How to Get My Girlfriend or Boyfriend in the Mood?


Regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship, getting your partner in the mood can be a challenge. Maybe things have gotten stagnant and you both are desensitized to your old tried-and-true methods of getting in the mood. Perhaps this is your first serious relationship or the first one you’ve had in a long time, and you can’t quite get the ball rolling.

If you are trying to get your girlfriend or boyfriend in the mood, then there are a few things that you can do. Consider trying multiple methods or even combining some for the best outcome.

Start Early

Did YOU know?

1) Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men found a relationship at a bar or club

2) 38% of singles are using online dating

3) One in six marriages now begin online

Getting your significant other into the mood for any kind of intimacy isn’t something that you can start five minutes beforehand. You may want to begin laying the groundwork early on, starting slowly and then working your way up. Sometimes, less really is more and starting with that in mind can be all it takes.

If you’re trying to set the mood so you can celebrate an occasion or milestone in your relationship—anniversary, birthday, etc.—consider starting earlier in the day. For some, getting into the mood is easier when there’s a sense of anticipation. Plant those seeds early so they can bloom nice and strong. How to Seduce Your Husband or Boyfriend in Bed?

Know the Signals

Maybe you and your significant other have been together for years and basically, know each other’s thoughts or perhaps this is your first time as a couple. No matter how long the two of you have been together, recognizing the signals is an essential part of getting in the mood. Misinterpreting a signal, or seeing one where there isn’t any can really dampen the mood.

There is the possibility that they may express their own interest differently than others, so you can’t always compare the situation to how it was with a previous partner. You could be thinking that they are not in the mood when they really are! Everyone’s different and past experience does not always apply, so pay attention.

You could also be sending the wrong signals. To you, it may be completely obvious that you’re trying to set the mood. However, your signals may be as clear as mud to your partner. Readjust your approach, and try again. How to Make Your Girlfriend Want You More Sexually?


It’s really difficult to do anything and enjoy it when you’re stressed out. Try as you might, your significant other might not be in the mood because of stress. While intimacy can help distress, many people will avoid it simply due to human nature; it’s a survival instinct to not seek pleasure during times of stress.

Help your boyfriend or girlfriend distress if you want to get them in the mood. Do so constructively, not just by knocking things off of their to-do list for them. Show them that the little things are not that big of a priority and that it’s going to be okay.

Get Romantic

Sometimes the easiest way to get your boyfriend or girlfriend in the mood is to woo them. Doing something romantic, even if it’s something small, can pique their interest and create a spark. Consider being a little spontaneous or do something that’s out of the ordinary for you. A single romantic gesture, especially if you normally are not the romantic type, can go a long way.

If your relationship has some mileage on it, then the reason why they’re not in the mood may be due to monotony. One of the biggest reasons why so many relationships find themselves in a rut is because they keep using the same tactics. Adding some romance to the relationship—not just to get them in the mood, but also in general—can really help get things started and add some much-needed spice.


Just because you’re in the mood doesn’t mean that they will be too! Timing does play a huge role in a relationship and during intimate moments like sex. Some people are simply wired for sex at certain times of the day. Think back to other instances when your significant other was in the mood—even if you weren’t.

Likewise, things that are going on outside of your relationship can affect their mood. Sex and intimacy can be a way for some to distract themselves from the events in their lives, but those same things can function as obstacles. If your significant other isn’t in the mood, and nothing you are doing is getting them to that point, think about what might be going on that’s stopping or distracting them.


Sometimes, the easiest way to set the mood involves basic communication. Being able to adequately communicate can not only make it easier to get your partner in the mood but can make your relationship stronger.

Communicating can also help prevent awkward or uncomfortable situations. As you try to get them in the mood and later on, you don’t want one of you to zig when you should have zagged. Be clear about what you want or what you want to do, and make sure that you take their thoughts into consideration.

Mind Your Manners

Minding your manners can involve your approach. Being mindful of your partner while setting the mood can make them much more comfortable. Even if you have been together for years, there is usually a certain level of etiquette involved in your relationship. Rudeness will only have the opposite effect.

Despite all of your efforts, the answer might just be “no.” Continually badgering them will not cause them to suddenly be in the mood; if anything, it can cause both of you to become upset and lead to a fight. If they don’t want to do something or anything, keep your cool and respect that. Use your manners and respect their consent; they will most certainly notice and remember.