Getting nervous when you’re around your crush or when you’re on a first date with a guy can make things difficult and awkward. It can get embarrassing very quickly; you get tongue-tied and maybe say or do the wrong thing.
Trying to not be nervous around a guy can be a little more complicated than simply telling yourself to not be nervous. If anything, it might make things worse.
So what are you supposed to do? If you want to not be nervous around a guy, there are a few tips that you can follow. Consider using more than one or even combining different tactics to help ease those nerves.
Did YOU know?
1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club
2) 38% of singles are using online dating
3) One in six marriages now begin online
Why Are You Nervous Around Your Crush?
If you don’t know why you are nervous around a guy, then it’s going to be all the more difficult to stop being nervous. Maybe you’re just shy and it’s a natural response that you have. It may be the first time you felt this way about someone or you haven’t felt this way about someone for a long time. Whatever the cause, it’s best to be aware of it so you can approach the problem and calm yourself down.
Don’t stress yourself out over the reason either. It’s understandable to have some jitters around a guy you like or on the first date. You want to put forth the best impression possible so you’re developing some anxiety over it. It’s okay, you can get through this.
Find Your Confidence
Nervousness’ greatest weakness is confidence, and finding yours can be your greatest weapon. Giving your confidence a much-needed boost will not only allow you to beat your nerves but also make you feel better overall. It might not be instantaneous, but you can build it up so that you become less nervous whenever you are around that special guy.
Start off slowly when building your confidence. Tell yourself that you are awesome. Take those compliments and remind yourself that the words are true. Do little things to give you that daily boost like listening to music. Get yourself pumped up and you will gradually be able to naturally use your confidence to squash your nerves.
Most of the time, you’re nervous around a guy because your mind is constantly racing. You keep thinking about every little detail: your appearance, the things you say, does he think you’re funny, etc. Rein it in! As you focus on everything and anything, you’re only adding to your nervousness. Overthinking can cause you to become even more stressed out than you were, to begin with.
If you find it hard to get yourself to stop overthinking, chose to focus on one or two things. Maybe it’s the topic of your conversation or something he’s wearing. If focusing on something about him only adds to the nerves, trying focusing on something directly behind him. Paying attention to something you can physically feel, like texture, can also help. Treat it as a way for your mind to get back on track and cut out distractions.
Just Breathe When Talking to a Guy You Like
It’s a bit cliché, but you can calm yourself down by focusing on your breathing. Nervousness and stress can cause your heart and respiratory rates to increase, which only fuels your nerves. By reminding yourself to breathe, you can help your body physically calm down.
If you know you’re going to be around him, take a couple deep breaths before you even see him. Think of it as a preemptive strike against the nervousness. The calmer you are, the less power your nervousness will have over you.
Don’t Stare at Your Crush
Nervousness can sometimes make it feel like your brain has shut down. You can’t think, can’t focus, and next thing you know you’re staring off into space. Eye contact is a key part of communicating and the occasional flirty look can knock a guy off his feet, but staring can send the wrong message.
Likewise, don’t avoid looking at him as a means of preventing a thousand-yard stare. If you look at everything but him, he’s going to misinterpret it as a sign that you’re not interested. Find a balance; switch back and forth between looking at him for a few moments to looking at a sign that’s right over his shoulder.
Keep the Topic Neutral
Going too deep into specifics can cause you to scramble during a conversation. You’ll be too busy trying to think of an answer that your nerves will see it as a chance to run unhindered. Topics that you might not know much about, or that make you uncomfortable can also add to your nerves.
On your end of the conversation, try to go with neutral topics or topics that involve a shared interest between the two of you. You’ll find that talking with him, even when you’re a bundle of nerves, will be a lot easier. This will add to your comfort level and allow you to relax.
You’re Not the Only One Who Get Nervous!
Chances are you’re not the only one who’s nervous. Many guys will get nervous or shy around girls, especially if they like her. It might not be easy to tell, as some people can hide their nervousness without seeming fake. Reminding yourself that you are not the only one can really help make things easier—sometimes for the both of you!