Did you notice that many guys on apps like Tinder and Bumble want to meet up as so soon as you start messaging them?
Does it mean they just want to hook up with you?
Well, it really depends.
It is true that some guys just want to get laid and that’s why they are not really interested in chatting and getting to know you.
Guys like that will try to meet up with you straight away especially if you are chatting with them at night and will often invite you to “chill” at their place.
However, there are also a lot of other guys who are actually interested in a serious relationship but want to meet up right away as well because they don’t want to waste time chatting online.
Today we’ll explore all the reasons why some guys want to meet immediately after starting to talk with you.
We’ll also give you some tips on how to handle these situations and what to do if you are looking for something more serious than a fling.
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Why Do Guys Want to Meet Up So Soon?
1. They are Busy
Some guys are busy with work or school and might not have much time to chat online.
That’s why they may prefer to meet up with you and see if there is a connection instead of wasting time chatting online only to realize that there is zero chemistry when you finally meet in person.
These guys will usually invite you for something quick like a coffee instead of an official restaurant date to see if you click.
2. They are Not Good at Texting
Not every guy is good or comfortable when it comes to chatting online. This is especially common with older guys that still prefer talking on the phone instead of texting.
If a guy is struggling to keep the conversation going over text, he might want to meet up with you in person so that he can get to know you more easily.
3. They are Afraid You Will Lose Interest
Some guys are afraid that if they don’t meet up with you right away, you might end up going out with someone else.
4. They Want to Avoid Women That Just Like to Chat
There are some girls on dating apps that just like to text and never actually plan to meet up in person.
Women like that often use online dating when they are bored or want to see how many guys will message them to boost their self-esteem and have some fun.
That’s why some guys are trying to avoid these girls by meeting up quickly to see who is really interested in dating and who just wants to chat.
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5. They are Impatient
Some men are simply impatient and want to meet you right away instead of waiting weeks to see if there’s real potential for a relationship.
They think that the sooner they meet you, the sooner they’ll know if there’s chemistry or not.
6. They are Trying to Get Over Their Ex
If a guy is trying to get over someone, he might want to meet up with you right away.
Men like this often think that meeting someone new will help them to forget their ex or maybe even make her jealous.
7. They’re Looking for a Hookup
Many guys on dating apps are simply looking for a quick hookup.
They don’t want to spend hours chatting and getting to know you and instead all they want is to meet up and get down to business.
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How Long Should You Talk to Someone Before Going on a Date?
There are no solid rules when it comes to how long you should wait before going on a date with someone you just met on Tinder or Bumble.
You don’t want to seem too eager, but you also don’t want to wait too long and risk losing their interest.
So how do you strike the perfect balance?
There’s no magic number, but as a general rule of thumb, it’s best not to rush.
Give yourself time to get comfortable with a guy before making any plans.
For some women, it takes a week of chatting to feel comfortable while for others it might just be a few hours so listen to your gut and go with what feels natural for you.
If there is a strong connection, then meeting in person after chatting for a day or two is completely fine.
However, if you don’t feel comfortable about the guy, then it might be best to wait a bit longer before going on a date.
Another approach is to decide what kind of relationship you are looking for.
If you’re just looking for something casual, then there’s no need to overthink things – just go with the flow and see where things lead.
However, if you’re hoping for something more serious, it might be worth taking things slow and giving yourself time to get to know the person before jumping into anything.
Don’t miss: How to Say You are Looking for Something Serious?
How Do You Tell Someone You’re Not Ready to Meet?
So now let’s take a look at some ways to tell a guy that you need more time before meeting him in person.
One way is to be honest and just tell the guy that you’re not ready to meet yet and need more time to get to know him.
Another option is to tell him that you are too busy and can only meet up in a week or two. This is usually a better approach if you want to avoid hurting a guy’s feelings.
Here are some actual examples that you can use:
- Sorry I am really busy this week so how about we plan something for the week after?
- Let’s chat online for a bit longer before we meet up in person!
- I think it would be best if we get to know each other better before meeting up! What do you think?
- Yeah I don’t think meeting up right now is the best idea… maybe we can chat for a little longer to get to know each other better?
- How about instead of meeting up right away, we video chat for now? This way, we can get more comfortable with each other!
- I’m really enjoying getting to know you but let’s wait a little longer before arranging a face-to-face meeting.
- Let me think about it – I’m just not sure if meeting up in person is something I’m ready for. I usually like to get to know someone before going on a date.
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