You love your boyfriend.
He is kind. Funny. Attractive. Thoughtful.
Then dinner arrives.
He takes one bite.
His mouth opens.
And suddenly you can hear everything.
The chewing.
The smacking.
The little wet sounds you never knew food could make.
Possibly the crunching.
Possibly some breathing.
Possibly, for reasons known only to him, an attempt to tell you a story while all of this is happening.
You stare at your plate.
You try to focus.
You tell yourself:
Do not look at his mouth.
So naturally, you immediately look at his mouth.
Now you are irritated.
Then you feel guilty for being irritated.
Because surely you are not going to let something as ridiculous as chewing affect an otherwise good relationship.
Except tomorrow night he does it again.
And the night after that.
At some point you are sitting across from a man you genuinely love thinking:
If he eats one more potato chip like that, I may have to leave the country.
If your boyfriend chews with his mouth open, you are not shallow for being bothered by it.
And yes, you can tell him.
You just need to do it without making him feel like you have secretly been disgusted by him for your entire relationship.
First, tell him before you start hating dinner
This is the mistake people make.
You notice the chewing.
Say nothing.
You notice it again.
Still nothing.
Six months later, he sits down with a bowl of cereal and you feel genuine rage before the spoon even reaches his mouth.
Now the problem is much bigger because you have been quietly collecting irritation.
He has no idea.
From his perspective, he is simply eating breakfast.
From your perspective, this man has been personally attacking you with cornflakes since February.
That is not fair to either of you.
Tell him while this is still an annoying habit.
Do not wait until hearing him chew causes your eye to start twitching.
What should you actually say?
Keep it normal.
You do not need:
We need to talk.
That phrase should not be wasted on chewing.
Try:
Can I tell you one tiny thing that has been driving me a little crazy? Sometimes you chew with your mouth open and I can hear it really clearly.
That is enough.
Or:
I don’t know if you realize you do this, but you chew with your mouth open sometimes. Would you mind trying to close it?
Simple.
Specific.
He now knows exactly what you mean.
Do not begin with:
You eat like an animal.
Even if that sentence has appeared in your private thoughts.
Some thoughts can remain unpublished.
He may genuinely not know he does it
This is worth remembering.
If somebody has eaten the same way for years, they may never think about it.
Maybe nobody corrected him as a kid.
Maybe his entire family eats this way.
Maybe he only does it when he is distracted.
Maybe it happens with certain foods.
Maybe he is breathing through his mouth because his nose feels blocked.
Maybe he talks while eating and does not realize how much noise that creates.
You are watching him thinking:
How can an adult not know this?
Meanwhile he is thinking about absolutely nothing related to chewing.
That is why one clear comment can sometimes fix the whole problem surprisingly quickly.
Do not tell him at the table while you are furious
This is important.
There he is.
Chew.
Chew.
Smack.
You have reached your limit.
Then:
CAN YOU PLEASE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU EAT?
Now he is embarrassed.
Maybe defensive.
Maybe there are people nearby.
And you sound much angrier than the actual conversation required.
If possible, mention it at a neutral moment.
Later that evening.
In the car.
At home when nobody is eating.
You can still say something gently in the moment if necessary.
Hey, mouth closed please.
If your relationship is comfortable enough for that.
But do not wait until the irritation has turned into rage.
What if he gets embarrassed?
He probably will.
Wouldn’t you?
Imagine your boyfriend saying:
You make a really loud sound when you chew and I have been noticing it for months.
Your immediate response would probably not be:
Wonderful feedback. Thank you for this growth opportunity.
You would feel awkward.
So give him a minute.
Do not interpret embarrassment as proof that you should never have said anything.
Sometimes useful information is embarrassing.
He may say:
Seriously? I do that?
You:
Yeah, sometimes. I don’t think you realize it.
Then move on.
You do not need to keep discussing it until he wants to crawl under the sofa.
The goal is not to make him self conscious every time he eats
You want him to become aware of the habit.
You do not want him sitting across from you thinking:
Am I chewing correctly? Where is my tongue? Can she hear this carrot?
That sounds miserable.
Once you tell him, give him room to adjust.
If he forgets occasionally, a quiet reminder is fine.
A look.
A little:
Mouth.
Whatever works between you.
But do not stare at him during every meal waiting for an error.
You are his girlfriend.
Not a chewing inspector.
What if he says, “Nobody else has ever complained”?
Classic.
Maybe nobody else cared.
Maybe they noticed and said nothing.
Maybe you are more sensitive to eating sounds than the people he has dated before.
None of that changes the fact that it bothers you.
You can say:
That’s fine. I’m just telling you because I notice it a lot when we eat together.
You do not need to find three witnesses.
This is not a trial.
Your discomfort is enough reason to ask nicely.
“But this is how I eat”
Okay.
And now he knows it is affecting the person sitting across from him.
There are habits that are simply part of somebody.
Then there are habits that can be adjusted with a little awareness.
Chewing with your mouth closed generally falls into the second category for most people.
You are not asking him to change his personality.
You are asking him not to show you half chewed pasta during dinner.
I think the relationship can survive the request.
Maybe the noise is the real problem
Some people are less bothered by seeing open mouth chewing than hearing it.
The smacking.
Crunching.
Slurping.
Lip sounds.
You might feel your whole body tense the second eating noises start.
If that is you, be honest about your own sensitivity too.
You can say:
Eating noises really get to me, so I know I am probably extra sensitive to it. It would help me a lot if you could chew with your mouth closed.
That sounds much less like:
You are disgusting
and much more like:
This specific thing is difficult for me.
Both people get to keep their dignity.
What if every chewing sound makes you furious?
Then the issue may not be limited to your boyfriend.
Maybe your coworker eats an apple and you want to leave the room.
Your mother crunches chips and you suddenly lose the ability to follow the conversation.
Someone starts chewing gum beside you and your entire afternoon is ruined.
If lots of eating sounds create a very strong emotional reaction, recognize that your boyfriend may only be one example of a broader sensitivity you have.
That does not mean you should simply suffer through it.
It does mean your solution may include changing the environment too.
Music during meals.
Sitting somewhere with background noise.
Not eating in total silence.
Taking a little space when somebody is eating a particularly loud food.
You are allowed to make life easier for yourself.
The television can save a relationship
I am only half joking.
If the two of you eat dinner in complete silence and all you can hear is:
Chew.
Smack.
Crunch.
Chew.
Of course your attention locks onto it.
Put on some music.
A show.
Something in the background.
Suddenly his chewing may stop being the soundtrack of your evening.
This does not replace telling him to close his mouth.
But sometimes reducing your focus on the sound helps enormously.
Especially if he is trying to improve and is never going to become a completely silent eater.
What if he talks with food in his mouth too?
This may actually be the bigger problem.
He takes a bite.
Immediately remembers an important story.
Apparently the story cannot wait eight seconds.
Now he is speaking while chewing.
You are trying to listen without looking directly into the active construction site inside his mouth.
You can say:
Finish chewing. I can wait.
Light tone.
No drama.
If he keeps doing it:
I really hate talking while there is food in someone’s mouth. Can you finish your bite first?
Reasonable.
You do not have to pretend this does not bother you because he is otherwise a lovely person.
Lovely people can still wait to finish a sandwich before speaking.
What if he chews with his mouth open in restaurants?
This is where embarrassment often enters.
At home, annoying.
At a nice restaurant with your parents?
Suddenly you are watching everyone else to see whether they notice.
He is chewing loudly.
Talking with food in his mouth.
Maybe bits of food are visible.
Your father looks down at his plate.
Your mother takes a very thoughtful sip of wine.
You want to disappear.
If you are embarrassed by his table manners in public, tell him privately before the next dinner.
Not:
My parents think you eat terribly.
That will make him feel judged by an entire family.
Try:
Can you be a little more aware of chewing with your mouth closed when we’re out? I know you don’t notice when you’re doing it.
Specific.
No committee involved.
What if his whole family eats that way?
Well, there is your answer.
You go to dinner with his family.
Dad is chewing loudly.
Brother is talking with a full mouth.
Mom is slurping soup.
Your boyfriend looks completely normal in that environment.
Suddenly you realize nobody ever told him there was another option.
This is why I would avoid making the habit into a character flaw.
He may have grown up around completely different table manners.
You can still have your preference.
Just understand that he may need actual reminders because this behavior feels completely ordinary to him.
You can have different manners without making his family “wrong”
Be careful with this.
Do not say:
Didn’t your parents teach you how to eat?
That sentence will create a much larger argument than you need.
Now you are insulting him and his parents.
Instead:
I grew up being really strict about chewing with your mouth closed, so it is something I notice immediately.
There.
Difference explained.
Request still clear.
Nobody’s mother has been attacked.
What if he thinks you are being controlling?
Ask yourself what you are actually doing.
One request:
Please chew with your mouth closed.
Normal.
Constant monitoring:
Sit properly.
Hold your fork differently.
Stop chewing like that.
Don’t cut it that way.
Use your napkin.
You are drinking too loudly.
Now maybe dinner does feel like etiquette school.
Pick the behaviors that genuinely matter to you.
Not every difference needs correction.
If chewing with an open mouth is the one thing that drives you insane, focus there.
Let the man hold his fork however he wants.
What if you have already told him ten times?
This changes the problem.
The first conversation is:
He did not know.
After ten conversations?
He knows.
Now the question is whether he forgets or simply does not care.
Those are different.
Maybe he catches himself:
Sorry, I forgot.
Then closes his mouth.
Okay.
Habits take time.
But maybe you say:
Can you please chew with your mouth closed?
He responds:
Who cares?
Then continues doing it deliberately.
Now I would be more annoyed.
Not because chewing has suddenly become a major relationship betrayal.
Because you made a small reasonable request and he has decided your comfort is not worth even trying.
That attitude matters more than the chewing.
What if he deliberately chews louder after you mention it?
You know the type.
You say:
The chewing noise is bothering me.
He looks directly into your eyes.
Takes another bite.
Then performs the loudest chew in recorded human history.
Maybe once as a joke.
Fine.
You roll your eyes.
He laughs.
Then stops.
But if he keeps doing it because your irritation entertains him, that is no longer a funny little habit.
He is intentionally doing something he knows bothers you.
You can say:
It was funny once. Now I need you to stop doing it on purpose.
Straightforward.
You do not have to laugh forever because he decided your annoyance is entertaining.
What if you are starting to lose attraction because of how he eats?
Yes, this can happen.
Attraction is not completely separate from behavior.
Maybe you once found him incredibly attractive.
Then every meal became:
Open mouth.
Food visible.
Loud chewing.
Talking mid bite.
Wiping his hands on his shirt.
Eventually you stop thinking:
Handsome boyfriend.
You start thinking:
Please use a napkin.
That can absolutely affect romantic feelings.
The good news is that this is a behavior problem.
So address the behavior before deciding the attraction itself is gone.
If his table manners improve and you immediately feel better, great.
You did not suddenly stop loving him.
You were simply grossed out by dinner.
Do not let disgust grow quietly
This matters.
Disgust is difficult once it starts spreading.
First you dislike how he chews.
Then you start noticing his breath.
Then the crumbs.
Then how he holds food.
Soon everything about eating beside him annoys you.
Meanwhile he has no idea anything is wrong.
Say something early.
Kind honesty is much better than developing a secret hatred of watching the person you love eat.
What if you cannot eat beside him anymore?
Then you definitely need the conversation.
Maybe you have started making excuses.
You eat before he comes home.
Sit farther away.
Turn the television volume up.
Suddenly decide you are not hungry whenever he orders chips.
This is affecting daily life.
Tell him that.
Not dramatically.
I know this probably sounds small, but the open mouth chewing genuinely makes it hard for me to enjoy meals together. I need you to make more of an effort with it.
Now he understands the scale.
What if he has trouble breathing through his nose?
Okay, now we have something practical to consider.
Maybe he says:
I chew with my mouth open because I can’t breathe properly through my nose.
Do not respond:
That’s disgusting anyway.
If breathing through his nose is genuinely difficult or persistently blocked, the situation may not be as simple as remembering manners.
He may want to discuss persistent breathing difficulty with a medical professional.
You still get to dislike the chewing.
But now you understand there may be a reason.
That makes the conversation more about solving a problem together than correcting him.
What if he has braces, dental pain, or another issue?
Same idea.
Temporary changes in chewing can happen for practical reasons.
If his mouth hurts, he may eat differently.
If something changed recently, ask before assuming he has suddenly abandoned all table manners.
Is your mouth bothering you? You have been chewing differently lately.
Sometimes the answer is incredibly boring.
Tooth hurts.
Problem explained.
What if he chews normally around other people but not around you?
Oh.
Interesting.
He goes to dinner with your parents.
Perfect manners.
Mouth closed.
Napkin.
Waits before talking.
At home?
Back to chaos.
This tells you something useful.
He can control it.
He simply relaxes around you.
Some level of relaxation is good.
You want a boyfriend who feels comfortable at home.
But comfort does not have to mean:
All standards have now been abandoned.
You can say:
I know you’re comfortable with me, but I would still really appreciate the same closed mouth chewing you somehow magically remember at restaurants.
Depending on your relationship, he may laugh because he knows you caught him.
Comfort is good. Becoming gross to each other is optional.
Relationships get comfortable.
That is one of the best parts.
You do not need perfect hair at breakfast.
You wear old clothes.
You get sick around each other.
You see each other looking terrible.
Fine.
But sometimes people take:
I can be myself around you
and quietly turn it into:
I no longer need to make any effort around you.
Not the same thing.
You can be deeply comfortable and still brush your teeth.
Close the bathroom door.
Use table manners.
Make a little effort to remain pleasant to live with.
Romance does not require constant perfection.
It does benefit from basic consideration.
What if your husband chews with his mouth open?
Same conversation.
Although after ten years of marriage, you may be considerably less polite about it.
You might already have a look.
He opens his mouth.
You look at him.
He immediately closes it.
Marital communication at its finest.
If this is a habit you have tolerated for years and suddenly cannot stand anymore, ask what changed.
Maybe nothing changed except your patience.
Fair.
Or maybe there is broader resentment making every small habit feel unbearable.
If his chewing has become one of fifteen things suddenly driving you crazy, the relationship may need a bigger conversation than table manners.
What if your girlfriend chews with her mouth open?
Same answer.
This is not a boyfriend only issue.
Do not tell her she looks unattractive while eating.
Just say what the actual habit is.
Sometimes you chew with your mouth open and the eating sounds really bother me. Could you try to keep your mouth closed?
Kind.
Clear.
Useful.
Nobody needs a gender specific chewing policy.
What if your date chews with their mouth open?
This one is interesting because you barely know them.
First date.
They are lovely.
Great conversation.
Then food arrives.
You notice immediately.
Do you say something?
Probably not on Date One unless it is extreme.
You are still figuring out whether you even want Date Two.
If everything else is fantastic, I would not necessarily reject someone over one meal.
Maybe nerves.
Maybe a particular food.
Maybe a completely fixable habit.
If you date them for a while and it continues, then mention it.
But you are also allowed to decide table manners matter a lot to you.
Dating is compatibility.
You do not need a court approved reason to decide somebody is not for you.
What if you feel ridiculous for caring this much?
Tiny habits can have a huge effect when you experience them every day.
A stranger chewing loudly for ten minutes?
Annoying.
Your partner chewing loudly beside you at breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, movie night, road trips, restaurants, holidays, and every evening for the next thirty years?
Suddenly it feels less tiny.
This is exactly why couples should talk about small recurring annoyances.
Not every complaint means the relationship is in trouble.
Sometimes fixing one small habit makes daily life noticeably better.
That is worth five minutes of awkwardness.
The conversation does not need to be cruel to be clear
Try this:
I need to tell you one slightly awkward thing. When you chew with your mouth open, the sound really gets to me. I know you probably don’t realize you’re doing it, but could you try to keep your mouth closed when you eat?
Then stop talking.
Let him answer.
Maybe he says:
I didn’t know I did that.
Great.
Maybe:
Sorry, I’ll try.
Even better.
You have successfully completed the entire difficult conversation in approximately twenty seconds.
No relationship podcast required.
And if he forgets?
Remind him gently.
Not every time.
Not with contempt.
Just:
Mouth.
Or:
You’re doing it again.
If he is actually trying, give the habit a chance to change.
You want improvement.
Not perfection by breakfast tomorrow.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my boyfriend chew with his mouth open?
He may simply have developed the habit and no longer notice it. Some people also chew differently when distracted, talking, congested, or dealing with discomfort while eating.
How do I tell my boyfriend to chew with his mouth closed?
Tell him privately and directly. Try: “I don’t know if you realize it, but you chew with your mouth open sometimes and the sound really bothers me. Could you try to keep your mouth closed?”
Is it rude to tell my boyfriend he chews loudly?
Not if you tell him respectfully. It is usually kinder to mention a fixable habit than secretly become increasingly irritated by it.
Why does my boyfriend’s chewing make me so angry?
You may be especially sensitive to eating sounds, or the habit may have become associated with accumulated irritation. If many people’s eating sounds trigger a strong response, your sensitivity may extend beyond your boyfriend.
My boyfriend talks with food in his mouth. What should I say?
You can say, “Finish chewing first, I can wait,” or tell him directly that talking with food in his mouth bothers you.
My boyfriend chews with his mouth open in public. Should I correct him?
Avoid embarrassing him in front of other people. Mention it privately before or after the meal and ask him to be more aware of it.
What if my boyfriend gets offended when I tell him to chew with his mouth closed?
Give him a moment to get past the embarrassment. Keep the conversation focused on the specific habit rather than insulting the way he eats generally.
What if my boyfriend refuses to chew with his mouth closed?
If he understands that it seriously bothers you and simply refuses to make any effort, the issue becomes less about chewing and more about consideration.
Why does my boyfriend chew normally around others but not me?
He may relax more around you and stop paying attention to his manners. Since that means he can control the habit, it is reasonable to ask him to make the same effort at home.
My husband chews with his mouth open and it drives me crazy. What can I do?
Tell him clearly rather than letting resentment build. Background music or television during meals may also help if eating noises are especially difficult for you.
Is chewing with your mouth open a reason to break up?
Usually it is worth discussing before ending an otherwise good relationship over a potentially fixable habit. If it is part of a larger pattern of poor hygiene, lack of consideration, or refusing reasonable requests, that broader pattern matters more.
Can bad table manners make you lose attraction?
Yes. Repeated behaviors that create disgust or embarrassment can affect attraction. Address them early instead of quietly allowing resentment to grow.
What if I cannot stand eating next to my boyfriend?
Tell him exactly which behavior is making meals difficult. If he changes it and you are still intensely irritated by eating sounds in general, you may need to manage the sound sensitivity as well.
Why does my boyfriend smack his lips when he eats?
He may be unaware of the sound or simply have developed that eating habit. A gentle comment may be enough to make him notice it.
How do I tell someone they eat with their mouth open without embarrassing them?
Tell them privately, keep your tone neutral, describe the specific behavior, and avoid insults. One quiet conversation is far less embarrassing than correcting them in front of other people.
Tonight at dinner, do not stare at him like he is a nature documentary
I know you are going to notice it.
You read this entire article.
Now every chew is going to sound approximately nine times louder.
Try not to sit there watching his jaw.
Just find a private moment and say it.
Nicely.
Then give the man a chance.
Because there is a very possible future here where this becomes a complete nonissue.
You tell him.
He says:
Seriously? I didn’t realize.
He starts keeping his mouth closed.
You stop plotting excuses to avoid eating popcorn beside him.
Everyone wins.
And if he occasionally forgets?
A look across the table may eventually be all you need.
That is what relationships are full of, by the way.
Not grand declarations every day.
Tiny adjustments.
You learn that she hates wet towels on the bed.
He learns that you cannot stand open mouth chewing.
Someone stops leaving cabinets open.
Someone learns that “I’m fine” occasionally requires follow up.
You annoy each other.
You talk.
You adjust.
Then you order dessert.
Just maybe avoid anything exceptionally crunchy until the new habit settles in.
