Do you feel like you are the one that is always the initiator when it comes to sex with your girlfriend? If not, are you wary of initiating sex because you think it is not on her mind and you will be seen as a “dog”? Couples should strive to be on the same sexual wavelength. One of the worst feelings a guy can possibly have is the feeling that your girlfriend does not desire you sexually to the degree that you desire her. It is a form of rejection that is hard to understand as a man. You think that sex is one less thing to worry about when you start sleeping with someone.
So it is up to you to encourage her to reciprocate your feelings. The thing is it is not as easy as it sounds. A woman’s sexual desire responds more to situational and environmental factors. Whereas a man’s sexual desire tends to be more instinctive and spontaneous. So men, search for ways to make sex exciting for your girlfriend because, for her, it has to be sex worth having.
It starts with the cell phone.
Did YOU know?
1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club
2) 38% of singles are using online dating
3) One in six marriages now begin online
Text your girlfriend. You are constantly thinking about her anyway. Why not let her know that? Text her jokes. Tell her a story. Be thoughtful. Create a flirty dialogue with your girlfriend and she will be thinking about it all day. Just because she is not right there beside you does not mean that you cannot be sexual with her. It is all about the build up, and flirty texting is an excellent way to plant the seed in her mind. Your girlfriend will react positively if you show her a little bit of love via the text.
Set the stage.
If the situation is cluttered, so will her mind. It is not as difficult as it sounds. Clean up your place, turn off the television, and give her your attention. A woman will not have sex if she is focused on other things. So create a little bit of an ambiance. You do not have to light candles every night. Do the dishes and spray some Febreze. Just showing her that you care enough to make her feel a certain way will make her want you more.
Work on your appearance.
This is an easier one than it sounds. Everyone has their own insecurities about their appearance. But if you are in a relationship, then your girlfriend has already accepted you as you are. Working on your appearance just means caring about your appearance. It is a simple as being presentable. Your girlfriend will always tell you when you look nice. And you can take her word for it. Putting on some nice clothes will put you in her good graces. And later, she just might want to take them off.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
Kissing is a gateway sexual act. It leads elsewhere. As a teenager, you dreaded kissing. Turns out, it was never that hard, to begin with. Where men might have problems kissing is in the “exercising control” department. As mentioned earlier, men are instinctual. But you need to rein it in. A sloppy, open-mouthed kiss is never a good place to start. Build up is important for women, and men just need to accept it. If you want her to want you, kiss her.
For you, having sex five times a week may be your ideal amount. For her, doing it once a month may be preferred. But if she is the girl you want to be with, you will need to approach that topic with some compassion. Understand that when you are with someone, it will never be just about your needs. Of course the same goes for her. It is not okay for either party to ignore their partner’s ideas about sex. Do not complain about not having sex enough. That will backfire like a stone tied to a slingshot. And even if she feels bad about, no one wants pity sex.
The best way to start having more sex is just to be a man that is irresistible to her. She already likes you. Hell, maybe she even loves you. So men, focus your energy on making your girlfriend feel cared for. You have to carry yourself in a certain way, not just when the time comes, but every day. Be sexy. Live sexy. And your girlfriend will see you as sexy.