Intimacy in any form is a highly important aspect of any relationship. For many couples, sex is how they gauge the health of the relationship and how satisfied they are with their partner. Unfortunately, it’s often a lack of satisfaction in the bedroom that creates a divide in a relationship and ultimate leads to its end. More often than not, it’s the women who are unhappy.
Keeping your girlfriend sexually satisfied can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. Paying attention to what you’re doing and trying some of the following suggestions can help you make your girlfriend happy in bed.
Change It Up
When you and your girlfriend first started having sex, you probably kept it simple as you learned about each other and got your bearings. Going with the basics can be a great way to start off an intimate relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go beyond that. While sex can be exciting and fantastic, sticking with the same old missionary position can make it as monotonous as a day at the DMV. Change up the moves you’re using in bed and try new things.
Know the Territory
Sorry to say it, but you might not know where you’re going in the bedroom. For a woman to enjoy sex, or even reach orgasm, her partner needs to hit all the right spots in all the right ways. Unfortunately, most people are unware of how to do so due to the additional complexities of a woman’s body verses a man’s. As some women are not familiar enough with their own bodies to point their partner in the right direction, asking her for directions (so to speak) may not be an option.
Take the time to explore your girlfriend’s body and find where all the right buttons are. Even if you’ve been together for a long time and you think you know your way around, there might be a few things you’ve forgotten or were unware of. Some women may need stimulation in multiple places to reach orgasm, so figuring out that combination can seriously improve things.
Don’t Be Selfish
You’re not the only one involved in the relationship and you should definitely not act as such in bed. Being selfish and focusing on your pleasure instead of your girlfriend’s may be the cause of why she’s unhappy. Selfishness in bed, even if it’s unintended, can make her feel like you’re using her for sex and that that’s the only value she has to you.
The easiest way to make sure that you’re not being selfish in bed is to focus on her pleasure. Do things that she likes. Going down on her can be hit or miss, especially if you’re inexperienced in oral or not hitting the right spots. Sex also isn’t a race to the finish line and your girlfriend isn’t the competition that you need to beat in order to win. Try to let her reach orgasm before you; women have a shorter down time in between orgasms than men, so she’s not going to say she’s done and walk away as soon as she finishes.
Set the Mood
Satisfaction from sex is not limited to what goes on when the clothes come off. For many women, the non-physical approaches that you use beforehand can have as much of an effect as what you do in bed. Sex has as many psychological aspects as it does physical, so getting her mentally in the mood for sex will help her enjoy it later.
Setting the mood may require you to do a little more work in preparation for sex. Doing things such as helping her destress—because stress can wreak some serious havoc on intimacy—or dropping a few flirtatious hints throughout her day can be simple things you can do to set the mood.
One of the reasons why some women are not happy in bed is because, within the relationship, romance is dead. This is often a big issue because a lack of romance can create stagnation, which can affect every aspect of a relationship.
Being romantic doesn’t have to be expensive or require a lot of time and energy. Actually, romance can be introduced into the bedroom in small doses. Be spontaneous in bed and surprise her from time to time. Cuddle afterwards instead of rolling over and going to sleep. Use seduction in bed and not just as a means of getting her into bed.
As much as you might wish, you can’t read your girlfriend’s mind to find out what’s wrong. If you think your girlfriend isn’t satisfied in bed, talk to her about it. She’s not going to think less of you for asking about how she feels in bed. If anything, it’ll show that you care about her and her pleasure.
Talking about what you’re doing during sex for her can seriously help get you both on the same page. Maybe you’re not doing enough foreplay. Maybe that position that you really like, for example, is uncomfortable or even painful for her. Likewise, she might like something that you do in bed, but you don’t do it often enough or long enough for her to really enjoy it.