Lately, you’ve noticed that your ex has been getting closer to you. He’s started texting and calling more often, and you’ve even caught him “accidentally” bumping into you at your favorite coffee shop.
As much as you may want to believe that he’s trying to get back with you, you can’t shake the nagging feeling that his intentions might not be so pure.
You’re worried that he may just be trying to sleep with you or take advantage of your lingering feelings for him.
To complicate matters further, he might even have a new girlfriend, making his intentions even more unclear.
Is it possible that your ex just wants another chance, or is he just looking for a hookup?
To understand his true intentions let’s take a look at common signs that you will notice if he just wants to sleep with you and nothing more than that.
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Signs Your Ex Just Wants to Sleep with You
1. He only calls or texts you late at night
If your ex always texts or calls you late at night when he’s feeling lonely or bored, this is usually a sign that he’s more interested in a casual fling than something serious.
For example, instead of asking about your day, he might send messages like “Hey, I’m bored and can’t sleep. Want to come over and watch a movie?” or “It’s been a long day, and I could use some company. How about you?”
These late-night invitations are usually the red flag that he just wants to sleep with you.
2. He avoids discussing emotions
When you talk to your ex about your feelings or try to discuss your past relationship, he might avoid the conversation or change the topic.
For instance, you might bring up a past disagreement or tell him how much you’ve been missing him, only for him to respond with something like, “Wow, that’s ancient history. How about we talk about something more fun?”
This is a sign that he’s not interested in working through any issues and is only focused on getting more physical with you.
3. Too much flirting
If your ex starts flirting with you more than usual, it might be another sign that he’s looking for a hookup.
Instead of catching up on each other’s lives, he might send suggestive texts describing fantasies involving you or make provocative comments about how amazing you look in your latest Instagram photo.
While some level of flirtation could mean genuine interest, an excessive amount could hint at ulterior motives.
4. He only wants to hang out in private
Your ex may suggest meeting up in private places like his house or a hotel, instead of a coffee shop or a park.
For example, he might invite you over for a “movie night” instead of going to a cinema. This can be a red flag that he’s more interested in physical intimacy than anything else.
5. He hides his current relationship status
If your ex is vague or evasive about whether he’s currently seeing anyone else, it could be because he’s looking to keep his options open for a casual hookup with you.
When asked about his love life, he might respond with something like “It’s complicated right now, and I don’t want to get into details” or “I’m not really seeing anyone seriously at the moment, but let’s not talk about that.”
These evasive answers usually mean that he might not be completely honest about his intentions.
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6. He’s only focused on intimacy
If your ex constantly brings up your past intimate experiences or says that you were an amazing lover, it could be an attempt to reignite that physical connection.
For example, he might talk about the time you spent a whole weekend in bed together or comment on how he’s never been with anyone who could satisfy him as you did.
This obsession with your intimate history may be a sign that he’s more interested in getting physical than rebuilding your relationship.
7. He avoids discussing the future
When you try to talk about your future goals or dreams, your ex might steer the conversation back to your past relationship or how much fun you used to have together
For example, if you mention your plans to move to a new city or start a new career, he might reply with something like, “That’s cool, but remember that time we booked a hotel with a jacuzzi in our room?” or “Let’s not worry about the future and just have fun tonight.”
This could be a sign that he’s not interested in building a future together and is only focused on the here and now.
8. He only compliments your physical appearance
While it’s normal for people to compliment each other on their looks, if your ex is constantly praising your physical appearance, it could be another sign that he’s only interested in a physical relationship with you.
He might say things like “You’re looking amazing these days” or “I’ve always loved the way you look in that dress”.
9. He gets touchy-feely with you
If your ex becomes overly affectionate and can’t keep his hands off of you, this is a clear sign that he’s more interested in physical intimacy than anything else.
He might find excuses to touch you, such as putting his arm around you, rubbing your back, or giving you tight prolonged hugs.
Additionally, he may casually brush against you while walking or grab your hand while talking.
Sudden touches on your knee or shoulder during conversation can also be signs that he’s just looking to sleep with you.
10. He suggests an FWB arrangement
If your ex proposes that you remain friends but keep sleeping with each other, this is another sign that he’s more interested in getting physical than anything else.
He might bring up the idea casually during a conversation or even try to make it seem like a mutually beneficial arrangement.
However, it’s important to remember that this kind of relationship often leads to hurt feelings and confusion, especially if you are still in love with him.
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11. He talks about other women
If your ex frequently brings up other women he’s been with or mentions his recent hookups, it is a sign that he’s trying to keep things light and casual between you two.
By discussing his encounters with other women, he may want to check your reaction and see if you’re still interested in him on a physical level.
12. He pressures you to sleep with him
If your ex starts pressuring you to sleep with him or tries to guilt you into it by saying things like “We’ve done it before, so what’s the big deal?”, it’s a strong indication that he’s only interested in a physical relationship.
This type of manipulation can be subtle, such as making comments about how attracted he still is to you, or more overt, like attempting to seduce you when you’re alone together.
It’s important to stand your ground and not give in to these tactics if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with him again.
13. He sends mixed signals
If your ex reaches out and then disappears for days or weeks at a time, he may be keeping you on standby for when he wants some physical affection without committing to anything deeper.
This can be incredibly frustrating because it leaves you wondering where you stand and whether there’s any hope for a future together.
14. He makes dirty innuendos
If he frequently makes dirty innuendos or suggestive jokes, it could be his way of checking to see if you’re open to hooking up again.
These comments may seem innocent at first, but over time, they can become more explicit and suggestive.
15. He compares you to other women he slept with
If your ex brings up how incredible you were in bed compared to his current girlfriend, this is a pretty clear sign that he wants to sleep with you.
Comments like these serve no other purpose than to manipulate your feelings and make you feel like you need to prove yourself or compete with his current girlfriend.
Remember that your worth is not based on how well you perform in bed, and don’t let these comparisons sway your decision-making.
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16. He always tries to get you tipsy
If your ex consistently encourages you to drink when you’re together or tries to get you tipsy, it could be a sign that he’s trying to lower your inhibitions to sleep with you.
This behavior is not only manipulative but also a red flag that he doesn’t respect your boundaries.
If you notice this pattern, make sure to let him know that you’re not interested in engaging in any physical intimacy while under the influence.
Should You Be Sleeping with an Ex You Still Love?
Now that you’re familiar with the signs that your ex might just want to sleep with you, it’s important to consider the potential consequences of getting into a casual relationship with a guy you still have feelings for.
While it might be tempting to give in and enjoy physical intimacy, doing so can lead to emotional turmoil and prolong the healing process after a breakup.
Even if you still love your ex, it’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being above all else.
This means being honest with yourself about your feelings and setting boundaries to protect yourself from further heartbreak.
If you suspect that your ex is only interested in physical intimacy, it’s best to distance yourself and focus on moving on.
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