Many men cringe at the idea of dating a single mom, let alone marrying them. That’s entirely fair; parenthood is not for everyone, and there are definitely legitimate reasons. However, that goes both ways; there are also definite positives to dating a woman who has a child or children. Here’s a list of both the advantages and disadvantages of marrying a single mom.
Disadvantage: The Kids
Now, this is not always going to be a disadvantage. If you are good with kids, or if you get along with the well, then this won’t be a problem at all. However, you have to keep in mind; you’ll never be able to separate her from her kids, or vice versa. They are a package deal. So if you just don’t want to be around kids, or if her tots in particular just drive you nuts, you probably shouldn’t commit yourself to her.
Advantage: She’s Low Maintenance
One of the biggest turnoffs for many guys is when a girl demands a great deal from them, in terms of time, money, effort, what have you. Most single moms won’t be as demanding. They’ve had to go without and sacrifice their own desires for the good of their children. This means they’ll be less likely to always want things to go their way since with their kids it’s often not an option. It also means that she’s going to be much less selfish than a person who’s never been forced to put someone else first.
Disadvantage: You’re Not Her Top Priority
The simple fact of being with a woman with a child is that you cannot be her top priority. Her kids always and forever will have to come first, and that’s ok. If her kids didn’t come first, then she would be a terrible mother. Putting her kids first doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you; after all, she puts her kids before herself, and that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about herself. Still, if you need your partner to always prioritize you, then you might not want to marry a single mother.
Advantage: They Are Nurturing
Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes. You will have days that you are feeling absolutely terrible, and you just need someone to look after you. Well, mothers deal with sick kids that are entirely dependent on them when they are sick all the time. Therefore, if your partner is a single mom, she can likely take care of you when you need it. This extends to many other things too; laundry, darning clothes, cooking. All sorts of gaps you might have had in your own education might be filled by her time in the school of taking care of kids.
Disadvantage: The Ex
There’s another thing you’re getting along with her kids when you get serious with a girl who is a single mom: her ex. Sometimes the ex won’t be in the picture, or others, tragically, the ex might have died instead of just breaking up with her, but the majority of the time, marrying a single mom means dealing with their ex, and an ex who is more involved in her life than the average one is. After all, he is the father of her children, and you’ll never be able to completely get rid of him. Hopefully, he’s a decent guy, but it’s possible that he is unstable, or resents you for replacing him.
Advantage: You Can Have Your Own Time
Your single mom wife will not be constantly after you to spend time with her. She’ll want you to, of course, but not all the time. She will want to still be able to spend quality time with her children. This means that you can be afforded a certain amount of freedom that you wouldn’t have otherwise. If you like playing sports, or video games, or are a hobbyist in general, having a single mom for a wife means you’ll be able to make the time apart for your hobby.
There’s one more factor that needs to be discussed but can’t be labeled in the list because it’s not an advantage or disadvantage. It just depends on you. A single mom is not going to want a casual relationship, much of the time. They’ll be looking for something more serious. So if you only want something light, single moms are not the way to go, but if you really are looking for the perfect person to marry, so are they.