Should you Kiss on the First or Second Date?


Before you decide for yourself on whether to kiss on the first or second date you should take a closer look at why a kiss is so important. A kiss is as mysterious as it is fascinating to all of us. Scientists aren’t certain when or why kissing began, but it is now a regular part of the human existence. It is one those universal behaviors that span the globe and embeds itself into every culture.

Considered to possibly originate from the connection of primate mothers and their offspring, kissing has evolved from a mean of survival to a promotion of social bonding. Commonly perceived today as a romantic gesture between two people, kissing is a physical and chemical transaction that provides signals that help us make a vital life choice: a mate. We all view kissing in very different perspectives. Some consider it a nonchalant social norm as much as waving and shaking hands are. Some consider it a sacred action to be waited for until they’re standing at the altar. Regardless of when or where, or how it’s perceived, kissing will usually evoke the same feelings and chemical reactions, all of which are linked to the simple biological goal of procreation.

Therefore, because of its complexity, kissing is handled differently by every person. Should you kiss on the first or second date? Well, that’s really up to the two individuals involved. Kissing is a sign of attraction and affection, so mutual attraction is a necessity of the moment. Some feel that on the first date; some don’t until many dates later.

We should also consider the different perspectives of men and women on the subject. Men have this unspoken pressure from society to be the initiators, which is natural. However, they aren’t perfect and are often very confused on how to go about a relationship. We probably expect the man to make the first move, but sometimes they don’t. Their greatest goal in romance is to impress the girl. Unless he was a weirdo or just very bad at picking up social cues, he wouldn’t kiss a girl if she’s showing unimpressed signs.

For women, they naturally take a little longer to warm up to romance than men do. Women are selective; they choose carefully. As a result, they likely view the kiss with a little more importance than men do. Though kissing evokes the same feelings, its meaning can differ. For some, a kiss could be a way to test the waters. For others, a kiss is a clear decision of commitment. Thus, it would be a good idea to figure out how your date defines a kiss before it happens to avoid awkward and complicated situations. The last thing you want is to send the wrong message and end up in a sticky place.

Kissing is a choice just as much as anything else and so there shouldn’t be any outline or expectation of it on a first or second date. The point of a kiss is to send a specific message. So, if the message is there to send, then, by all means, pucker up. If on that first date there was a lot of sexual tension, or there was a mutual attraction during or before the date, or you really liked your date and are certain and ready to become more intimate with them, then a kiss is acceptable.

If there’s no attraction or fascination, there’s uncertainty in a future relationship, a kiss feels scripted into the night, or you just don’t feel up to it, then hold back. If it’s different on the second date, then go ahead and send that message. If it’s not, then establish an understanding and move on. Considering that kissing is for that specific message (aka “I like you, I want to be with you”), it wouldn’t make sense to continue with a third or fourth date if there’s been nothing to provoke that message. That is, unless, you hold a certain standard of waiting until marriage. In that case, you send the message in other ways.

So, should you kiss on the first date or the second date? Or maybe even after that? Honestly, go with the flow. It’s impossible to formulate exactly something that is not fully understood by the human population. Especially when it comes to the process of dating, relationships, and romance, trust your instincts and trust your judgment. Some may argue that boldness wins; others would suggest caution. Both could be the answer for the same circumstance. We’re all capable of picking up cues, so test the waters and look for the signs of which path to take. Every situation is unique, so one may garner a different response to another. Also, read- Dating Tips for Making Love for the First Time with Your Boyfriend

Did YOU know?

1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club

2) 38% of singles are using online dating

3) One in six marriages now begin online