Online dating isn’t much of a new thing today, but it’s still a very fascinating and equally confusing thing. So many do it but few do it successfully. That success often times comes down to how well they are with the messaging part. This is where you can make or break a potential date. Whether you’re the one to message first or you’re responding to a message, there are a few common ground rules to follow in order to claim victory.
- Be brief. You don’t have to write a novel to the person. A few sentences here and there is usually how a typical conversation goes. If there’s something you want to say, then say it. Don’t take ages to get it out. It’s not likely that someone will have the patience to read a paragraph-long message about one’s single life.
- Be original. Everyone knows the typical one-liners and clichés; don’t go near them. Say something they’ve never heard before. Take something from their profile and comment on it (hint: commenting on looks isn’t very original).
- Be normal. Not boring, just normal. In other words, don’t be overly weird and creepy. Obviously you want to stand out, and you can do that in interesting ways that don’t freak other people out.
- Be patient. Send one message at a time, and wait for them to reply. And if they don’t reply, then move on. You’ll just come on too hard or appear desperate when you send five messages at once. It wouldn’t be worth it if they’re not interested anyway.
- Be substantial. Besides commenting on their appearance, which is a given in dating, say something worthwhile about their personality, or whatever they put on their profile. Don’t be vague or boring.
- Be specific. When commenting on their profile, choose something specific to focus on. This lets them know that you really paid them some attention and have deep interest. It also helps to be specific in your profile description too. Vagueness never gets anyone anywhere.
- Be reasonable. If they state that they want a local relationship and you live far away, or they just want a quick fling and you’re hoping for something deep and intimate, don’t message them. They are likely not to respond. Don’t waste his or her time or yours for that matter, with someone who isn’t looking for the same thing. Know where you stand and look for the common ground.
- Be polite. This should be a given, although sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Not only should you talk in a polite tone, just as you would with a stranger on the street, but you should be kind in the face of rejection, too. Make mature decisions when choosing your words. No one is entitled to please you.
- Be clean. Speaking of mature, avoid the vulgarity. Stay away from curse words and innuendos. When there’s a relationship and that’s how both of you roll, then you can be loose. But when you’re hoping to meet someone special, talking about sexual stuff won’t look good from the start.
- Be optimistic. No one wants to chat with a wet blanket, much less date one, so don’t be one. Don’t take this time to complain about your lackluster love life or your unmet needs. That will drive away anyone in a second. Be positive with your words.
- Be bold. Sometimes, it’s your turn to jump in and take the first step. Be confident with your response and message first. Confidence is attractive, whether it’s shown online or in person.
- Be realistic. Don’t ask the deep stuff until further down the relationship. It likely won’t initiate conversation when you start off with airing your dirty laundry and asking for theirs in the first few messages. Be logical with what you share. After all, it’s all going on the internet.
- Be conversational. A collection of statements will quickly make a conversation brief and boring. Initiate conversation and ask questions. Everyone enjoys talking about him or herself, so ask away.
- Be yourself. It would be an embarrassment if you met this someone in person and you weren’t at all like your profile showed or how you came across in your messages. First of all, don’t lie. Second of all, be true to yourself. Online dating is about selling yourself, so advertise honestly.
Online dating doesn’t have to be as strange and as difficult as it first appears to be. You put yourself out there, so don’t sell yourself short by messing up the messaging stage. View pics for free now on Match.com, the #1 dating site!