18 Signs You Are Polyamorous

Polyamory means having intimate relationships with more than one person at a time with the consent of all partners involved.

It’s a lifestyle choice that embraces open communication, personal freedom, and the belief that love is not meant to be confined to a single person.

Given that society heavily promotes monogamous relationships as the norm, it can be challenging for people to figure out whether they are polyamorous or not.

Being polyamorous is not about being selfish or promiscuous; it’s about recognizing that you can love more than one person at a time without hurting anyone else.

Polyamory comes in many forms – some people maintain multiple committed relationships, while others engage in more casual or fluid dynamics. The key is communication, trust, and ensuring that all parties involved are on the same page.

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If you’ve ever felt restricted by traditional relationship structures, it’s worth considering whether polyamory might be a better fit for your emotional and romantic needs.

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How Do You Tell If You Might be Polyamorous?

1. Feeling unfulfilled in monogamous relationships

If you have consistently found yourself feeling unfulfilled or constrained in monogamous relationships, it may be a sign that you are better suited to polyamory.

You might crave more emotional or intimate variety, or feel that one person cannot meet all of your needs.

It’s possible that you’ve tried various strategies to make monogamous relationships work but still felt like something was lacking.

This ongoing dissatisfaction with traditional relationship structures could mean that a polyamorous lifestyle is a better fit for you.

2. Attraction to multiple people simultaneously

If you have experienced strong romantic or physical attraction to multiple people at the same time, you may be polyamorous.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your current partner; it just shows that you can love more than one person at a time.

Some people find it natural to form deep connections with multiple people, and embracing polyamory can allow you to explore these connections without guilt or shame, as long as everyone involved is aware and consensual.

3. A desire for personal autonomy

If you value your independence and don’t feel the need to merge every aspect of your life with your partner, polyamory might better align with your values.

Polyamorous relationships often emphasize individual autonomy and personal growth alongside relationship commitments.

You may be attracted to the freedom to pursue your interests, friendships, and goals without feeling restricted by the expectations of a traditional monogamous relationship.

This desire for autonomy could be a sign that polyamory is a more suitable relationship model for you.

4. Enjoying deep connections with multiple friends

If you form deep emotional connections with multiple friends and genuinely care for them, this could be an indication of your polyamorous tendencies.

Polyamorous individuals often build strong emotional bonds with their partners, metamours (partners’ partners), and extended networks of loved ones.

If you naturally gravitate towards forming close, supportive relationships with multiple people, it might mean that polyamory aligns with your emotional needs and interpersonal style.

5. Comfort with nontraditional relationship structures

If you are open to exploring unconventional relationship dynamics and feel comfortable rejecting societal norms around monogamy, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Embracing polyamory often involves challenging cultural expectations and redefining what love and commitment mean to you personally.

If you already feel drawn to nontraditional relationships, it may indicate that polyamory is a natural fit for your lifestyle.

6. A history of ethical non-monogamy

If you have previously engaged in consensual non-monogamous relationships, such as open relationships, and found them fulfilling, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

While not all forms of ethical non-monogamy involve the emotional depth associated with polyamory, these experiences may have helped you recognize your capacity for loving multiple people at a time.

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7. An open-minded approach to relationships

If you are open to exploring different relationship styles and dynamics without judgment, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Polyamory encompasses a wide range of relationship structures, from hierarchical polyamory (with primary and secondary partners) to solo polyamory (maintaining independence while engaging in multiple relationships).

Being open-minded and adaptable can help find the relationship model that best suits your needs and desires.

8. A willingness to invest time and energy into multiple relationships

Polyamorous relationships can be time-consuming and emotionally demanding, as they require maintaining connections with multiple partners and potentially their partners as well.

If you are willing to invest the necessary time and energy into nurturing these relationships, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Balancing the needs of multiple partners can be challenging, but it’s an essential aspect of maintaining healthy polyamorous dynamics.

9. Discomfort with possessiveness or jealousy

If you feel uncomfortable with the idea of owning or controlling another person’s romantic or intimate life, this could be a sign that you are more inclined towards polyamory.

Polyamorous individuals often prioritize emotional openness, personal autonomy, and mutual respect over possessiveness or jealousy.

10. A flexible approach to love and commitment

If you believe that love and commitment can take many forms and are open to redefining what these concepts mean in your relationships, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Polyamorous individuals often reject rigid expectations around monogamy and instead embrace a more fluid understanding of love and commitment that accommodates multiple partners.

11. A history of maintaining close friendships with ex-partners

If you have a pattern of maintaining close, supportive friendships with former romantic partners, this could be an indication that you are well-suited for polyamorous relationships.

Polyamory often involves nurturing deep emotional connections with multiple people, including metamours and other members of your extended relationship network.

Being able to maintain positive relationships with ex-partners can be a valuable skill in navigating the complexities of polyamory.

12. Comfort with discussing boundaries and consent

Open communication about boundaries and consent is essential in polyamorous relationships.

If you are comfortable discussing these topics and respect the importance of establishing clear agreements, this could be a sign that you are well-suited for polyamory.

These skills are invaluable in ensuring that all parties involved feel safe, respected, and valued.

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13. A history of successful long-distance relationships

If you’ve successfully navigated long-distance relationships in the past, this could be an indication that you possess the communication skills and emotional resilience necessary for polyamorous relationships.

While not all polyamorous relationships involve distance, the ability to maintain connection and intimacy despite physical separation can be a valuable asset in polyamory.

14. Appreciation for diverse relationship experiences

If you enjoy exploring different types of connections, from deep emotional bonds to casual encounters, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Polyamory offers the opportunity to experience a wide range of relationship dynamics, from committed partnerships to more casual connections.

15. A sense of abundance in love

If you believe that love is not a finite resource and can be shared with multiple people, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Embracing the idea of abundant love allows you to cultivate deep connections with multiple partners without feeling limited by societal expectations around monogamy.

16. Comfort with sharing your partner

If you feel comfortable with the idea of your partner engaging in romantic or intimate relationships with other people and can genuinely support their happiness, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Being able to embrace compersion (feeling happiness for your partner’s happiness with another person) is a crucial aspect of successful polyamorous relationships.

17. A desire to challenge societal norms

If you feel drawn to challenging conventional wisdom around relationships and intimacy, this could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Embracing polyamory often involves questioning societal expectations around monogamy and forging your path based on your values and desires.

18. A history of feeling “different” in relationships

If you always felt like an outsider or”different” within traditional relationship structures, could be a sign that you are polyamorous.

Perhaps you’ve always found it difficult to fit into the conventional mold of monogamous relationships and felt more at home exploring alternative connections.

This sense of being different may indicate that polyamory better aligns with your authentic self.

Read next: 16 Pros and Cons of Open Relationships and Marriages

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