging him, but you should know why. Are you seeking friendship or a relationship? This position may change the longer you talk to him, but you don’t want to go into the conversation with no purpose. If you do your thoughts may come off as misleading to him.
Type with a clear mind and remember to just have fun.
If you find out that you are not having much luck meeting mature guys on Tinder, try using other dating sites such as Match, that cater more to people who are looking for a serious relationship. View pics for free now on Match.com, the #1 dating site!