So, you have met a special someone online on Tinder, Bumble or POF — the spark was there from the very beginning, you have strikingly similar hobbies and every moment spent talking to them revs up those oh-so pesky butterflies. After some deliberation you both agree to meet each other in person, but how long should you both wait?
The key is to never wait too long, but that’s not saying dive head in either. From what I have observed, there are key factors that should play a role in your final decision. How well do you know your significant other? If you have been conversing for eight months straight and all you may have gotten to know about them was their favorite color you should get to know them a little more before going on an actual date. Another detail that you should pay attention to before meeting your love interest in the person is photos.
Get to Know Your Partner First:
How well do you know the person behind the screen? It may add more time to the process of actually meeting but knowing their virtual identity is just as important as getting to know them in person. Catfishing has been around for ages and can even slow down the meeting process. If you are new to the phrase “catfishing” it is when an internet user poses as someone they are not. In a nutshell, it is a part of identity theft. They may use pictures from someone else’s account just to get both your attention and possibly someone else’s. If they constantly reject your advances to meet them it is okay to think that maybe they aren’t ready, but if months go by and they still refuse to meet you in person and try to avoid the topic of meeting you, the user being a catfish could be something you look into. Meeting someone who after a prolonged period of time refuses to meet up with you or even exchange photos could pose a potential threat.
It’s Perfectly Fine to Wait
Unfortunately, there is no way of giving a specific time frame, for it varies from relationship to relationship. Everyone works at their own pace and moving too slow or fast could possibly intimidate your significant other which is something that you should try to avoid. To assure that both you and your companion are both working towards meeting each other in a smooth and comfortable rate manage time. That being said, waiting is perfectly normal especially when you both may have busy schedules. You could use that time to exchange emails or texts to get to know one another a little more before the big meet. Yes, there are many who become a tad bit nervous before any type of date no matter how long they may have known their love interest.
Psychotherapist and single therapy coach Toni Coleman, recommends that before both you and your significant another meet in person, you should both exchange emails for a few days to a week. That in itself could make planning for your first face-to-face encounter easier. You could both find it easier to fit into your schedule if you plan ahead and it also gives you both time to mentally prepare as well. Coleman also stated, “I recommend that people not wait more than two or three weeks to meet.” It is absolutely fine if you take a professional’s word for it, but in the end, it comes down to how ready both you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are.
Be wary of your busy schedules. I know that both of you may be craving the moment when you get to see each other in the flesh, but you know what they say ‘work before play’. If he or she wants to meet you in three weeks at 10 am and you have a business meeting to attend at that exact same time DO NOT blow off your work. I am sure they will understand if you have no other choice but to reschedule your date. As stated earlier, be sure that you are aware of your schedules especially if you live in different time zones. Look at the time as a type of double-edged sword if you will. As an adult you do have other means of interests you must tend to but by all means, you should not let it become a habit or even an excuse for your nervousness. Your love interest could take constantly blowing them off as a red flag that you are not willing to meet them in person.
In the end, there is nor has there ever been some mandatory timestamp on meeting your beloved in person. Time is a major part of any relationship and when you both are ready you’ll know it. Just be sure to talk about it first and set everything in stone.