Trying to find a date on Tinder can be stressful. You swipe right on a bunch of cute people and finally get a few matches that look promising, only to be greeted with the generic “hey” or “how are you?” message. Those messages offer an endless amount of responses, and figuring out how to reply can be an overwhelming task. If you’re looking for the perfect thing to say, one of these options may be perfect for you.
Tell a Story
When posed with the “how are you?” question, one option you have is to turn the conversation into a fun, creative story that would get the other person involved. You could follow up with, “not too good because…” and give an outlandish reason why.
- Were abducted by aliens,
- had to fight a bear.
- are actually a super-secret spy on a tough mission
Whatever the reason, keep it lighthearted and give the other person a chance to play along.
When given such a bland message to start, this could be a perfect opportunity to gage the other person’s personality. If you’re someone who finds this sort of back-and-forth a must-have in date, then this gives you the chance to see if your humor is compatible. It’s also a fun way to break the ice and create some new inside jokes with a potential partner.
Tell a Joke
Nothing breaks the ice better than making the other person laugh. Along the same lines as the previous suggestion, this can allow you to test the sense of humor of the other person and decide whether they make a good match for you. Being funny also makes you seem more likable and easy to talk to. Be sure to consider what kind of joke you’re making before you respond because some can be considered offensive, and that’s a quick way to make someone lose interest.
The goal of your reply is to get the other person to message back. If you start with something like a knock-knock joke, this can be a good encouragement for someone to respond. Jokes are a great opportunity for a nice back-and-forth that leads naturally into a conversation and (hopefully) a date.
Use a (funny) Pick-Up Line
A tried-and-true method for breaking the ice has always been pick-up lines. This may not work on everyone, but it’s a fun and playful way to initiate a conversation. You could go with a simple, “You come here often?” poking fun at the nature of dating apps, or you could go with a fan favorite like, “Do you know what this shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.” Again, make sure these stay appropriate and amusing and stay away from coming off as creepy.
Research Their Profile
When receiving just a simple “hey,” it can be easy to assume that the person who messaged you is boring or not very into you, but both of those things could be wrong. While you think of what to say or consider whether to respond at all, you can take the opportunity to look at the other person’s profile and get a sense of who they are and the things they like.
You may find that you both share similar interests and can use that in your response. Being personal in a message will always make you stand out, and saying, “Hey, I noticed that we both enjoy books” is a good way to push past the awkwardness of that first “hey” and dive straight into a budding relationship.
Give Them a Taste of Their Own Medicine
If you’re someone who is immediately turned off by receiving a simple “hey,” it can be the best revenge to send something just as boring back. Responding with “hi” or “hey” back can get your point across, and it puts the ball in the other person’s court. Now they’re responsible for trying to move the conversation along and come up with something creative or clever to say.
This can be a good test of whether or not they’re really interested in you. If they think you’re worth pursuing, they’ll put more effort into the conversation from that point. If they were just messaging anyone they matched with, they’ll let the conversation drop or respond with something equally as generic.
Creating real connections with someone over a dating app can be daunting, especially when the pressure is put on you to respond to a message that doesn’t reveal a lot about the sender. It may be tempting to just ignore the message or even to unmatch with the person, but you could be missing out on a meaningful relationship. Next time you receive a generic “hey,” use one of these 5 tactics to start up a conversation.