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Social media is the backbone of social interaction in the internet era, so if you want to date in the 21st century, learning to flirt online is a necessity. It’s even more important to be charming and personable in real life, of course, but if you can’t draw them in digitally, you won’t be able to transition to that real-world step anytime soon.
Most real-life relationships start with matches on dating apps nowadays; dating apps present their own field of challenges, but segueing into a flirty conversation isn’t one of them. After all, you both know what you’re there for. If you’re interested in someone on your Facebook feed, however, it’s not so cut and dry. What is the best way to let someone on Facebook know that you’re interested? Here are some dos and don’ts.
Tell a Joke
This one has to be flirt 101, in any setting. Getting a person to laugh is a huge step towards getting them to like you. It’s a very tricky one to do right, though. Most “funny” pickup lines are lame and overused at best, and straight up sexist or insulting at worst. The joke shouldn’t be about how well you can recite things that supposedly worked for other people, it should be a preview of the fun and funny you. Try to go for something that is innocent, wholesome, and clever, and never, ever go for a dirty joke with your first shot.
Everyone likes being complimented, especially by someone they might be interested in. One thing you should definitely keep in mind: don’t just compliment someone on their looks. It’s great to have a person’s good looks be part of what you compliment about them, but if you just say they looked great and leave it at that, it makes it sound like attractiveness is the only quality in them you’re interested in. Try to use what you know about them; if they said something in class recently, tell them you found it insightful. If they have a profile pic while skydiving, tell them how courageous you think they are for doing it.
Mention a Shared Interest
Relationships are built on shared interests. If there’s a show you both like, a sports team you both root for, an author you’re both a fan of, tell them about it. The shared interest will present an instant connection between you two, and give you something you can continue talking about immediately. Gets an intimate conversation going immediately.
Treat them like a Person
It’s easy to put someone on a pedestal when you have a crush on them. Always remember that they are a person first, and the object of your interest second. Above all else, treat them like anyone else you would; don’t change your opinions or pull your punches because you’re interested. People respond well to respectful disagreement, and no one wants to date a sycophant.
So now you have your flirty conversation going. While we’re here, though, there are a few things to make sure you don’t do.
Use One Word Responses
One word responses grind a conversation to a halt. If they ask if you like snowboarding, and you say “Yup,” there’s nowhere for them to go. Instead, tell them about your recent snowboarding trip to Colorado. If they say that they dance, ask them what performances they’ve been in. If you ever find yourself saying a one-word answer, make sure to add it, and add another track for the conversation to go on. One word answers generally mean that you aren’t interested, and since you should be upfront if that’s the case, there is no situation where you should be using one-word answers.
Pretend to Share Interests
Having shared interests is wonderful; pretending to share them is not. If they are into horses, you don’t need to pretend to be a rider. Having different interests can be as much of a connection as sharing them; instead of discussing the minutiae of a topic like two experts, you can each teach each other about the interests they know nothing about.
Be Creepy or Sexual
It doesn’t matter how much a person might theoretically wish to have sex with you; if you start a conversation off asking about sex directly, they will be turned off. This is because of the same principle as complimenting them past their looks; if you approach directly about sex that implies that’s the only aspect of their person that you are interested in. If you approach them about their artwork, their conversation, their athleticism, whatever makes them “them”, then it shows you are interested in them as a person, not just as a sex object, and makes it more likely that they will want to open up to you.
Persist Past Disinterest
No means no, in person and online. If a person makes it clear that they are not interested, then let it go. Pestering them isn’t going to change their mind, nor should you want a relationship with someone you had to pester into it. Even if they don’t outright say no, if they don’t seem to be into it (because, for instance, they’re using one-word answers), just write this one off. There are plenty of other potential matches for you, and harassing this one isn’t going to help either of you.
You can use the same tips to meet girls on all other dating websites. After practicing flirting with girls on Facebook, you might want to join the actual dating website. Facebook is great for chatting with girls but many of them will be unwilling to give you their numbers or meet up with you in person. That’s where dating sites such as Match might have an advantage. View pics for free now on Match.com, the #1 dating site!