We have all heard the saying, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”, haven’t we?
Yet, it’s a phrase that often seems to slip out of our minds when we’re looking at our own bodies, especially when it comes to those areas we struggle to accept.
Speaking about my journey, one such area for me is my belly. It’s smaller now than it was before, yet still rounder than society’s ideal, more protruding than I wish it to be.
Additionally, covering this somewhat chubby belly of mine is a network of white, silvery stretch marks. These marks are the silent witnesses of my journey from obesity to the healthier version of me that I am today.
One could view these stretch marks as trophies, evidence of a battle well fought and won. However, for me, they have often felt more like reminders of a past I wish to forget.
In fact, this fear only exacerbates when I think about dating. I wonder whether these ‘flaws’ will be a turn-off for potential partners. Will they judge me when they see my stretch marks or chubby stomach?
It feels almost wrong to admit these concerns out loud, yet I find myself genuinely curious. What exactly goes through a guy’s mind when he sees a belly similar to mine on his partner?
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Do Guys Care If You Have a Belly or Stretch Marks?
Let’s go down the rabbit hole and try to figure out what goes on in the minds of men. It’s important to remember that men, just like women, aren’t all the same.
However, gathering anecdotal evidence, insights from surveys, and findings from various studies do give us a general idea of what guys might think when they see a woman with a belly.
The first thing we need to understand is this: yes, some men might notice your belly and your stretch marks. But here’s where it gets interesting: noticing is not equivalent to caring.
There are plenty of men out there who don’t care about your stretch marks or a bit of extra weight around the waist.
They know that real bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that the images thrown at us by media are often manipulated, unattainable standards of beauty.
There are also men who not only accept but also appreciate your body with its curves and softness.
The saying “real women have curves” didn’t pop up out of nowhere. There’s a large group of men who are attracted to women with fuller figures and find roundness and softness appealing.
On the flip side, yes, some men prefer slimmer figures. But it’s essential to remember that preference doesn’t equate to judgment or rejection.
Attraction is a complex phenomenon that includes countless factors such as personality traits, sense of humor, intelligence levels, kindness, and chemistry.
So while your belly could be something that some guys might notice, it isn’t typically the deciding factor in how they view you as a potential partner.
What matters more is you – who you are as an individual, your personality, your values, your essence.
Remember that you are beautiful and deserving of love just as you are – belly or no belly!
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What to Say When a Guy Calls You Thick or Fat?
Unfortunately, you might encounter men who seem to lack basic manners or sensitivity when it comes to discussing a woman’s body (especially on dating apps like Tinder).
Men like these may comment or joke about your body shape or weight, using terms like ‘fat’ or ‘thick’.
It feels wrong that we even have to discuss this, doesn’t it? But let’s face it, some men like to judge women.
And while we cannot control what others say or think, we can certainly control our responses.
So how should you react when a guy calls you thick or fat?
Here are assertive yet respectful responses that you can use:
1. “I’m proud of who I am. Body shaming isn’t attractive.”
2. “Being healthy doesn’t have a specific size or shape.”
3. “I’m not here to meet your or anyone else’s beauty standards.”
4. “My body is my business, and it’s not up for discussion.”
5. “Your approval of my body isn’t necessary.”
6. “Yes, I am ‘thick’. Is that supposed to be an insult?”
7. “I love my body, even if you don’t.”
8. “I’d rather be called ‘fat’ than be disrespectful.”
9. “Guess what? I’m happy with who I am.”
10. “Body positivity is about accepting all bodies, including mine.”
11. “And you are… perfect?”
12. “Some men appreciate curves, maybe you’re not one of them.”
13. “It’s a shame you can’t see beyond physical appearance.”
14. “You’re right, I am thick – thick-skinned and resilient!”
15. “Oh, I didn’t realize we were doing unsolicited body assessments now!”
16. “I find my ‘thickness’ empowering, thank you very much.”
17. “Interesting how my weight seems to be more of a problem for you than for me.”
18. “Why should being ‘thick’ or ‘fat’ be considered a bad thing?”
19. “And? Your point is?”
20. “You must have me confused with someone who cares about what you think.”
21. “Thanks! I love embracing my curves and natural body shape.”
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