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Rebounding gets a bad rap in the dating world, but a good, old-fashioned rebound relationship can be doable, even beneficial to the newly dumped. Connecting with someone new in the turbulent, post-break up period provides stability, confidence, and can help overcome the hurt of being pushed aside.
But finding a rebound partner can be tough, especially with the idea that it’s unhealthy or less valid as a relationship. Before getting into one, it helps to look at yourself and ask what you really want. Dating, even casual dating, can be stressful. If you don’t even want to chance it right now, it might be better to let time do the healing. If you think you need someone to bounce off of, then go ahead. Rebounding can be a great way to overcome a break up – if you do it right.
For starters, serious commitments are a no-go. You’re not looking for Ex Number 2, you want someone to have fun with and get some confidence from. Don’t jump into an emotional, long-term commitment. Wait until you’ve got your feelings sorted out, or your baggage will bring the new relationship down. So long as it’s casual, your rebound can be anything. Exclusive but low-pressure. Or non-monogamous and varied. Just keep it free of promises or expectations.
Naturally, your partner should know exactly what’s going on with you, and exactly what they’re getting into. You don’t need a sob session, but make sure they know you’re on the rebound and just looking for some fun. You want a partner who will make you feel confident and take your mind off your ex. If they go in expecting true love and happily ever after, you might just be the one that leaves them needing a rebound. Consider their feelings, establish boundaries, and make it clear that you’re not looking or ready for anything long term.
Start Fresh and New
Pick a guy you’ve never meant before. Pick a guy you’re likely to never meet again. You don’t want to sabotage any friendships you have by dating the guy you’ve known for years. And you don’t want to ruin your chances with that girl you’ve been crushing on since college. Alternatively, pick someone you know but never wanted to date. Someone you won’t list as a missed chance or past regret when the rebound goes south, because it will go south. Just whoever you pick to rebound on, pick someone you wouldn’t be interested in otherwise. You should be able to have fun with them, but don’t worry about the long-term viability of the relationship. There is none!
In addition to them being new, they should be different, too. Try to find someone who’s totally opposite to your ex. To their personality, their looks, their habits. You can’t think about his pretty smile if your new guy’s got brilliant eyes. You won’t get stuck on your ex’s sense of humor if your new girl is better with deep conversation. Finding someone different makes it easier to forget, and forgetting makes it easier to move on to a relationship that’s serious. You can’t heal if every similarity keeps tearing the wound open.
This also allows you to try out people and relationships that you might not have thought were for you. Maybe you find out you’re into sporty types, or intellectuals. Maybe you like a guy who’s a bit more reserved, or a girl who’s a bit more wild. You’d never know if you didn’t try it out, and with the low-pressure of a rebound relationship, that’s exactly what you have the opportunity to do, now. So get out there and see what’s new, what you, what you don’t.
One easy way to find a rebound guy or a girl is to go online. Dating websites have thousands of singles you can choose from without leaving your house. This can be really handy if you are not in the mood to go out and meet people in places like bars or clubs. View pics for free now on Match.com, the #1 dating site!
Sort Yourself Out
Post-break up periods and rebound relationships are all about you and your feelings. A big part of getting over your past relationship is to ask yourself what went wrong with it, what you could’ve done better, what you should avoid next time. Shopping around and test driving the rebounds can help with this process. By trying out new things, you’ll get a better understanding what gets you going, and what might sabotage you in the future. Get that established now, with a relationship that doesn’t matter. You’ll improve your chances of success in the future.
With all that advice on the table, you should be able to find yourself a rebound that’s fun, free, casual, and most important of all, totally different from what you were getting from your ex.