The internet dominates more and more of our lives, even our sex lives. You might have a long distance partner or a spouse who is in another town on a business trip, or you might even just be poking around on a dirty chat site, looking for a digital companion for the night.
Whatever the reason, the advent of webcams on all our computers has made online sex a significant part of being a sexual being in the modern era. Many people aren’t quite comfortable with it yet, but online sex can be almost as rewarding as skin-to-skin sex. Here are a few tips to have as rewarding an experience as possible.
Did YOU know?
1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club
2) 38% of singles are using online dating
3) One in six marriages now begin online
Before you start your connection up, you want to prepare for your session. Put on something sexy for the occasion; not just underwear, but a full suit or evening dress. The more there is to your outfit, the more you can take off. If you want to do some body-scaping, take care of it in the shower beforehand. Light some candles, dim the lights, put on some tunes, whatever you want to set the mood properly. Oh, and you should probably make sure you’ve paid the internet bill recently, then fire up your video chat service.
Your partner would probably say they want to see you naked as quickly as possible. Don’t give them what they want. Instead, when you take off your clothes, remove them slowly, showing just a bit more skin each time, and stopping at each stage of undress for them to anticipate and appreciate. If you slow the pace, they will too, and you will both be yearning for each other’s body. Perhaps you can play a game to prolong the tension; P2P poker is easy enough to arrange, and a game of strip poker would get you both out of your fancy outfits in a perfectly anticipatory fashion.
One of the worst things to happen with an online sex session is dead air, or even worse, something like “I’m not sure what to do” or “I don’t know what to say.” With your lack of physical contact, you will be reliant entirely on what you say and what you do. Dares fulfill both, they give you something to say, and them something to do, and vice versa when the positions switch. You can even prepare for this step beforehand if you don’t trust your ability to come up with good dares on the spot. Start off light, like trying to lick a nipple or make out with a picture on the wall, and slowly build up to things like inserting their hand brush into their ass or doing a lap around the building naked. As the two of you have dared more and more back and forth, you might find yourself doing some things you wouldn’t have expected, and asking even more of them as revenge. All in all, it’s a fantastic way to push boundaries, and you’ll probably discover some things that you are surprised you enjoy.
Encourage and Admire
Putting yourself forward is tough; putting yourself on camera naked is exponentially tougher. At every step, let your partner know how much you appreciate it, how good they look, how turned on you are. The more you reassure and compliment them, the more responsive and open they will be.
Online sex is, at the core of it, communication, so lapses in communication that would be acceptable in bed simply aren’t here. Even if you have been uncomfortable with it in the past, push yourself, and make sure you use dirty talk. If you don’t know how just stick to things you like, things that you want them to do, things they are doing that they like, in the most raunchy manner you are comfortable. Avoid clinical terms like “penis” or “vagina,” and instead tell them how much you want their cock, or how hot their pussy is.
They won’t be able to feel you vibrate under their touch, so their only feedback of how you are feeling is the noises you’re making, so be sure to moan as much as you can. You can amplify it a bit, but don’t ham it up like a bad pornstar. Just allow yourself to emote your feelings without any feelings of shame. If you grew up silently masturbating in a conservative household, this might be tough, but try to let go, and know you’re with someone who’s in the same position of vulnerability as you are.
Try to Climax Together
Obviously, you can’t quite control this one, but if you can, it leaves both parties very satisfied. Pay attention to the noises your partner is making, and try to match their intensity. If they are more relaxed and steady in their masturbatory movements, keep pace with them and prolong your own orgasm. If their breathing starts to pick up, or if their hips start bucking, try to intensify your own masturbation. Even if you or they are a little bit ahead, the sight and sound of seeing a sexual partner cumming will often push you or them over the hill, and you’ll still both come down together.
Never, ever, make a mess and sign off immediately afterward. That’s the best way to make your partner feel like a digital escort. Make sure that you hang out with your partner online for at least a bit afterward. If that means letting them watch you towel yourself off, so be it; if that means lying there in your own filth and letting them admire that, then go with it. Sex has never, ever been clean, so have no such expectations of online sex. Talk about your recently shared experience, joke with them about it. Just generally have some pillow talk. Post-sexual tenderness isn’t just for physical sex; it can bring a close couple even closer together, and it can give a bit of closure with a hookup. No matter what the circumstance, never just climax and sign off.