As much as we all would hate to admit it, starting a conversation of any type could leave one’s mind drawing a blank. Facebook may have its convenient moments, but does it really help someone gain the courage to actually ask someone out over it or is it just the mind believing such a thing?
Mix that in with communicating with someone you like and your mind could find itself in a whirlwind. After all, what more is there to talk about after a simple “hey or “hello”? Truth be told, some would say it is easier to speak to your love interest online. Below are a few tips on how you could begin a conversation with a guy on Facebook.
With any type of communication, it is best to put yourself out there as someone who isn’t too shy. Yes, there are millions of introverts in the world, but there comes a time where you’ll find yourself being in charge of striking up a conversation. Before you PM (Private message) the guy you are interested in, motivate yourself. All that doubt you have built within yourself, you should let that go. Even if the feeling finds its way back to you after the conversation, you cannot revert back to it when communicating with your love interest. Doing so could make him see you as the standoffish type or even someone who thinks they are too good to converse.
The last thing you would want is to notice that your message was left on seen without any reasoning behind it.
Get to know him
Yes, he may be quite the charmer, but before stepping into a full-fledged conversation, it is best to get to know him. Unfortunately, we live in a time where catfishing has become common. Catfishing is a form of identity theft where an account user may pretend to be someone else. They will use photos that are not of them to put off a façade of a life that they do not live. Once you have found out more about the user and have determined that the account is authentic, your next step will be to learn of their likes and dislikes. These two factors could be used as a conversation starter. If the conversation deepens, you will also learn what topics to avoid.
When you begin to converse, the goal is to win him over not drive him away by a certain topic.
Use the suggestion method
This is where your profile research will come in handy especially if you both have similar interests. For an example, let’s say that both you and the guy you are interested in share a mutual love for wine tasting. You may have taken notice of this fact while scrolling through their timeline. You could message him with a request for suggestions. If you are lucky they could invite you to their favorite spots in the future. That being said, do not go into extreme detail about his hobby. It is fine to know that he enjoys the same hobbies as you, but if you do not want to dwell on one topic. You can throw in some of your own knowledge, but who knows maybe they will offer to teach you new information.
Use mutual friends to your advantage
Facebook has a feature that shows mutual friends to others that are looking at your account and vice versa. If you have a friend or family member who is a mutual friend of his, you can learn more about the type of person he is through them. You can even ask to group chat, so you won’t feel as nervous. Your friend or family member could break the ice and let you and the guy take the conversation from there. Be sure to inform your friend or family member of your intentions before making or taking part in any group chat with him. It will be off-putting to all of you, especially if he has no idea who you are and why both you and your mutual friend added him to the group chat.
Look out for both the best and the possible worst
Whether you are looking for a basic friendship or relationship, there are some people who may not have time and the means to talk, but do not take that as a bad sign. When you do feel it is the right time to talk to them hope for the best, but also go in knowing that they may be different from what you expected. If they are, you can still pursue a friendship, so go for it. Strike up a conversation with a compliment, bring up common interests, and be sure to keep the conversation light and inviting.