It’s a little frustrating when you meet an amazing guy and everything seems to be going great…until you sleep together. Then he doesn’t call or acknowledge anything about your time together. You can’t help but feel rejected about it and wonder if it’s somehow your fault.
Here’s the thing: it’s may not have had anything to do with you. Instead of fretting and stressing about it being your fault, take a look at these reasons why guys don’t call after sleeping with them.
He Saw it as a Casual Hook-up
While you saw it as the beginnings of a beautiful and serious relationship, he might have seen it as nothing more than a casual hook-up. Sure, you both hit it off pretty well before getting into bed together, but that may only mean so much in a no strings attached situation. It is possible neither of you properly expressed your intentions for the relationship. It is also entirely possible that you thought you were sending your message loud and clear about what you want and it was misinterpreted. Men are not known for their communication skills, so he probably thinks that you were both on the same page and failed to realize that wasn’t the case. To him, he was clear about the relationship being casual and assumed you understood. Except he wasn’t, and you didn’t.
If you use hook-up dating apps such as Tinder to meet guys, most of the time you will run into guys who are only looking to get into your pants. That’s why many guys you meet on Tinder or similar hook-up apps will not call you back. If you are looking for something more serious than a one-night stand, you might want to consider joining a dating website that caters for a more mature singles. Match.com is a great place to start if you are looking for a long term boyfriend or even husband. View pics for free now on Match.com, the #1 dating site!
He’s Waiting for YOU to Call
There are no clear-cut rules that say that the man is the one to call after sex. The rules for after sex interactions are a little vague, to begin with, and not everyone has an established understanding of what to do. In some cases, a guy may want to let the girl take the lead and he’s the one who’s waiting for a call. It’s also possible he has his own fears about what you thought about the sex. Maybe he’s afraid that you thought he was terrible in bed or he’d sound too needy or clingy if he calls right away. If he’s not calling you after sex, then he may be stressing out over the same things as you while he waits for your call.
Things Didn’t Click
Some relationships are better off staying in the realm of friendship rather than moving forward as lovers. Introducing sex into a relationship acts as a turning point, and sometimes things just don’t click the way they did before. The sex itself could have been absolutely fantastic, but any emotional connection that was present beforehand might have been absent. You might not have picked up on it at the time, but it is possible that he did. The reason then as to why he’s not calling may be that he thought you didn’t feel that connection either. After a bit, you might realize that you didn’t feel it either.
How long has it been since the two of you slept together? It’s one thing to freak out and be upset that a guy hasn’t called if it’s been a week since you had sex, but it’s another if it happened yesterday. There are other things going on in both of your lives that may make it difficult to immediately talk after such a major relationship milestone like sex. As bothersome as it is, try to be reasonable about the wait. Time can also be a reason thanks to more issues with communication or unclear relationship rules. Everyone has a different stance on how long it should be before you call someone after the first date, so it wouldn’t be surprising if there were also conflicting ideas about how long to call after sleeping together.
The Sex Wasn’t Great
Thinking that the sex wasn’t great isn’t an uncommon conclusion to reach when a guy won’t call you afterward. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it was anyone’s fault. The sex could have been great for you but not for him, and vice-versa. Whose fault it is may not even matter since there are several contributing factors that could have affected the outcome. Things that happen in the heat of the moment can affect how the entire experience is remembered. Maybe something happened that was a turn off for him and you didn’t catch it at the time. You might have attempted to hide your dislike of something that was done in bed and he still noticed or he may have misinterpreted your positive responses as negative ones.
What Happened Afterwards?
Think about what you both did after sex. Was there cuddling? Pillow talk? Did you simply get dressed and leave? Roll over and go to sleep? The actions you take after the deed is done can serve as a signal about how you feel about it and where you’d like to go from there. Once again, it’s another aspect of relationship rules and miscommunicating. He may have thought that you were dismissing him after sex or that you were telling him that it was bad because of him by what you did afterward. The same could be said about what he did after and you might not have thought anything of it.